So, I'm now home, at my place, all alone. And I'm actually ... ok. Yeah.
Been a rough few days. Yesterday I just packed up and decided to go home to mum and dad's. I think it was the best thing to do.
This morning, mum, my brothers girlfriend, my nephew and I packed up to bring me home :o) We did a bit of shopping, then Jordyn started to get verrry cranky so I brought him back here (to my house) to have a nap while mum and Lorri did some shopping. Jordyn ended up going to sleep pretty much straight away, so I tidied up the house a little bit.
Mum, Lorri and Jordyn took off about 2, but not before mum had made me promise that I was to get on the next train home if things were getting too much, or I was getting too down. Damn, I love my mum! She also said to let her know if I need money, which I hopefully won't. I have a tiny bit saved up, and I'm selling a HEAP of dvds on e-bay, so hopefully that'll get me through the next few weeks, until I can either get another job, or apply for Newstart Allowence. I hate the thought of relying on Centrelink for money, but with Newstart the aim is to find a job. I'm thinking about looking for something part time - 25 or so hours a week. I don't know whether I'm ready to handle full time. Of course, who knows if I'll even be able to get another job ... Safeway certainly won't give me a reference. Oh well.
So, my plan for tomorrow ... The real estate agent is coming here to inspect the house at 10 tomorrow morning. I think after that I'll do the job hunting thing for a while, then about lunch time I'll head into centrelink to apply for Newstart.
I still feel slightly lost. It's hard to believe everything that has happened since last Friday. But knowing that my mum is now aware of how I'm *really* doing, and that she's supporting me (even though I never doubted that she would) makes me feel ... relieved? I'm not sure of the word I'm looking for here ... Something, anyway ...! Sooo specific. Mum has always said that she'd support us kids *NO MATTER WHAT*, but I guess I was just scared of worrying her, disappointing her. But I guess I forgot how strong and awesome she is ... The last couple of days have made me realise that. (And damn, I still can't think of the word that I want ...!)
I haven't heard from the counselling people, so I'm not sure what's going on there. I don't even have a number to ring them though, so there's not much that I can do. To be honest, the idea of talking to someone I barely know about what I'm thinking and feeling really doesn't interest me. I can barely tell the people who are *closest* to me how I'm feeling! I'm much more of a writer ... I'm not bothered by writing all this and posting it on here. When writing, I feel like I can express myself a lot easier than talking, I'm a lot more honest, and a lot less shy.
Anyway, it's barely even 8:30, but I think I'm going to get ready for bed! I slept in the spare room with my 2 year old nephew last night, and he went to bed at 9, (I went at 2 a.m.) so of course, he was ready for the day to start at 6:30 this morning! i woke up to Jordyn singing "eee-iiiiiii-eeee-iiiii-ooooo .... eeee-iiiii-eeeee-iii-ooooo" over and over! *lol* And as soon as he noticed that I was *awake* (well, my eyes were sort of open...!) he wanted to chat. And dance around the room. And climb all over me. And chat some more. And hide under his blanket so I could pull it off him and say *boo!* Ahh ... Damn, I love that kid. So, so much. There's nothing like a gorgeous kid to put a smile on your face!
Anyway, I'm off. **BYE!**