Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Somebody found this blog by typing into Google the following words ...

Where do gorillas pee

.... Um ... That's a bit weird.

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Pictures of you

Has anyone else seen the new TAC ads?

The ones with people who have lost their children/family members due to speeding drivers.

"I've been looking so long at these pictures of you, that i almost believe that they're real"

It makes me cry. Every time.

** I just found the lyrics to the song that's on the ad. It's called 'Pictures of you'. It was originally sung by The Cure. (Only the first 5 lines and the last verse are used in the ad though, I think.)

i've been looking so long at these pictures of you
that i almost belive that they're real
i've been living so long
with my pictures of you that
i almost believe that the pictures are all i can feel
remembering you standing quiet in the rain as
i ran to your heart to be near and we kissed as
the sky fell in holding you close how i always
held close in your fear remembering you
running soft through the night you were bigger
and brighter and whiter than the snow and you
screamed at the make-believe screamed at the
sky and you finally found all your courage to
let it all go

remembering you fallen into my arms crying
for the death of your heart you were stone
white so delicate lost in the cold you were
always so lost in the dark remembering you
how you used to be slow drowned you were
angels so much more than everything oh hold
for the last time then slip away quietly open
my eyes but i never see anything
if only i'd thought of the right words i could
have held on to your heart if only i'd thought of
the right words i wouldn't be breaking apart all
my pictures of you

So long at these pictures of you
but i
never hold on to your heart
looking so long for
the words to be true
but always just breaking
apart my pictures of you
there was nothing in the world that i ever
wanted more than to feel you deep in my heart
there was nothing in the world that i ever
wanted more than to never feel the breaking
my pictures of you

Cheer up, Emo Kid.

So, I went to Echuca today.

To see the "Miracle Man" - the deep tissue/sports massage guy.

It was actually a good day. It was really fun, and relaxing.

Well, except for the FIVE times I got lost.

I ate lunch at the Port of Echuca. It was awesome. It was so relaxing, sitting on the banks of the Mighty Murray. No one was in a hurry, it was perfect weather and it was so peaceful. It was just what I needed.

I cannot believe how many times I got lost.

Once, I even LOST MY CAR! I went walking to the Port, after parking my car about 3 blocks away. Walking back, I couldn't remember where I'd parked my damn car. It was only after 15 minutes of walking that I happened to glance left (to make sure the road was clear before I crossed) and I finally spotted my car.

The massage was great. Worth driving an hour for. I've made another appointment for next month. I think I'll be doing it every month. The guy was not gentle with my EXTREMELY sore spot at the bottom of my back, but I think it did me good. I'm feeling pretty good. Got home and went for a two hour walk. Went past Chrissie's place and dropped off the present I got for her.

In the last month and a half, Jersey (Christine's dog) has destroyed THREE of my t-shirts. Considering I don't own that many shirts, that's half of what I have! One I got for Christmas - an awesome pink converse one which I loved, a really comfy blue one, and a white tee that I also got for Christmas. I hadn't gotten around to replacing any of them ... Because, let's face it, I'm lazy and don't have a problem with wearing the same two shirts on my days off ... But today, I was walking past JayJays in Echuca and spotted some shirts with slogans on them that I found hilarious. I couldn't really afford them, but I just went what the hell ... I got one that says "I don't discriminate. I hate everybody" (Won't be wearin that one in front of mum!) "Sorry ... About your face" and "Cheer up, Emo Kid!" (That's my fave!!). So help me god, if the dog destroys any of them I'll be taking him on a holiday ... TO THE POUND!

Oh. Hey Dan. Before, I was wondering why you hadn't mentioned getting my present. Then I went searching for something in the desk drawer, and ... There's your present. Still sitting in my drawer. That's just brilliant of me, isn't it?! I could have sworn I sent it like three weeks ago. Oopsie ...

Anyway. Dinner's ready so I might get going. I gotta do my dishes from the last three nights since I've been too lazy to do them. Then it's bath and bed, since it's back to work tomorrow. I'm out. Peace, love and laughter guys.

Monday, February 25, 2008

I can't fix this ...

