Friday, June 29, 2007

Movie/TV monologues ... Just cause.

Erin Brockovich

(Loud motorcycle noises cause Erin to leave her house, shouting)
Erin: Hey! Hey! HEY!
George: Hello.
Erin: What are you doing making all that goddamn noise?
George: Well, uh, I don't know. We were just introducing ourselves to the neighborhood, I guess.
Erin: Well, I'm the neighbors. There, we're introduced, so shut the fuck up. (walks away)
George: (chuckling) Hey, hey. Well, hold on there. Let's start over, okay? My name's George. What's yours?
Erin: Just think of me as the person next door who likes it quiet.
George: Hey, come on. Don't be like that. Hell, we live next door to each other. I feel bad. I feel terrible. I'm sorry. Will you accept my apology? I mean, hell, we're living right next door to each other. If you need a cup of sugar --
Erin: I don't need sugar.
George: You don't need any sugar. Well, why don't I take you out to dinner to apologize for my rudeness? Huh? You give me your number. I mean, I already got your address so you can't get away. Huh? I'll call you up proper and I'll ask you out and everything.
Erin:(scoffs) You want my number?
George: I do. I do want your number.
Erin: Which number do you want -- George?
George: George. Now I like the way you say that, "George." Uh, well, how many numbers you got?
Erin: Oh, I've got numbers coming out of my ears. For instance, ten.
George: Ten?
Erin: Yeah. That's how many months old my baby girl is.
George: You've got a little girl?
Erin: Yeah. Sexy, huh? How about this for a number: six. That's how old my other daughter is. Eight is the age of my son. Two is how many times I've been married and divorced. Sixteen is the number of dollars I have in my bank account. 850-3943. That's my phone number, and with all the numbers I gave you, I'm guessing zero is the number of times you're going to call it. (turns and goes back into the house)
George: Hey, how the hell do you remember your bank balance off the top of your head like that? Y'see, that impresses me.
(she slams the door behind her)
George: You're dead wrong about that zero thing, baby.
(George walks a few steps, kneels and falls forward onto his face onto the grass lawn, clearly impressed.)


Good Will Hunting
written by Matt Damon & Ben Affleck

Will: Yeah, I went on a date last week.
Sean: How'd it go?Will: It was good.
Sean: Going out again?
Will: I don't know.
Sean: Why not?
Will: Haven't called her.
Sean: Christ, you're an amateur.
Will: I know what I'm doing.
Sean: Yeah.
Will: Yeah. Don't worry about me. I know what I'm doin'. Yeah, but this girl is like, you know, beautiful. She's smart. She's funny. She's different from most of the other girls I've been with.
Sean: So, call her up, Romeo.
Will: Why? So I can realize she's not that smart, that she's fuckin' boring? Y'know--I mean...this girl is like fuckin' perfect right now, I don't wanna ruin that.
Sean: Maybe you're perfect right now. Maybe you don't want to ruin that. I think that's a super philosophy, Will. That way you can go through your entire life without ever having to really know anybody. My wife used to fart when she was nervous. She had all sorts of wonderful idiosyncrasies. You know what? She used to fart in her sleep. Sorry I shared that with you. One night it was so loud it woke the dog up. She woke up and gone like "oh was that you?" I'd say yeah...I didn't have the heart to tell her...Oh God...[laughing]
Will: She woke herself up?
Sean: Yesssss. Oh Christ....aahhh, but, Will, she's been dead two years and that's the shit I remember. Wonderful stuff, you know, little things like that. Ah, but, those are the things I miss the most. The little idiosyncrasies that only I knew about. That's what made her my wife. Oh, and she had the goods on me, too, she knew all my little peccadillos. People call these things imperfections, but they're not, aw, that's the good stuff. And then we get to choose who we let in to our weird little worlds. You're not perfect, sport. And let me save you the suspense. This girl you met, she isn't perfect either. But the question is: whether or not you're perfect for each other. That's the whole deal. That's what intimacy is all about. Now you can know everything in the world, sport, but the only way you're findin' out that one is by givin' it a shot. You certainly won't learn from an old fucker like me. Even if I did know, I wouldn't tell a piss ant like you.
[Will smiles]
Will: Why not? You told me every other fuckin' thing. Jesus Christ. You talk more than any shrink I ever met.
[Sean laughs]
Sean: I teach this shit, I didn't say I knew how to do it.
Will: ever think about gettin' remarried?
Sean: My wife's dead.
Will: Hence, the word remarried.
Sean: My wife's dead.
Will: Yeah.. Well, I think that's a super philosophy, Sean. I mean that way you could actually go through the rest of your life without ever really knowing anybody.
[A pause. Sean smiles ironically.]
Sean: Time's up.


