With or without you - U2

See the stone set in your eyes
See the thorn twist in your side
I wait for you
Sleight of hand and twist of fate
On a bed of nails she makes me wait
And I wait without you

With or without you
With or without you

Through the storm we reach the shore
You give it all but I want more
And I'm waiting for you

With or without you
With or without you
I can't live
With or without you

And you give yourself away
And you give yourself away
And you give
And you give
And you give yourself away

My hands are tied
My body bruised, she's got me with
Nothing to win and
Nothing left to lose

And you give yourself away
And you give yourself away
And you give
And you give
And you give yourself away
With or without you
With or without you

I can't live
With or without you
With or without you
With or without you

I can't live
With or without you
With or without you

AFL Round 5

21 points up in the last quarter ...

AND WE LOST??!

How is that even possible? I still can't believe it! WE HAD A 21 POINT LEAD!

Oh. Dear.

Cool quote :-)

“If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude. - Don't complain.”

- Maya Angelou

So, it's almost 4 a.m., and I'm up because I can't sleep. Because I can't breathe.

You know, this is becoming a pattern.

A pattern that I don't like. At all.

Helpful advice, my arse.

So, today (well, yesterday actually. Yesterday morning), Christine and I took a trip to Bunnings. Now, having a dad who's more than willing to do all that stuff that needs doing around my house means that I've never really needed Bunnings (or any hardware store) for any reason at all. But yesterday morning, Christine got up to discover that Jersey, her 8 month old puppy, who has, for the last 6 months been digging holes all over her back yard, had finally managed to dig his way under the fence, into the neighbours yard. Hahahaha! What a little bugger.

So we went to Bunnings, to get some wood, or some wire mesh, or something that would stop this from happening again.

It was interesting. And hilarious.


Me: Ooh, I'll ask that guy there for advice.
Christine: It does say on their ads they have lots of helpful advice!
Me: Excuse me. I was wondering if you could help us. We've got a problem with a dog, who's digging underneath a fence, getting out, and we need to put something there to stop him. What would be the best way to go about it?
Sales guy: I don't know anything about dogs. (Turns back to his work)
Me: Oook. Thanks anyway.
(As we're walking off)
Sales guy: Oh wait. I did hear of a friend. You probably won't like it, but he put barbed wire in the dirt all around the fence. The mutt shredded his feet when he tried to dig.
Me: Uh ... Thanks! We'll give that some thought.

(As soon as we walk away)
Christine: I wonder if his "friend" is now in jail.
Me: Helpful advice, my arse.

About 20 minutes later, we'd decided on a two-stage attack plan. A long plank of wood to put in front of the fence, and some square iron thingies (is it obvious I don't know how the hell to describe them?!) to put in front of the fence where the wood wouldn't reach. So, we decide that as soon as we get a shovel, we'll be out of there. Turns out the shovels are in the same isle as the mailboxes (some of which are FREAKING MASSIVE!), which leads to this brainwave from yours truly.

Me: (Laughing hysterically) Why not just buy a mailbox and stick him in there when you're not at home?
Christine: What is WRONG with you?!
Me: Problem solved (still laughing at my brilliance).
Christine: Oh ... My ... God ...
Me: You know, I think I may have been dropped on my head as a baby.
Christine: We could put barbed wire on the outside of the mailbox, he'd never get out!
(Then we both start laughing because we have the same dorky sense of humour and find each other hilarious!)

So, all in all ... A productive trip to Bunnings :-)

I cannot believe it's 3:15 a.m. and I'm awake. I am soooo tired. I haven't slept a lot the last couple of nights. I died about 11:30 tonight, then woke up an hour ago, having big trouble breathing. As soon as I'd been sitting upright for a few minutes, it got a lot easier to breathe, so I don't know what's going on there. You know, this breathing thing aint as easy as it looks ... :-)

Anyway, I might try and get some sleep. If this doesn't stop I'll have to go to the doctors AGAIN. Grr. Ok, I'm out :-)

Life's not about what's better than ...

Waiting ...

Tonight, I am tired, but I cannot sleep.

I am waiting.

On my bed, with my phone clutched in my hand.

I am waiting.

Every sound, every movement in the night, every creak, makes my eyes fly open and my heart stop for a second.

I am waiting.

Waiting ...

AFL, Round 4.

When things like this happen ...

It breaks your heart a little.
It makes you wonder why? Why? WHY??

It's just so unfair. So unfair ...

How could Collingwood lose to Carlton? CARLTON??

Stupid technology

Man, I'm tired.

Yesterday, I worked. Woo hoo, give me a medal. *lol* Sorry, I'm just amusing myself.

Anyway, mum and dad came down to Bendigo for the day, to look at doors, and go car browsing. They ended up buying mum a new computer. Not because there's anything really wrong with hers, but she just thought it was time for a new computer.

So, last night after work I headed up to mum and dads. I spent hours last night setting up the computer, and transferring all her photos and family history stuff onto the new computer. Surely there's a quicker, easier way to do it ... Too bad I don't know it.

So, as my piece-of-crap-i-think-it-is-possessed-and-it-hates-me-laptop has been playing up lately, I inherited mums old computer. I've just spent ages getting the broadband connection sorted out ... Man, was that confusing. I had to dig out the CD I got when I first connected to Telstra. And then my modem - which has obviously been chewed by A RABBIT, who shall remain nameless, thank you very much BUCKLEY B. BUNNY - decided it didn't want to work. And, as it turns out, you can't connect to the internet without a modem. Who knew?

So, now I've got to move all my photos and stuff onto this computer, as well as install iTunes. Because there's no way in hell I'm goin without my podcasts and music! :-)

Anyway. I've got to go do some stuff, and then I'm going to have a very quiet night on the couch. I'm freaking exhausted.

Peace out.

AFL, Round 3.

Two Words:


GO PIES!!!!!!