Sunday, February 24, 2008

Adam Cohen - Cry Ophelia

Something went wrong
You're not laughing
It's not so easy now to get you to smile
You gotta be strong
To walk these streets
And keep from falling
But when you're not, just let yourself cry

You've been working hard
Just trying to pay the rent
Tryin' to draw the line between who you are and who you invent
But if you throw a stone
Something's gonna shatter somewhere
We're all so fragile
We're all so scared
You say you wanna learn how to live your life without tears
But we've been trying to do that for thousands of years

So go on and cry Ophelia
It's the only thing to do sometimes
You know I'm crying too
Right there with you
It's alright Ophelia
Everybody cries

Thank god for my bad memory
I've forgotten some of the stupid things that I've done
I've come to a little wisdom through a whole lot of failure
So I watch more carefully what rolls off my tongue
You pray for rain
But you don't want it from a storm
You find a rose
And cut your finger on a thorn

So go on and cry Ophelia
It's the only thing to do sometimes
You know I'm crying too
Right there with you
It's alright Ophelia
Everybody cries Ophelia

I've been listening to this song all day.

Saturday, February 23, 2008

Firstly, a quote from my day:

I'm singing along to an old 90's song that was playing at work.
Ash: Wow, Rach, you could be on Australian Idol! Oh, except you have to be under 30.
Me: Ashlea, if you tell me you think I'm OLDER than 30, I will kick your arse!
Ash: Hahaha ... Was this song cool when you were young?
Ash: It's 16 days until my 16th birthday!
Me: I give up. Want to know what the dinosaurs were like?


So, I rang my sister today. I havent talked to her for a while.

I knew that a few weeks ago, she went to stay with my brother, his girlfriend and my nephew. I haven't heard from her since she got back though. And considering my mother and I fight everytime we speak about my brother, it seems easier to just not talk about him.

See, it's been a year since all that shit happened. I'm now at the 'just-don't-give-a-damn,-could-honestly-not-care-less-about-my-brother' phase. Yeah, it was upsetting when it happened. Yeah, it seemed like it would tear out family apart. Yeah, I wanted to kill my brother for abusing my nephew. But whatever. Moved on. Just have no desire to ever speak to him again, don't care about what happens to him.

But today, my sister told me that she hasn't spoken to him since she returned home from her holiday.

Now, my sister is ... Protective of my brother. They've always been fairly close. She will make excuse after excuse for him, give him money, let him stay at her house when he and his girlfriend have had a fight. She will bitch and moan to me when I call her, but she still won't get tough with him. Whatever, that's her choice. She believes his lies, well, she can deal with the consequences. I don't say anything to her about the way I feel about him. She knows I don't speak to him, and when I'm talking to her, I simply don't speak of him. Ever.

Anyway. I was a little surprised to hear that they weren't speaking. Then she went on to tell me why:

Because he:

- Hit nephew (J) numerous times (including with a rolled up magazine)
- Made my nephew sit on the couch, for TWO hours, without moving, without talking, because he wanted to watch the WRESTLING and didn't want J playing with his toys. THE KID IS THREE YEARS OLD, FOR GODS SAKE. He should be allowed to play with his own goddamn toys.
- Yelled at J for getting out of bed in the morning and playing with his toys, because my fuckwit brother wanted to sleep in. The time? 11 a.m.
- Severly limits J's food intake. HE IS A GROWING KID! HE NEEDS FOOD!

I don't even know what to say. Child abuse. Again. And my brothers girlfriend? J's mum? What the hell is she doing, letting this go on? She KNOWS what is going on. And she's letting it continue.

I am not doing this again. Monday, I'm working all day. Tuesday, I'm ringing DHS.

Friday, February 22, 2008

Christine: Mary had 4 kittens in her first litter. We gave one to C****.
Me: Cool.
Christine: Course, then it gotten eaten by a police dog in a drug raid on their house.
Me: *Laughing hysterically* Are you serious?!
Christine: Yeah. We didn't think it was a good idea to give them another kitten. You know, just in case it happened again.
Me: ... ... Uh ... Ok then!

Wednesday, February 20, 2008


Answers to the name *Buckley*.

Adoreable, 6 month-old, friendly lop-eared dwarf rabbit.

All white, with gorgeous long ears. Will sit quietly and contentedly as you stroke his ears.

Loves to climb all over you while you chill out together.

Will throw cute little temper tantrums when put back in his cage!

Loves to eat expensive textbooks, chew on cords and tear up carpet when allowed to roam the house!

Has heaps of fun scratching the shit out of you on a daily basis!

Has a hilarious stubborn personality!