Good Will Hunting

Will: Well, I can't go to California with you.
Skylar: Why not?
Will: Well, one, because I--I got a job here, and two, because I live here.
Skylar: Look, um..If you don't love me, you should tell me because it's such a--
Will: I'm not saying I don't love you.
Skylar: Then why? Why won't you come? What are you so scared of?
Will: What am I so scared of?
Skylar: Well, what aren't you scared of? You live in this safe little world where no one challenges you and you're scared shitless to do anything else but defend yourself because that would mean you'd hafta' change.
Will: Oh no. Don't, don't, don't tell me about my world. Don't tell me about my world! I mean you just wanna have you fling with like the guy from the other side of town. Then you're going to go off to Stanford, you're going to marry some rich prick who your parents will approve of and just sit around with the other trust fund babies and talk about how you went slumming too, once.
Skylar: Why are you saying this? What is your obsession with this money? My father died when I was 13 and I inherited this money. Nearly every day I wake up, and I wish that I could give it back, that I would give it back in a second if it meant I could have one more day with him, but I can't and that's my life and I deal with it. So don't put your shit on me, when you're the one that's afraid.
Will: I'm afraid? Wh--wh--what am I afraid of, huh? What the fuck am I afraid of?
Skylar: You're afraid of me. You're afraid that I won't love you back. And you know what? I'm afraid too. Fuck it. I want to give it a shot and at least I'm honest with you.


The Wedding Singer
written by Tim Herlihy

Robbie Hart: You guys are off to a great start, don't you think? I mean, Cindy showed up, so right away, Scott, you gotta be pretty psyched, right? (a man interupts and Robbie glares ferociously at him) Well, I have a microphone, and you don't. SO YOU WILL LISTEN TO EVERY DAMN WORD I HAVE TO SAY!... You know, some of us will never, ever find true love, like, take for instance... me. And I'm pretty sure that guy right over there. And the lady with the sideburns. And basically every at table nine. But the worst part of all is that me, fatty, sideburns lady, and the mutants over at table nine will never, ever find a way to better the situation, because... apparently we have nothing to offer the opposite sex. (the man interupts again and Robbie again turns on him) Sir, one more outburst, I will strangle you with my microphone wire, do you understand me? Now let's cut the stupid cake 'cause I know the fat guy's gonna have a heart attack if we don't eat again soon. And while we're doing that, here's a little mood music for you.


While You Were Sleeping
written by Fred Lebow & Daniel Sullivan

Lucy: Okay, there are two things that I remember about my childhood. I just don't remember it being this orange. First, I remember being with my dad. He would get these far off looks in his eyes and he would say, 'life doesn't always turn out the way you planned." I just wish I had realized he was talking about my life. But that never stopped us from taking our adventures together. He would pack up our sometimes working car and tell me amazing stories about strange and exotic lands as we headed off to exciting destinations like Milwaukee. It's amazing how exotic Wisconsin.....isn't But my favorite memories are the stories that he'd tell me about my mom. He would take me to the church where they got married and I'd beg him to tell me more about the ceremony and about my crazy uncle Irwin who fell asleep in the macaroni and cheese, and I'd ask my dad when he knew he truly loved my mom and he'd say, "Lucy, your mother gave me a special gift. She gave me the world." Actually, it was a globe with a light in it but for the romantic that he was, he might have been the world. Well, the first time that I saw him he didn't exactly give me the world. It was a dollar fifty for a train token. I looked forward to it every single day. He started coming to my booth between 8:01 and 8:15 every morning, Monday through Friday. And he was prince charming. We've never actually spoken, but I know someday that we will. I know it. I know that someday I will find a way to introduce myself and that's going to be perfect, just like my prince.

Lucy: I bet you were wondering what I'm doing here in the middle of the night. Well, I thought I should introduce myself. My name is Lucy. Lucy Elenore Moderatz. Umm......I think you should know that your family thinks we're engaged. I've never been engaged before. This is very sudden for me. Umm, what I really came here to tell was that I didn't mean for this to happen. I don't know what to do. If you were awake, I wouldn't be in this mess. Oh God, not that I'm blaming you. I'm sorry. It's just that when I was a kid, I always imagined what I would be like or what I would have when I got older. And you know, it was normal stuff. I'd have a house and a family and things like that. It's not that I'm complaining or anything, because I do have a cat. I have an apartment. I have a sole possession of a remote control. That's very important. It's just that I've never met anybody that I could laugh with. Do you believe in love at first site? I bet you don't. You're probably too sensible for that. Or have you ever seen somebody and you know, that if that person really knew you, they'd dump the perfect model that they were with and realize that you were the one that they wanted to grow old with? Have you ever fallen in love with somebody that you haven't even talked to? Have you ever been so alone that you spend the night confusing a man in a coma?