The girl who cried 'Unemployment'

So, I feel a little like the girl who cried wolf.

I think I've said about three times that I'm unemployed. In my defence, I did honestly believe that I was going to be unemployed. I'm still working at the cafe, but ... We're out at the end of the month.

I've actually known this for about a week. I just didn't say anything, because hello, look at my record! But it seems this time it's actually going to happen. Come May 1st, I will be unemployed.

Last week, my boss made the decision that she didn't want to move the kiosk into the new shop. The kiosk which no longer exists. It's actually been pulled to bits, and has been sitting in the closed shop, just waiting to be re-assembled and put to work again. We were going to move out of the cafe, and merge the kiosk and the cafe into a new shop.

However, because of all the trouble Nick (the owner of the centre) has caused, and the fact that my boss is in so much debt, and lets not forget that she is miserable out at the Market Centre, she has decided not to re-open.

I still thought that she might have changed her mind, so still I said nothing. But on Saturday, they started moving the kiosk stuff out of the new shop. Most of the stuff from our storeroom has been moved. All of the things (cups, saucers, utensils, cooking stuff etc.) we took into the cafe when we took it over are now gone.

Damn. This might actually be happening.

To be honest, I'm not that upset. I'm not really that happy out there either. I like the people I'm working with. I'm getting along with my boss ok. But the whole place is not doing very well, and it's pretty damn depressing. I hate going to work. We have about 5 empty shops out there, which doesn't seem like a lot, but it's not a big centre and that's about a third of the shops out there. Later this month, another shop is closing, and one of the shops there is cutting in half.

My boss has said she wants to re-open the business. She just doesn't know where and when.

So I'm applying for jobs.

I would love to stay with the business, but I can't sit around and wait indefinitely for her to re-open.

I've actually been applying for jobs here and there the whole time. Just trying to keep my options open. But now, it steps up a notch. I have done the unemployed thing. Don't really want to go there again.

Anyway. I'm gonna head to bed. It's late, and I worked today, so I'm tired.

Peace out.

Blood tests and whatnot.

I never know how to start these entries ...

Anyway. How are we all? Good? Good.

My attack of the grumps seems to have been cured. Actually, it turns out it wasn't so much grumps as it was ... Pneumonia.

I ended up at the doctors the other day (after a few nights and days of struggling to breathe, headaches, tiredness and crankiness). I have PERFECT blood pressure, thank you very much! I am so proud of that! And maybe I need to get a life, but hey! I have PERFECT blood pressure.

What's not so great is my lungs, my rapid pulse and the whole infection thing I've got going on.

But, HELLO? PERFECT blood pressure!

Anyway, my doctor ordered a blood test, just to make sure that there was nothing else going on.

I think I may have written a sentence or two before about how much I freaking hate needles and whatnot before.

In case I haven't, or in case you haven't read those entries, let me make it very, very clear:

I HATE needles.

They FREAK me out.

Just the THOUGHT of having to get a needle will make me panic.

Actually, I had pneumonia a couple of years ago. I was gently persuaded (they say they pretty much dragged me ... Eh. Whatever. Potato/Puhtato ...) to go to the hospital one night. The nurse hooked me up to the little heartrate monitor thingy (yes, that's the technical term for it) and told me that she was going to give me a needle for somethingorother. My heartrate went up so high she actually got the doctor because she was worried. I then had to explain that there wasn't anything wrong with my heart, I was just shit-scared because she'd mentioned the "N" word.

Um ... Where was I? Oh. Needles. Hate them.

(Yes, I am a wuss. A chicken. A scaredy-cat. Deal with it. I have.)

Anyway, so as soon as the doctor said "blood test", I started freaking. I should have done it first thing this morning, but I just couldn't bring myself to get in the car and go to the pathology place. Then, when I finally got there, I found that they were closed for lunch. For two hours.

So I went back home, freaked out for another couple of hours. Finally went back, and wow, what luck! They could fit me in right away! How lucky am I! I was just sooooo pleased!

Then, the fun began. Apparently, I might have PERFECT blood pressure (hehehe), but I have TERRIBLE veins. The poor nurse spent almost 10 minutes trying to find a vein. Found one, stuck the needle in ...

Oops, blew it.

Nurse: "Bugger! I was just a bees-sting away from where I needed to be then!"
Me: Quietly hyper-ventiliating.

So, she tried again.

This time, even the vein she had had disappeared, and none of my veins wanted to come out. I'm clenching my fist, shaking my arm, putting my hands in warm water ... Everything.

Finally, she finds one! Woo hoo! Let's go and get this over with!

Oops ... Blew it.

What are you kidding me??!

So, we try again. My veins are, if possible, even MORE reluctant to show themselves, and again, it takes some time for the nurse to find one.

I cannot even tell you the REFLIEF that I feel when I hear her say "Got ya! Ha! It's ok, this time we're in business".

For something that should have taken 10, 15 minutes tops, it was 45 minutes after I walked in that I finally RAN out!

So help me god, if that test shows NOTHING, I will be choking my doctor! Now won't that be fun!

Bizarre. Freaky. Weird. Disturbing.

What people have typed into search engines ... And then ended up at this blog:

- what would cause you to pee when you vomit - Um ... what the? Weird.

- spot on my stomach - Could you be any vaguer?

- doctors appointment coldplay fix you blog - I swear to god. that's exactly what someone typed into a search engine to end up here. No words taken out or added.

- how to make yourself vomit everything - Well, that's just disturbing. And really sad.

- scrubs doctor cox and jordyn lose baby - Doctor Cox and Jordyn lose a baby on Scrubs? Are you kidding me?

- wangaratta safeway murder - There was a murder at Safeway in Wangaratta? Maybe I should look it up on the internet and find out what happened.

- why are parts of the ocean bluer than others - Well I have no freaking idea what that answer is.