Loves to pee all over couches and beds, as well as floors!

Gorgeous, destructive and tempremental rabbit comes with:
* Cage
* Toys
* His own little blanket *Warning: He does not like people touching his blanket*
* Free food and vegetables for ONE WHOLE YEAR! Yep, I'll feed him for one year for you!

Please contact me if you want to own this perfect catch!

Sunday, February 17, 2008

Who, exactly, is being unreasonable?

So, Christine came around the other day. Her and Jason have broken up (again). But I think it's final this time. This is how our conversation went ...

Christine: I've deleted his numbers from my phone.
Me: What, you don't know them automatically?
Chrissie: Nup. And I tore up his business card.
Me: He has a business card? Cool.
Chrissie: It's NOT COOL! You're meant to be on my side!
Me: Ok. So he's a total, utter dumbarse. Only dickheads have business cards.
Chrissie: I even deleted messenger off my computer, deleted his hotmail address AND cleared the little history thing.
Me: Wow. Ok then.
Christine: ... ...
Me: What? What's wrong?
Chrissie: I think I need to get a new phone number. I mean, what if he decides to message me or ring me one day? I need to change my number.
Me: Ok, well make sure you give me the number.
Chrissie: You're not taking me seriously!
Me: Yes, I am. I seriously want you to give me you're new number ... When you get it.
Chrissie: And you know how we were talking about moving in together? And we were thinking maybe at the end of the year? Could we do that a bit sooner than we planned?
Me: How much sooner?
Chrissie: Next week.
Me: Sure. Why the hell not?
Chrissie: That would be great.
Me: Well, we're going to Medicare soon, and DCK and Tweed Sutherland are right near Medicare. We'll just pop in and get some rental listings, and start looking today. Ok?
Christine: Oh, now you're just being ridiculous!
Me: I'M the one being ridiculous?! Ha!
Christine: Oh, by the way, I need to steal Jason's GPS thingy, to take my address out of it.
Me: If you're moving, what does it matter if he's got your old address? But, if it really matters to you, all we have to do is go to Melbourne, sit outside his house, wait until he's in bed for the night, break into his ute, break/change the GPS and then we can go home. Simple.

Yeah, this is the way our conversation actually went.
Hahaha ....

Bunny cards for every occasion. (Thanks, Dan)

Saturday, February 16, 2008

Click. Come on, you know you want to.

Look to the left of the screen.

Right next to this post.

Go on, look now.

There's a cute little pink picture.

It's for the Breast Cancer Site. It's an American site (not sure if Australia has a site) and you can help to fund free mammograms by just clicking on the link, then clicking on the button.

Seriously, it's that simple.

It'd be great if you could do it everyday ... Okey-dokies? Great. Thanks!

P.S. Did you read my last post? (Yes, YOU! I'm talking to you. No, you know who you are - that is, the person I'm talking to specifically here now knows who they are, and that I'm talking to them right now ... Ohhh man.) If you did ... Well, the work thing hasn't changed much. Everything's confused and it's hasn't been a lot of fun. I'm trying not to think about it right now though. I have two days off - tomorrow and Monday. I'll probably go back to work to find out that I don't have a job. Eh. Oh well.

P.P.S. Dan, I'm sorry I didn't meet you out last night. I hope you had a great night. I got home from work and was pretty upset. By 10 o'clock last night I was ... Well, a mess. Did you have a hangover this morning? (!!!) Hey, did you drive here in your new car? If you did, I'm going to be pissed I didn't get to see it! (Even though that's totally my fault ... Whatever!)

P.P.P.S. I've recently discovered Google Analytics, so I know who you are and where you're reading this from ... Hahaha ... Not really. I know that someone has looked up "Naming Day Speech", and they ended up here (because of the speech I wrote for Ryan's naming day. Did you know that if you look up 'Naming Day Speech' online, all you get is a bunch of people who will write you a speech - for money. You don't get much help on what to write for a NDS). Anyway. Did you like it? And a big hey to whoever it is that's from N.Z. who visited me the other day. You know, you guys can leave comments if you want. Don't be afraid to say Hi. And G'day to the visitors from the U.S. :-) Yup, I know you're there!

Friday, February 15, 2008

What. A. Day.

It's been a big 24 hours.

In the last 24 hours, I have been:

- Early for work
- Late for work
- Employed
- Unemployed
- Re-employed
- Confused
- Worried / Panicked
- Giggley / Bordering on hysterical
- Hopeful

What the hell, huh?