Dawsons Creek
from the TV series created by Kevin Williamson

[Pacey stands up and walks towards Mr. Peterson, an unfair and abusive English teacher]
Mr. Peterson: Mr. Witter, I suggest you sit down.
Pacey: No.
Mr. Peterson: SIT DOWN!
Pacey: You want somebody to read the poem. I'll read it. "Today"......"Today was a day the world got smaller. Darker. I grew more afraid. Not of what I am but of what I could be.
Mr.Peterson: I SAID STOP!!!!
[He grabs the paper away from Pacey.]
Mr. Peterson: You will listen to me when I talk to you, young man.
Pacey: Why should I?
Mr. Peterson: Well, that's it. I am writing you a pass and you can report immediately to Principal Markom's office.
Pacey: What part of you is it that gets off on torturing students? Everyone in this class may be afraid of you, but I'm not! I see your miserable scare tactics for exactly what they are, the misguided lassions of a bitter, lonely old man who only feels good when somebody in the class feels worse.
Mr. Peterson: Thank you for the analysis, Mr. Witter. I'll send a check along with the 'F' you'll get on your report card.
Pacey: You can't fail me! I've gotten a 'B' or better on every test we've had in this class.
Mr. Peterson: Well, I can. I've been waiting to fail you all quarter.
Pacey: You disgust me.
Mr. Peterson: And you, Mr. Witter, are a failure. Destined to always be a failure. Trying to teach people like you is like spitting in the face of the entire educational system.
[Pacey spits in Mr.Peterson's face.]
Pacey: No, sir. That is spitting in the face of the entire educational system.

AND THE CONSEQUENCES OF HIS ACTIONS, LATER (in front of the teacher, his adviser and the principal)......
Pacey: I should start my saying that I'm more ashamed for what I did in that classroom yesterday than anything I have done in my life. It was dead wrong and I have no case here and I'm sorry. However, I am not now, nor will I ever be, apolegetic for it's intention. Everyday we, the students of Capeside, come to a place where you guys are in charge. You tell us when to arrive, and when to leave, and when to move rooms, and when to eat. You tell us when we're doing well and when we need to be doing better and we never, ever question it because we're afraid to. To question it is to go against the belief that the entire system is built upon. The belief that you guys know what's right. And I'm not afraid to tell you that what happened in that classroom was not right. To make a student cry, to embarrass him, to strip him of his dignity in front of his classmates, is not right. And while I do respect the system, I do NOT respect men like you, Mr. Peterson, I don't. I can't. And I never will. Not after what you did. You have a good afternoon.


Dawson's Creek
from the TV series created by Kevin Williamson

Jen: When you see Belinda and her clique in the hallway, you're desperately wishing that you were walking with them, aren't you? And thinking that maybe if you were wearing the right shoes, sporting the latest hairstyle, and using the hottest shade of lip gloss, then maybe they would toss a glance in your direction.
Ever wonder why they force their narrow-minded opinions down our throats?
Perhaps it's because they have an inkling of what the future has in store for them beyond graduation.
Cut to 25 years from now, Belinda McGovern wakes up one morning feeling empty. Maybe it's because her Dartmouth-educated lawyer husband Tad has run off to Tijuana with her daughter's roommate from boarding school. Or maybe it's because the twins, Timmy and Tommy, call her by her first name and their live-in housekeeper "Mom." Or maybe it's Belinda's daily 2:00, 5:00, 7:00, and 9:15 showdown with her bottle of Prozac. Her life has become a domestic wasteland. Avoid this fate.
Don't let yourself become another cookie-cutter blonde, size 4, rah-rah-sis-bam-boom, mindless, soulless, spineless wench. Screw these auditions, screw cheerleading, and screw Belinda McGovern.


Dawson's Creek

Joey: [voice over] And now that this scared little girl no longer follows me wherever I go, I miss her. I do.
'Cause there are things I wanna tell her-- to relax, to lighten up, that it is all going to be ok. I want her to know that meeting people who like you, who understand you, who actually accept you for who you are, will become an increasingly rare occurrence. Jen, Jack, Audrey, Andie, Pacey, and Dawson. These people who contributed to who I am, they are with me wherever I go, and as history gets rewritten in small ways with each passing day, my love for them only grows. Because the truth is... it was the best of times.
Mistakes were made, hearts were broken, harsh lessons learned, but all of that has receded into fond memory now.
How does it happen? Why are we so quick to forget the bad and romanticize the good?
Maybe it's because we need to believe that the time we spent together actually meant something, that we were there for each other in a time in our lives that defined us all, a time in our lives that we will never forget. I can't swear this is exactly how it happened.
But this is how it felt.


from the TV show created by Bill Lawrence

Dr. Cox (John C. McGinley): Relationships don't work the way they do on television and in the movies: Will they, won't they, and then they finally do and they're happy forever -- gimme a break.
Nine out of ten of them end because they weren't right for each other to begin with, and half the ones that get married get divorced, anyway. And I'm telling you right now, through all this stuff, I have not become a cynic, I haven't.
Yes, I do happen to believe that love is mainly about pushing chocolate-covered candies and, you know, in some cultures, a chicken. You can call me a sucker, I don't care, 'cause I do...believe in it.
Bottom the couples that are truly right for each other wade through the same crap as everybody else, but, the big difference is, they don't let it take 'em down.

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