Sorry about the language ...

Hi.

What's up?

I don't really have much to say.

I'm in a foul mood. I'm not really sure why.

Partly because I feel like crap. I've got the headache from hell. And I spent most of last night struggling to breathe. Don't know what's going on there.

I was almost late to work this morning. I was still awake at 5 a.m., so I got up and put my heater on, figuring that by the time I got up for work at 8, the house would be nice and toasty. I remember looking at the clock at 7:30 ... and THEN I must have fallen asleep. (I had all freaking night to sleep. I couldn't do it then?) I woke up and it was 9:10. I had to be at work at 10. It's been taking me like 25 - 30 minutes to drive to work, because all of a sudden they want to fix every freaking road in Bendigo, and there are three lots of roadworks on my way to work. But anyway, I made it.

Work was ok. I got home at 3:30, and pretty much went straight to bed. Got woken at 7 by my phone ringing. Took me a while to wake up and realise what it was. It was my sister, ringing to say hi. I think she guessed that I wasn't in the best mood, as we only spoke for about 15 minutes. Usually my sister will crap on for an hour or more. I would say talk, but she doesn't really talk. I love her, but she just craps on about not much at all. An average conversation with my sister lasts about 60 - 80 minutes. That's why I never ring unless I know I have at least an hour spare. Usually she'll tell me the same story at least three times in any conversation. She figured out that I'd just woken up, because I couldn't really think clearly enough to form words, so I didn't have much to say.

Anyway. I'm still pretty fucked, I don't know if I'm coming down with something or what, but I'm exhausted, so I think I might head back to bed. I was going to get something to eat, but I ate half a chocolate bunny before, so fuck it, I'm going to call that dinner and be done with it.

AFL - Round Two

Brisbane Lions:

Eat dirt and die, you cheating-faking-for-frees-scum-sucking-stupid-idiot-heads.

_________________________________________________________
Umpires:

Geez. I don't usually criticize you people, but fuck me. You got it WAY wrong tonight.

Get some impartiality. Could you have been any more obvious in the fact that you were FOR Brisbane winning tonight?

________________________________________________________

I can't believe we lost by TWO POINTS.

TWO-FREAKING-POINTS.

Would you believe me if I said I'm tired of this ...

It's been ... an interesting few days.

Bear with me here, as my thoughts are really all over the place.

I'm not sure if I've blogged about this yet, (and I'm too damn lazy to look ... Give me a break, it's late) but my brother, otherwise known on this blog as the f***wit, has decided to move his family to Alice Springs.

Alice Springs.

The middle of the freaking country, thousands of kilometres from us.

I don't care that he's gone. Good riddance to him.

All I care about is my nephew. My little man.

I went home to mum and dads on Sunday, as I didn't end up working. I surprised them for Easter. On Sunday night, mum rang my brothers girlfriend, to say Happy Easter and whatnot. I could honestly barely bring myself to speak to her.

In the past, I have done everything I could to help her, and my little man. I've been there for them. When all the stuff with the f***wit happened last year, I went and stayed with them for a week. They've been to stay with me. I've done all I could. Money. An ear to listen. A shoulder to cry on. Someone to help clean the house. A friend. I don't know what more I could do. And still, she went back to the f***wit.

Knowing full well what he was, what he'd done to their son, how he'd hurt my little man, how he'd hurt her, how he'd torn our family apart.

She went back to him.

And now, she's allowing him to move them to the middle of the goddamn country.

It just ... Defies common sense.

Moving thousands of kilometres away from your support system? Where you know no-one, and no-one knows you?

I've been doing some research in the last couple of days. Australia doesn't have a nation-wide child protection service. Each state/territory has it's own Department of Human Services/Department of Children Services, but there's nothing nation wide. If an abused child is moved from one state to another, unless someone does some searching and looks into it, that child will fall between the cracks in the system. How much does that suck? How many children are out there, falling through the cracks, continuing to be abused, because mum and dad packed up and moved because the Department of Human Services was onto them?

It's hard enough, knowing that they are a couple of hours away in Melbourne, not being able to be there, constantly watching, making sure everything is ok. It's always at the back of my mind ... What's going on? Is Jordyn ok? Has the f***wit hit him today? Is he getting enough to eat? Is my little man happy?

I don't understand why she's doing this. What part of her could possibly think that this is a GOOD idea?

It seems really obvious that her number one priority is not my little man. If she had his best interests at heart, if he was number one in her life, she would not be doing this. It is not the best thing for him.

Here we go again, one more time ...

So, I signed into blogger, and clicked on "New Post" ...

But I can't remember what I wanted to post about.

Oh well.

Before, I was looking at all my old high school yearbooks.

Mel was there, looking so young. It broke my heart. She'd already lived most of the years she had on earth. How is that fair?

Miss you, Mel.

Always.

Baby Smurf and Bug Eyes (A.K.A. My nieces)

Six Words

Challenge: Write your life in six words ... (I've had a few goes at this ...)

No plan. No dream. Still looking ...

Trying so hard, not getting there ...

Watching, waiting, hoping ... For the unknown.

Wondering who I am, still discovering.

Laughter always ... Even when it's dark.

Not yet happy ... Or complete.

Pity party/Rant over ... :-)

Today, I am not so tired ... :-)

I worked for two hours today. It was meant to be five, but I was feeling like crap, so I got sent home early. A few hours in bed, and I'm feeling much better. I do have tomorrow off work as well. I told my boss I wouldn't need it, I'd be fine by tomorrow, but she insisted. I haven't said a lot to her lately about how bad my back has been - because it's been so hot I've been unable to walk, and that's really made things worse - and I think she's feeling guilty. Which is ridiculous, it was my choice not to say anything, she's got enough to worry about. I think we'll be sitting down for another serious chat sometime in the next few days.