This morning (well, actually yesterday morning since it's 1 a.m.) I rocked up for work at 8:45 a.m., thinking that my start time was 9. I got there to find that Heather had already set up the kiosk, and I went "Hmm ... That's strange. I thought that was my job today!" However, Heather was the one going "Hmmm" when she spotted me, because I wasn't meant to be at work until 10. Oops.
So home I went for an hour.
However, once I got home, I started reading a book, and got distracted and totally lost track of time. Looked at the clock ... "Oh shit! It's 9:40!"
So after being early for work, I was then late. Only just, though.

Like I said yesterday, things haven't been going well for the business at work. Heather has been under a lot of stress, and has been talking about trying to get out of the lease for the kiosk. She would keep the cafe, but close the kiosk down. I had talked her though, and she had assured me that if the kiosk closed down, I'd have a job in the cafe or their other business in Bendigo.

Today, everything sort of fell to hell, went to pieces and ... Well, it was shit.

About 11 a.m., Heather came over to tell me that Nick (the actual owner of the cafe - Heather rents it from him) had taken the cafe back. Heather had gone to Nick, and told him that she needed a little extra time to pay the lease this month. His response? "Get out of the cafe by the end of the month". Added to that? "There's no way you're getting out the kiosk lease".

Heather came over, in tears, to tell me that she couldn't afford to keep me on. She was so upset. She told me that her only option was to work in the kiosk by herself, to try and make some money, with the view of selling it soon.

She also told me that although she had said I could work at the other business that that wouldn't be possible. Heather and her husband, Frank, had actually already told two other girls this morning (from the other business) that they couldn't afford to keep them on. The cafe and the kiosk (the kiosk especially) have both been doing so badly that we have been losing a lot of money, so much that Heather and Frank have seriously considered selling their house to keep the cafe and the kiosk afloat. (It's not just the cafe and the kiosk that are not going well, by the way - the whole centre has been very quiet, and at least 4 other businesses there are in serious trouble.)

So ...

Hello, unemployment.

At first, I was concerned, (how am I going to pay rent, bills, buy food, how the hell am I going to get another job, what's going to happen now?) but I was more worried about Heather. She was devastated, and kept apologising. I know that this isn't her fault. I honestly believe this is Nick's work. He has wanted the cafe back for months, and has made no secret of that. He's made things difficult at every turn for us, and he is a utter bastard. Heather is working her arse off to try and keep afloat, and I know that this has been hell for her for months. She's been trying to put this off for as long as possible, because she was worried about us (her employees), and I guess something had to break.

However, after the afternoon went on, I started to panic a little.

Then, about 4 p.m., Heather had a meeting with Nick. He had decided to sit down and talk to her, and try and work something out. Whilst he was unwilling to give back the cafe (meaning 4 girls from the cafe are still out of work), he was willing to move the kiosk into a shop, at no cost to Heather. We have two vacant shops at the Market Centre, and it appears we will be moving into one of them.

So, immediately after Heather and Nick had their chat, Heather came to me, and told me all that had happened. If this goes ahead - if we do move into a shop - I will not lose my job. We'd move the kiosk into a shop, which would mean we could continue doing the food etc. we were doing the cafe, because we would have the room. In the kiosk, we currently do milkshakes, juices, hot drinks, gelati, cakes/slices/muffins. If we moved into a shop, we would have the room to do the cafe food, such as sandwhiches, rolls, hot food - fried food, chicken packs and proper meals - etc.

I say *if*, because I refuse to get my hopes up yet. I know Nick. He is, to be perfectly honest, a ruthless arsehole. His needs come first, screw everyone else. I want so much for this to come through - for Heather - because if this works out it would be a huge weight off her shoulders - for me, and for the girls in the cafe, because then we wouldn't lose our jobs, but right now? It's a wait and see game.

So, right now, it's 1:45 a.m. I'm still awake, because my damn brain won't switch off. Everything is a mess inside my head. Heather and I had another chat before I left, and by that stage I was just so confused, and I had gone really quiet. I was just trying to get things straight in my head, I guess. She asked if I was ok, (for about the thirtieth time today :-)) and I had to say "I really don't know. I don't know what to think".

I don't think this will resolve quickly. Today, I honestly thought that Saturday would be my last shift at work. But now, I don't know what's going to happen next week.

