Saturday, March 17, 2007

Eh ... ?

Realistically, I know that I've lost my job. But it kind of feels as if I'm simply on holidays ...
Anyway, there's not much happening here. My sister rang on Thursday to tell me that I'm going to be an aunty again (for the 3rd time). Gotta say, it wasn't really a suprise, and I don't think this baby was an "accident". I don't think mum is too happy about it, but what can you do?
Thursday was a busy day, I had my house inspection in the morning, which went well, and then I went to centrelink, to be told (after I'd stood in line for 25 freakin minutes) that I have to apply over the phone. So I came home and rang up, only to be told that I have to wait 6 weeks to apply. 6 weeks. What am I meant to live on in the mean time??
Also had the appointment with the psychiatrist (is that spelt right?) on Thursday. It went pretty well. I feel like ... this whole thing has made me realise that trying to please everyone else, and putting everyone else first, isn't any way to live. So I'll be saying what I think from now on, and doing what I want, and saying "NO" to people if they want me to do something that's a bit too much. I think the whole problem has been that I just took on too much, and instead of trying to stop and ask for help, instead of thinking about it, and dealing with it properly, I just kept going. And look where it landed me! No job + mental breakdown = not the best position to be in.
Yesterday was a down day, very quiet all morning, and then I slept all afternoon. Got up, had some dinner, watched the NRL (thank god it's back!) then fell asleep on the couch again, and slept there all night. I think I need some kind of routine, because I am tired all the time. And I know that's from not doing much, as well as the depression, and I can't keep sleeping all the time. This morning it was 11 a.m. before I got out of bed, and I went to sleep about 11 p.m. last night! 12 hours! So I think today I might try to work out a routine and see how I go.
Anyway. I've yet to have a shower or get organised for today (not that I have any plans ...) so I should probably go do something about that.
** "Later, dudes" **

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