*

Onto other things ...
Saturday night, I defrosted my freezer. Usually my freezer is pretty full, but I've been using everything in there to empty it, defrost it and then restock it. I did find some crumpets that I know have been there since the START of last year! There wasn't much else left. So, anyway, this morning I had to go shopping. I expected to spend about $150 to fill the freezer, and my fridge. That usually does me for about 3 - 4 weeks, with plenty left in the freezer. However, that was not what happened today. Wanna know what I actually spent?

Two hundred and fifty eight dollars and twenty one cents.

Yep. $258.21

I live alone. That is food for ONE person! I won't have to shop for about a month and a half though, so I guess it's not too bad. I also stocked up on rabbit food, and got a 5 kilo thing of birdseed. I got enough cleaning stuff for a month and a half, and I even got me some hot cross buns!

*

It's been 172 days since ...
Tomorrow ...
Know what I'm talking about?
FOOTY COMES BACK TOMORROW!
It's been 172 days since Geelong and Port played the last game of the season.
Tomorrow, the 2008 season starts with those silly Blues playing Richmond, and Geelong playing Port. The Pies play Freo on Saturday to start of their year ...

GO PIES!

*

I went to Echuca yesterday, to see the MM. It didn't hurt as much as last time, and while I am sore today, I'm not as sore as I was last time. So I guess my back is improving, even though it doesn't feel like it some days. I had a good time over there, did some shopping, got a couple of presents for some friends - which of course I won't give them yet *ahem* - made it to my appointment 15 minutes early ... Only to realise I'd forgotten to go to an ATM to get some money out. The MM doesn't have EFTPOS, so I had to jump into my car and go looking for an ATM. I had 15 minutes, I wasn't that far from the city centre, all I had to do was grab some money and get back to the MM in 15 minutes. Easy, huh?

I got lost.

And it wasn't a little bit lost. I took a wrong turn, ended up in some kind of maze of streets (could only turn one way at each corner), and couldn't find my way out onto the main road.

By the time I made it back for my appointment I was almost 25 minutes late. Luckily, the MM was running late as well, so I didn't cause any problems. Next time I'll be making sure I have money in my bag before I leave Bendigo.

*

Anyway, I better get going. Oh, if you want a laugh, check out this post over at Overflowing Brain. It's pretty cool. And I love the way Katie talks about an "occupation"! I've also been reading http://www.iprettymuchhateeverything.com/ because that's damn funny (and sometimes heartbreaking!) as well. Ok, well I'm out. Peace, love and laughter.

Tonight, I am tired.

I am tired of the constant, always-frigging-there back pain.

I am tired of the unending headaches.

I am tired of trying something new, getting my hopes up, only to realise that it's not working, nothing is working, why the hell isn't something working?

I am tired of taking painkillers to get through every single day.

I am tired of getting home from 4 hours at work, utterly exhausted, feeling like I've worked 9 hours.

I am tired of feeling old. I am 24.

I am tired of being tired, all the time. I'm always tired. Even after a full nights sleep, I'm still so tired.

I am tired of the nerve pain in my legs, arms, and neck.

Tonight, I am tired.

Hot enough for ya?

Like everyone else in this great state, I have become obsessed with weather. 40 times a day I hear variations of "How's the weather!"/"Hot enough for you?!"/"I thought summer was finished!" We are still in the middle of a heatwave, but it's meant to cool down by Wednesday. My god, I hope it does! For the last 5 days we've had temps of at least 37. Friday we hit 40. Please make it stop!

I've been working in the cafe for the last few days - I've been doing 4 hour shifts daily since Thursday. It's been good, fairly busy, which has meant I've picked up most things in only a few days. It's HOT in the kitchen though, as we have no airconditioning. It's been at least 39 degrees in the kitchen of the cafe every afternoon since Thursday. Yesterday I finished work and it was actually cooler outside than in the cafe - 38 outside, 41 in the cafe kitchen!

Because it's been so hot, I've been picking up Christine's dog when I finish work, and bringing him back to my place, since she's been working afternoon/evening shifts. In three nights he managed to pee on my vacuum cleaner, destroy my sunglasses, rip a hole in my doona cover, eat a Tupperware container, and rip apart a book. Good work, Destructo!

Anyway. I've got some more I want to write, but I can't really be stuffed, so I might take off and do it another time. Peace out, guys.

Meme # ... Umm, I forget.

Rules:

1) You must post the rules on your post before you answer the questions.

2) You need to list one fact about yourself using each letter of your middle name. If you don’t have a middle name use your maiden name instead.


M - Margaret - My middle name. I hate it. It's the same as my mum's, and I get the family thing ... But I still hate it.

A - Art. I love art. I can't draw for shit, but I love looking at art on the internet/in books. I love going to Melbourne and seeing the graffiti. I like big, bold and bright.

R - Reading. I'm always reading something - whether it's something that I've never read before, or a book from my bookcase that I've read a dozen times.

G - Good-humoured. Most of the time I can find something to laugh about, no matter what the situation.

A - Anxiety. Sometimes I'll wake up in the middle of the night, so worried and filled with anxiety that I can't breathe, and I have to force myself to calm down.

R - Real. I now refuse to hide my emotions. What you see is what I feel. I refuse to pretend in case I upset someone else.

E - Exhausted. I love getting into bed, utterly exhausted. It means I'll sleep all night.

T - Time. I often lose track of time when I'm reading or playing the flute, or just hanging with friends.

Unless the lonely star should fall ...

I'm sick of summer.

It's MARCH, and we're in the middle of a heatwave here in Country Vic. For the last week, I think the coolest day we've had is about 34 degrees. And it's going to continue. By Thursday we'll be back up to 39 apparently. Oh, the fun.