Anyway, I have to be up for work in 5 hours, so I better try to get some sleep. Peace out, guys.

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

The one where I make a list and pretend like I'm organised

Firstly, the picture in the post below is actually animated. Click on it, and it'll take you to another page where the picture will move and words will appear.

Now, onto other things ...

Today's blog topics:

(This list is for me, because I've got a feeling this is gonna be a long one, and I don't wanna forget anything)

1. Some people just seem to be shit-magnets, don't they?
2. Let's talk about the musical stylings of the Snappz.
3. Work. And unemployment.
4. Health. And English x-ray techs who make me miss the cricket.
5. Open letter to Joey Johns.

Ok, let's get into it ...

1. Yesterday, Christine and I both had the day off work. We had a pretty cool day, relaxing, catching up with Ang, yada yada yada. Yesterday afternoon it warmed up, and we decided it was ice-cream weather. So we headed to the MarketPlace, where we ran into a girl that we actually went to school with. Her name is S.
S is a beautiful person, she really is. She's about the same age as my sister - almost 27. She had her gorgeous 11 week old son with her.
S (and her mum) have not had things easy. S has one older sister. When S and her sister were little, their dad died suddenly. When I was 12, S's older sister heard a noise from the backyard one night and went to investigate. She was bashed, and spent a week in Melbourne on life-support before S and her mum made the heart-breaking decision to turn off the machines.
So at 16, after losing her dad, she also loses her sister. She has only her mum left.
A few years ago, I saw S. Things were going ok for her. Her and her boyfriend, J, had had their first child - a boy. She was happy. Her mum loved being a grandma.
Sadly, less than a year later, they lost their little boy. They sat by and watched as he died from a very rare form of cancer. There was nothing that the doctors could do for him.
However, when I last saw S - a couple of months ago while I was at work - things seemed to be looking up for her. She was pregnant - her and J were expecting their third child. Their second is a little under two years old. J, who had been very sick for a while, was out of hospital and doing well.
Yesterday, S told us that her mum has been diagnosed with cancer. Things don't look good.

Some people seem to have more than their fair share of shit to deal with in life.

Here's a girl in her 20's. She's lost her dad, and her sister. She watched her son die. She's been by her partners side as he dealt with some pretty serious health issues. And now she's watching her mum go through chemo, which will only buy her mum an extra couple of months.

How is that fair?

And what amazes me is that S is such a beautiful, positive person. I don't know how the hell she does it, but she picks herself up, dusts herself off each time, and keeps moving.


2. Perhaps a more appropriate title would have been ... What musical stylings?!
I brought ... And I don't know why, or what the hell I was thinking ... But I know own a flute ...

Let me tell you what happened. A couple of weeks ago, I was on ebay. I haven't been on ebay in maybe 10-11 months. I was looking around, not planning on buying anything ... And yet, somehow I found a flute, at a great price, and I bid ... And I won.

Now, I have played the flute. A couple of years ago ... Ok, about 5 years ago ... Wow, has it been 8 years since I've played a flute?!

It arrived yesterday. I also purchased a how to play the flute book, which arrived at the end of last week. It was fantastically helpful for those few days before the flute arrived ... *lol* So last night, I put the flute together, and played around a bit. I was tooting away last night, and looked at the clock, only to realise it was 11:45 p.m. Yup, bet the bloke next door is THRILLED that I now own a flute!

Anyway. I've figured out how to play B, C, G, and I'm working on D. A hates me. I cannot get A. Today, I managed to get out an A note, and then I went to turn a page of my book and ... I lost it.

I was playing before, and so unimpressed by my wonderful musical talents was my rabbit, who when I looked over at him, was fast asleep. Great. Thanks for being such an attentive audience, Buckley!