Today I'm driving up to mum and dads to see mum for her birthday, and it's meant to get to 38 there. Something tells me I'll be leaving early and getting home early. And I'll be putting the split system on before I leave so I get home to a nice, cool house. Can I just say, I freaking LOVE that thing! It works sooo well, the other night it was 35 degrees outside, and I had to go for a walk because it was TOO COLD in my house! Hahaha. How great is that!

Um ... What else has been going on. Well, the kiosk is closed. We are moving into a new shop, but that's going to take a while. I don't even know how long, exactly. I don't think my boss even knows. In the meantime, I have a few hours in the cafe this week, because until we move into the shop, my boss is keeping the cafe. It's not many (I think I have like two three hour shifts) but it's better than nothing. In the meantime, I'm still looking for something else, because I can't live on only a few hours a week. Especially since it could take months to get all this stuff sorted out.

So, I've been enjoying a few days off. I was meant to have Sunday off, but had to work because Ash was sick. I had Monday off, but ended up going in for a while, because I knew my boss was finishing the kiosk pack up. It was friggin hot on Monday, and I figured if I went out to help we'd get it done faster. I ended up staying a couple of hours, and I came home with two pineapples, a garbage bag filled with apples, a bag of oranges, and a few containers of icecream. All stuff that from the kiosk that we won't use in the cafe. I spent Monday afternoon juicing the oranges, apples and pineapples. Fresh juice is freaking delicious.

Today I haven't done much. I got up early and walked over to Chrissie's, and hitched a ride home when she went to Coles because it was too hot to walk home. I slept all afternoon. Then I got up, and walked over to Chrissie's again, and this time I actually walked home. It was 8:30 when I walked through the city on my way home, and it was cooling down nicely (it was down to 29 degrees). Got home, cooked myself a delicious dinner of honey soy chicken and rice, ate two bites, and ... Spilt the rest all over my lounge room floor. Man, was I pissed. So then I did a bit of cleaning, let Buckley out of his cage and hung out with him, chilling on my bed. Nice and relaxing.

And right now, it's 1:35 a.m. and I can't sleep. Maybe because I slept all afternoon?!

I am starting to get tired though. OH! Before I forget, a BIG CONGRATULATIONS to B and Michael, who got engaged at the Elmore BnS on Saturday night. I so wanted to be there! Congratulations, guys! You both rock.

Anyway, I better take off. Peace out, guys.

Haven't you heard? I'm a supermodel.

It's been a big week.



Let's start with the good stuff.



I have no magnets left on my fridge.
There are potatoes hidden all over my house.
There are tiny fingerprints all over my television cabinet.
My spare room has toys all over the floor.



There's been a kid in my house.



Amanda and Paul (who had been staying at mum and dads) arrived on Wednesday, and headed home to Melbourne on Thursday. I had heaps of fun hanging out with my midget, little Bug Eyes. She's a bit over two and a half now, and she's at a great age. She's so switched on all the time. You have to be careful what you say around her, because she will repeat it! She's such a smart kid. I think Amanda's enrolling her in pre-kinder later this year, I'm sure she'll love every minute of it. Buckley met Amber, he wasn't too impressed, but she loved patting Buckley and chasing him around the bed.



Baby Smurf is Bug Eyes the second! She's so much like Amber as a baby. She has darker hair, but her eyes are the same. She loves to smile, and has just discovered her thumbs. She had great fun (and sometimes great difficulty) getting her thumb into her mouth. She's actually started to suck her thumb as she sleeps at night. It's really cute.



Umm, what else happened this week ...



Well, as my brief post last night said, as of Tuesday I no longer have a job. The kiosk is closing, so I'm unemployed. Today I had to start packing stuff up, it was a bit sadder than I thought it would be. It's not a total suprise, but it doesn't make it any easier. I still don't really know what to think about all this, so I'm just going to move on now...



Christine had to stab me with a needle again the other night. Boy, that was just oodles of fun. Last time, she did it in my arm, into the muscle, and it not only bled for almost 15 minutes, it also bruised really well, and made my arm ache for a few days afterward (whinge, whinge, whinge ...!). This time, she'd talked to a couple of older/senior nurses at work, and researched it on the internet, and found that she could actually do the injection "sub-cut", which (basically) means into the fat on my body. So, she stabbed me in the stomach. It didn't bleed at all, and because it was in the fat on my tummy, I didn't feel it, so I didn't freak out about the feeling of something metal in me (which is what usually makes me panic about needles). The whole thing was over in 10 seconds.

This morning, as I got out of the shower, I noticed a red spot on my stomach. Not huge, about the size of a twenty cent piece. Right above that was a little bruise, where the needle went in. I wasn't too worried, but Christine told me to message her if anything showed up where she gave me the injection. So I did. I wasn't worried - it didn't hurt, I felt fine, and there was nothing wrong with me ... But Christine freaked out a little. She went to the chemist, she rang the hospital and she went looking on the internet. What she found out was that apparently the drug (I'm not sure what it's called - it's something for hayfever/allergies) can kill fat cells if given the sub-cut way - which lead me to go "Hey! I'm gonna be a supermodel! It's gonna kill all my fat!" Then Christine had to spoil my fun and said that next time it'll be given into the muscle again (ouch) and that "You're already a supermodel, the world just doesn't see it!" ... To which I replied ... "What a bunch of BALONEY!" Hahaha.

So, anyway, Christine messaged me about 5 o'clock this afternoon, and I was out so I didn't get the message ... Which led her to panic, thinking that I was at the hospital or something, because of the needle she had given me, when in reality, I'd just gone out to get something to eat and left my phone at home. She turned up just before, had a look at my red spot, agreed with me that it was probably nothing, and calmed down. It's all good.



Anyway, I better get going. I've still got a job to go to(for another couple of days, anyway), and I'm working early tomorrow. I think I might have to work all day, as I've got a feeling Ash (who's got tonsilitis and laryngitis) might call in sick. The poor kid said she was right to work tonight, but I don't know how she'll be feeling tomorrow. She sounds horrible, and you can tell by looking at her that she doesn't feel great. Anyway. I'm out.

So, as of Tuesday, I'm unemployed.

I don't know what I'm going to do.

Bug Eyes and Baby Smurf (A.K.A. My nieces)

I'm at home, at my parents. My sister, her boyfriend and my nieces arrive tonight.

My back is aching, and my head is killing :-(

Anyway, tonight we got pizza for dinner. Two pieces left in the box, and my dad asked if we wanted it. When mum and I both said no ...

Dad: Well, a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do.

So, he ate it.

Hahaha.

Somebody found this blog by typing into Google the following words ...


Where do gorillas pee


.... Um ... That's a bit weird.

Pictures of you

Has anyone else seen the new TAC ads?

The ones with people who have lost their children/family members due to speeding drivers.

"I've been looking so long at these pictures of you, that i almost believe that they're real"

It makes me cry. Every time.


** I just found the lyrics to the song that's on the ad. It's called 'Pictures of you'. It was originally sung by The Cure. (Only the first 5 lines and the last verse are used in the ad though, I think.)


i've been looking so long at these pictures of you
that i almost belive that they're real
i've been living so long
with my pictures of you that
i almost believe that the pictures are all i can feel
remembering you standing quiet in the rain as
i ran to your heart to be near and we kissed as
the sky fell in holding you close how i always
held close in your fear remembering you
running soft through the night you were bigger
and brighter and whiter than the snow and you
screamed at the make-believe screamed at the
sky and you finally found all your courage to
let it all go

remembering you fallen into my arms crying
for the death of your heart you were stone
white so delicate lost in the cold you were
always so lost in the dark remembering you
how you used to be slow drowned you were
angels so much more than everything oh hold
for the last time then slip away quietly open
my eyes but i never see anything
if only i'd thought of the right words i could
have held on to your heart if only i'd thought of
the right words i wouldn't be breaking apart all
my pictures of you

Looking
So long at these pictures of you
but i
never hold on to your heart
looking so long for
the words to be true
but always just breaking
apart my pictures of you
there was nothing in the world that i ever
wanted more than to feel you deep in my heart
there was nothing in the world that i ever
wanted more than to never feel the breaking
apart
my pictures of you

Cheer up, Emo Kid.

So, I went to Echuca today.

To see the "Miracle Man" - the deep tissue/sports massage guy.

It was actually a good day. It was really fun, and relaxing.

Well, except for the FIVE times I got lost.

I ate lunch at the Port of Echuca. It was awesome. It was so relaxing, sitting on the banks of the Mighty Murray. No one was in a hurry, it was perfect weather and it was so peaceful. It was just what I needed.

I cannot believe how many times I got lost.

Once, I even LOST MY CAR! I went walking to the Port, after parking my car about 3 blocks away. Walking back, I couldn't remember where I'd parked my damn car. It was only after 15 minutes of walking that I happened to glance left (to make sure the road was clear before I crossed) and I finally spotted my car.

The massage was great. Worth driving an hour for. I've made another appointment for next month. I think I'll be doing it every month. The guy was not gentle with my EXTREMELY sore spot at the bottom of my back, but I think it did me good. I'm feeling pretty good. Got home and went for a two hour walk. Went past Chrissie's place and dropped off the present I got for her.

In the last month and a half, Jersey (Christine's dog) has destroyed THREE of my t-shirts. Considering I don't own that many shirts, that's half of what I have! One I got for Christmas - an awesome pink converse one which I loved, a really comfy blue one, and a white tee that I also got for Christmas. I hadn't gotten around to replacing any of them ... Because, let's face it, I'm lazy and don't have a problem with wearing the same two shirts on my days off ... But today, I was walking past JayJays in Echuca and spotted some shirts with slogans on them that I found hilarious. I couldn't really afford them, but I just went what the hell ... I got one that says "I don't discriminate. I hate everybody" (Won't be wearin that one in front of mum!) "Sorry ... About your face" and "Cheer up, Emo Kid!" (That's my fave!!). So help me god, if the dog destroys any of them I'll be taking him on a holiday ... TO THE POUND!

Oh. Hey Dan. Before, I was wondering why you hadn't mentioned getting my present. Then I went searching for something in the desk drawer, and ... There's your present. Still sitting in my drawer. That's just brilliant of me, isn't it?! I could have sworn I sent it like three weeks ago. Oopsie ...

Anyway. Dinner's ready so I might get going. I gotta do my dishes from the last three nights since I've been too lazy to do them. Then it's bath and bed, since it's back to work tomorrow. I'm out. Peace, love and laughter guys.

I can't fix this ...

Adam Cohen - Cry Ophelia

Something went wrong
You're not laughing
It's not so easy now to get you to smile
You gotta be strong
To walk these streets
And keep from falling
But when you're not, just let yourself cry

You've been working hard
Just trying to pay the rent
Tryin' to draw the line between who you are and who you invent
But if you throw a stone
Something's gonna shatter somewhere
We're all so fragile
We're all so scared
You say you wanna learn how to live your life without tears
But we've been trying to do that for thousands of years

So go on and cry Ophelia
It's the only thing to do sometimes
You know I'm crying too
Right there with you
It's alright Ophelia
Everybody cries

Thank god for my bad memory
I've forgotten some of the stupid things that I've done
I've come to a little wisdom through a whole lot of failure
So I watch more carefully what rolls off my tongue
You pray for rain
But you don't want it from a storm
You find a rose
And cut your finger on a thorn

So go on and cry Ophelia
It's the only thing to do sometimes
You know I'm crying too
Right there with you
It's alright Ophelia
Everybody cries Ophelia


I've been listening to this song all day.