Anyway. We'll see how it goes. Maybe one day I'll actually be able to play music on it. At the moment I'm just playing individual notes, occasionally putting them together. It's a lot of fun :-)


3. Work. Well.
It's not going great.
Not so much personally. I'm actually enjoying it at the moment - I'm talking to my boss about stuff more - like when I'm not feeling great, etc. I'm not taking it personally when she has a go at me about something stupid. I know I haven't done anything wrong and she's just stressed. It doesn't matter to me anymore.
But on Monday my boss told me that she wants to sell the business, or just close it down if she can't sell it. It's not likely that she will be able to sell it because it's not making any money. We're very, very quiet, and my boss is losing more and more money. And it doesn't look like things are going to get any better, so I guess it's makes sense that she wants to get out.
Heather and I have already talked about my job - which will no longer exist if there's no kiosk. She's willing to put me in the cafe or in their other business (which is in the middle of Bendigo), which is amazing of her and I do appreciate it. I was thinking of maybe looking for something else though, and maybe staying at the cafe part-time. The reality is, my back is fucked. I can barely work a full day, and I only get through an 8 hour shift by taking 2 very strong painkillers. I'm working on doing something about my back (more about that next) but I think that by changing jobs to something a little less physically demanding - where I'm not on my feet 8 hours a day, and not lifting/bending all day - would help a lot. However, I love the environment of the cafe/kiosk, and I have fun out there. I love going to work because I know I'm going to have a laugh with the girls, and I'm going to have some fun during the day. We make a great team, and I would miss that.
At the moment though, it's just a waiting game. Waiting to see if the business sells/gets closed down, waiting to see what happens with my back, waiting to see what happens with the cafe, waiting, waiting, waiting ...


4. Yesterday, I got a lot done. Some housework. Went to visit Ang. Got to hang out with my gorgeous godson for a while. Picked up my flute from the Post Office. Paid some bills.
Finally got around to having my x-ray.
Last week, when I went to the doctor, she gave me a referral for an x-ray. She wants to find out exactly what's going on with my back. Since then, I haven't had a chance to get it done.
But yesterday, Chrissie and I headed up to Medical Imaging at the BHCG to get it done. Thankfully, you can just walk in to get x-rays done here. You don't have to make an appointment, which is great. Usually there's a wait, but it's not normally too long.
Yesterday, they had the cricket on in the waiting room! Score!
Sadly, Australia wasn't playing, which was a bummer, but there is no such thing as bad cricket, so I settled myself in for the wait, and glued my eyes to the screen.
Christine, who has no interest in cricket, started reading Beauty And The Beast, out loud, until I moved three seats down and she begged me to come back.
I got to see maybe twenty minutes of cricket before the x-ray tech/nurse chick (who had the most hilarious English accent ever!), called my name.
The x-ray took a little longer than I thought.
Three times the tech told me she was done. Three times I got up and got dressed, only to be told that she just had to take another couple. Three times I got undressed and back into the little gown.
Apparently, I have a "deceivingly long spine". Huh. Didn't know that, thanks for letting me know.
And of course, the problem is actually at the bottom of my back/lower back, so she kind of needed those x-rays!
Anyway, I go to the doctor on Friday for my results, so hopefully the x-ray will show something that easy enough to fix.
I have actually started to organise physio, because that should help - I have made an appointment with a guy in Echuca who's meant to be a miracle worker. He's so good, I can't get an appointment until the 26th! I'm working on something before then, there's apparently a clinic in Bendigo that's also great, but I need a referral from my doctor to go there, so I'll get one on Friday. I'm still in pain daily, tired all the time, with a constant headache, but I'm trying to fix things, and I have hope that something has to work soon, right?! :-)

Dear Joey.


I know we've never met, but I feel like I can call you Joey. Hope that's cool.

Firstly, I want to say Congrats. Read your book, and It. Was. Awesome.

I didn't think that it would be as good as it was. With all the press surrounding it, and everything that came out when the book was released, I'm not sure what I thought it would be, but I wasn't expecting something that honest, and open.

So, Kudos to you.

Anyway. I wanted to say thanks. Thanks ever-so-much for the embarrassing moment I had earlier that I'm blaming on you.

Tonight, I went for a walk. I had my ipod with me, and I'd just started listening to the Meshel, Ash and Kip - with Luttsy - Podcast. You would know of Meshel, Ash and Kip with Luttsy, wouldn't you Joey? Considering you talked to them on air this morning? Remember that?

Remember the fucking hilarious story you told?

And the one liner about your mum having a hand in your grand final win? (Which, by the way, is totally making me crack up again right now!)

So, I'm walking along, just about pissing myself laughing. Which should be embarrassing, but I do that on a daily basis, so whatever.

I start laughing so hard, I lose track of where I am.

And I don't hear the guy on a bike, right behind me on the footpath, ringing his bell to warn me he's RIGHT BEHIND ME!

In a tangle of arms, legs and wheels, I get taken down.