Firstly, a quote from my day:

I'm singing along to an old 90's song that was playing at work.
Ash: Wow, Rach, you could be on Australian Idol! Oh, except you have to be under 30.
Me: Ashlea, if you tell me you think I'm OLDER than 30, I will kick your arse!
Ash: Hahaha ... Was this song cool when you were young?
Me: ASHLEA, I'M ONLY 24!
Ash: It's 16 days until my 16th birthday!
Me: I give up. Want to know what the dinosaurs were like?

*******

So, I rang my sister today. I havent talked to her for a while.

I knew that a few weeks ago, she went to stay with my brother, his girlfriend and my nephew. I haven't heard from her since she got back though. And considering my mother and I fight everytime we speak about my brother, it seems easier to just not talk about him.

See, it's been a year since all that shit happened. I'm now at the 'just-don't-give-a-damn,-could-honestly-not-care-less-about-my-brother' phase. Yeah, it was upsetting when it happened. Yeah, it seemed like it would tear out family apart. Yeah, I wanted to kill my brother for abusing my nephew. But whatever. Moved on. Just have no desire to ever speak to him again, don't care about what happens to him.

But today, my sister told me that she hasn't spoken to him since she returned home from her holiday.

Now, my sister is ... Protective of my brother. They've always been fairly close. She will make excuse after excuse for him, give him money, let him stay at her house when he and his girlfriend have had a fight. She will bitch and moan to me when I call her, but she still won't get tough with him. Whatever, that's her choice. She believes his lies, well, she can deal with the consequences. I don't say anything to her about the way I feel about him. She knows I don't speak to him, and when I'm talking to her, I simply don't speak of him. Ever.

Anyway. I was a little surprised to hear that they weren't speaking. Then she went on to tell me why:

Because he:

- Hit nephew (J) numerous times (including with a rolled up magazine)
- Made my nephew sit on the couch, for TWO hours, without moving, without talking, because he wanted to watch the WRESTLING and didn't want J playing with his toys. THE KID IS THREE YEARS OLD, FOR GODS SAKE. He should be allowed to play with his own goddamn toys.
- Yelled at J for getting out of bed in the morning and playing with his toys, because my fuckwit brother wanted to sleep in. The time? 11 a.m.
- Severly limits J's food intake. HE IS A GROWING KID! HE NEEDS FOOD!

I don't even know what to say. Child abuse. Again. And my brothers girlfriend? J's mum? What the hell is she doing, letting this go on? She KNOWS what is going on. And she's letting it continue.

I am not doing this again. Monday, I'm working all day. Tuesday, I'm ringing DHS.

Christine: Mary had 4 kittens in her first litter. We gave one to C****.
Me: Cool.
Christine: Course, then it gotten eaten by a police dog in a drug raid on their house.
Me: *Laughing hysterically* Are you serious?!
Christine: Yeah. We didn't think it was a good idea to give them another kitten. You know, just in case it happened again.
Me: ... ... Uh ... Ok then!

FREE TO GOOD HOME ...

Answers to the name *Buckley*.

Adoreable, 6 month-old, friendly lop-eared dwarf rabbit.

All white, with gorgeous long ears. Will sit quietly and contentedly as you stroke his ears.

Loves to climb all over you while you chill out together.

Will throw cute little temper tantrums when put back in his cage!

Loves to eat expensive textbooks, chew on cords and tear up carpet when allowed to roam the house!

Has heaps of fun scratching the shit out of you on a daily basis!

Has a hilarious stubborn personality!

Loves to pee all over couches and beds, as well as floors!


Gorgeous, destructive and tempremental rabbit comes with:
* Cage
* Toys
* His own little blanket *Warning: He does not like people touching his blanket*
* Free food and vegetables for ONE WHOLE YEAR! Yep, I'll feed him for one year for you!

Please contact me if you want to own this perfect catch!

Who, exactly, is being unreasonable?

So, Christine came around the other day. Her and Jason have broken up (again). But I think it's final this time. This is how our conversation went ...


Christine: I've deleted his numbers from my phone.
Me: What, you don't know them automatically?
Chrissie: Nup. And I tore up his business card.
Me: He has a business card? Cool.
Chrissie: It's NOT COOL! You're meant to be on my side!
Me: Ok. So he's a total, utter dumbarse. Only dickheads have business cards.
Chrissie: I even deleted messenger off my computer, deleted his hotmail address AND cleared the little history thing.
Me: Wow. Ok then.
Christine: ... ...
Me: What? What's wrong?
Chrissie: I think I need to get a new phone number. I mean, what if he decides to message me or ring me one day? I need to change my number.
Me: Ok, well make sure you give me the number.
Chrissie: You're not taking me seriously!
Me: Yes, I am. I seriously want you to give me you're new number ... When you get it.
Chrissie: And you know how we were talking about moving in together? And we were thinking maybe at the end of the year? Could we do that a bit sooner than we planned?
Me: How much sooner?
Chrissie: Next week.
Me: Sure. Why the hell not?
Chrissie: That would be great.
Me: Well, we're going to Medicare soon, and DCK and Tweed Sutherland are right near Medicare. We'll just pop in and get some rental listings, and start looking today. Ok?
Christine: Oh, now you're just being ridiculous!
Me: I'M the one being ridiculous?! Ha!
Christine: Oh, by the way, I need to steal Jason's GPS thingy, to take my address out of it.
Me: If you're moving, what does it matter if he's got your old address? But, if it really matters to you, all we have to do is go to Melbourne, sit outside his house, wait until he's in bed for the night, break into his ute, break/change the GPS and then we can go home. Simple.
Chrissie: THAT'S IT! I'M NOT TALKING TO YOU ANY MORE!

Yeah, this is the way our conversation actually went.
Hahaha ....

Bunny cards for every occasion. (Thanks, Dan)

Click. Come on, you know you want to.

Look to the left of the screen.

Right next to this post.

Go on, look now.

There's a cute little pink picture.