So, thanks Joey. Really appreciate it!

Yours sincerely,

The World's Biggest Idiot.

Sunday, February 10, 2008

Love ya, Dad.

So, I love my dad, I really do.

I am just so, so thankful that I did not inherit his patience and temper.

Because if I had, I would not have been able to sit here today, for THREE HOURS, teaching my dad how to work the new DVD recorder he and mum purchased yesterday.

If I had inherited dad's temper, I would have gotten frustrated and started yelling about 15 minutes in.

I would have gotten seriously annoyed when he asked me questions such as "But how does the DVD player know when to record if the tv is off? Do we have to leave the tv on all the time now?" and "What happens if I change tv channels when the DVD player is recording?" "How does the DVD always know exactly when to stop recording?"

Dad, I've already told you the answers to those questions at least thirty times.

If I had my dads patience, I would not have written out, step-by-step, how to record a tv prgram, then shown him, step-by-step, then watched as he did it himself.

You know what? After three hours though, I was nearly laughing.

And I have no doubt, that sometime this week I will get a phonecall from either my mother or my father, asking ... "How do I use that stupid DVD thing?"

I guess as well as being blessed with patience ... I also got insanity.

Saturday, February 02, 2008

Baby Smurf!

Don't be deceived ... This photo is not from 2004! This is Baby Smurf, who is now 2 and a half months old ... Guess who's started to smile! :-)

Friday, February 01, 2008

The best laid plans ...

So, I had a plan for tonight.

This week, I have been doing long days at work, working alone in the kiosk. We are down two staff members - one quit unexpectedly last weekend, and one is off sick. And considering that we were short-staffed to begin with, that makes things even more difficult.

But today was going to be my "short" day at work. I was going to work from 10 until 4:30. Only 6 and a half hours of being rushed off my feet, dealing with everything on my own. I had thought that my afternoon would go something like this:

4:30 - Leave work
4:45 - Get home, sit down, relax and chill out
6:00 - Go get a pizza for dinner
6:45 - Have a nice, long, relaxing bath
7:30 - Park arse on couch and watch Twenty20 game live from MCG
10:30 - Head to bed, relaxed and refreshed, ready for another 10 hour day tomorrow.

Ok, now lets look at how my afternoon/night actually went ...

5:15 - Finally leave work
5:30 - Am almost home when I look at my petrol gauge and realise I should probably fill up sometime soon if I want my car to keep working. Pull into petrol station to realise that even though I have my bag, I didn't put my wallet in my bag before leaving home this morning. Brilliant.
5:40 - Get home, get wallet, turn around and go back out to get petrol.
6:15 - Return home again to discover psycho rabbit has thrown his water bowl, and turned it upside down, soaking the newspaper at the bottom of his cage. He has then shredded the newspaper, making a massive mess.
6:20 - Swear at rabbit as I realise I'm going to have to clean out the cage.
6:30 - Have no newspaper to put on the bottom of rabbits cage. Head out again, buy 4 newspapers and return home ... Again.
6:50 - Finish cleaning out rabbits cage, put rabbit back in his cage in disgrace. Realise I am starving.
7:00 - Head into bedroom to change out of work clothes. Have a drink on the way to bedroom, and then chuck my bottle of coke from work on my bed. Get changed, then look at bed to notice coke bottle has leaked. All over the middle of my bed.
7:15 - Put work clothes in wash. Strip bed, chuck sheets on the laundry floor.
7:20 - Head out (again) to get pizza.
7:50 - Get home, watch cricket for a few minutes.
8:00 - Hang out work clothes. Put sheets on to wash.
8:15 - Get out clean sheets and remake bed.
8:25 - Let rabbit out for a quick run around loungeroom.
8:45 - Rabbit runs straight into birds cage. Birds go nuts, seed and feathers flying everywhere.
8:50 - Catch rabbit, gets put back into cage in MAJOR disgrace. Start swearing under my breath, wondering what the hell happened to my perfect, relaxing night as I drag out the vacuum cleaner.
9:05 - Finish vacuuming the lounge, put vacuum cleaner away.
9:15 - Run bath.
9:25 - Sit in bath for 15 minutes, unable to relax because I can't stop thinking about my plan, and what the hell happened??? I had a plan!!
9:40 - Get out, get into pjs and sit down to blog.

Yeah ... Things didn't go exactly the way I planned ...