It's for the Breast Cancer Site. It's an American site (not sure if Australia has a site) and you can help to fund free mammograms by just clicking on the link, then clicking on the button.

Seriously, it's that simple.

It'd be great if you could do it everyday ... Okey-dokies? Great. Thanks!


P.S. Did you read my last post? (Yes, YOU! I'm talking to you. No, you know who you are - that is, the person I'm talking to specifically here now knows who they are, and that I'm talking to them right now ... Ohhh man.) If you did ... Well, the work thing hasn't changed much. Everything's confused and it's hasn't been a lot of fun. I'm trying not to think about it right now though. I have two days off - tomorrow and Monday. I'll probably go back to work to find out that I don't have a job. Eh. Oh well.

P.P.S. Dan, I'm sorry I didn't meet you out last night. I hope you had a great night. I got home from work and was pretty upset. By 10 o'clock last night I was ... Well, a mess. Did you have a hangover this morning? (!!!) Hey, did you drive here in your new car? If you did, I'm going to be pissed I didn't get to see it! (Even though that's totally my fault ... Whatever!)

P.P.P.S. I've recently discovered Google Analytics, so I know who you are and where you're reading this from ... Hahaha ... Not really. I know that someone has looked up "Naming Day Speech", and they ended up here (because of the speech I wrote for Ryan's naming day. Did you know that if you look up 'Naming Day Speech' online, all you get is a bunch of people who will write you a speech - for money. You don't get much help on what to write for a NDS). Anyway. Did you like it? And a big hey to whoever it is that's from N.Z. who visited me the other day. You know, you guys can leave comments if you want. Don't be afraid to say Hi. And G'day to the visitors from the U.S. :-) Yup, I know you're there!

What. A. Day.

It's been a big 24 hours.

In the last 24 hours, I have been:

- Early for work
- Late for work
- Employed
- Unemployed
- Re-employed
- Confused
- Worried / Panicked
- Giggley / Bordering on hysterical
- Hopeful

What the hell, huh?

This morning (well, actually yesterday morning since it's 1 a.m.) I rocked up for work at 8:45 a.m., thinking that my start time was 9. I got there to find that Heather had already set up the kiosk, and I went "Hmm ... That's strange. I thought that was my job today!" However, Heather was the one going "Hmmm" when she spotted me, because I wasn't meant to be at work until 10. Oops.
So home I went for an hour.
However, once I got home, I started reading a book, and got distracted and totally lost track of time. Looked at the clock ... "Oh shit! It's 9:40!"
So after being early for work, I was then late. Only just, though.

Like I said yesterday, things haven't been going well for the business at work. Heather has been under a lot of stress, and has been talking about trying to get out of the lease for the kiosk. She would keep the cafe, but close the kiosk down. I had talked her though, and she had assured me that if the kiosk closed down, I'd have a job in the cafe or their other business in Bendigo.

Today, everything sort of fell to hell, went to pieces and ... Well, it was shit.

About 11 a.m., Heather came over to tell me that Nick (the actual owner of the cafe - Heather rents it from him) had taken the cafe back. Heather had gone to Nick, and told him that she needed a little extra time to pay the lease this month. His response? "Get out of the cafe by the end of the month". Added to that? "There's no way you're getting out the kiosk lease".

Heather came over, in tears, to tell me that she couldn't afford to keep me on. She was so upset. She told me that her only option was to work in the kiosk by herself, to try and make some money, with the view of selling it soon.

She also told me that although she had said I could work at the other business that that wouldn't be possible. Heather and her husband, Frank, had actually already told two other girls this morning (from the other business) that they couldn't afford to keep them on. The cafe and the kiosk (the kiosk especially) have both been doing so badly that we have been losing a lot of money, so much that Heather and Frank have seriously considered selling their house to keep the cafe and the kiosk afloat. (It's not just the cafe and the kiosk that are not going well, by the way - the whole centre has been very quiet, and at least 4 other businesses there are in serious trouble.)

So ...

Hello, unemployment.

At first, I was concerned, (how am I going to pay rent, bills, buy food, how the hell am I going to get another job, what's going to happen now?) but I was more worried about Heather. She was devastated, and kept apologising. I know that this isn't her fault. I honestly believe this is Nick's work. He has wanted the cafe back for months, and has made no secret of that. He's made things difficult at every turn for us, and he is a utter bastard. Heather is working her arse off to try and keep afloat, and I know that this has been hell for her for months. She's been trying to put this off for as long as possible, because she was worried about us (her employees), and I guess something had to break.

However, after the afternoon went on, I started to panic a little.

Then, about 4 p.m., Heather had a meeting with Nick. He had decided to sit down and talk to her, and try and work something out. Whilst he was unwilling to give back the cafe (meaning 4 girls from the cafe are still out of work), he was willing to move the kiosk into a shop, at no cost to Heather. We have two vacant shops at the Market Centre, and it appears we will be moving into one of them.

So, immediately after Heather and Nick had their chat, Heather came to me, and told me all that had happened. If this goes ahead - if we do move into a shop - I will not lose my job. We'd move the kiosk into a shop, which would mean we could continue doing the food etc. we were doing the cafe, because we would have the room. In the kiosk, we currently do milkshakes, juices, hot drinks, gelati, cakes/slices/muffins. If we moved into a shop, we would have the room to do the cafe food, such as sandwhiches, rolls, hot food - fried food, chicken packs and proper meals - etc.

I say *if*, because I refuse to get my hopes up yet. I know Nick. He is, to be perfectly honest, a ruthless arsehole. His needs come first, screw everyone else. I want so much for this to come through - for Heather - because if this works out it would be a huge weight off her shoulders - for me, and for the girls in the cafe, because then we wouldn't lose our jobs, but right now? It's a wait and see game.

So, right now, it's 1:45 a.m. I'm still awake, because my damn brain won't switch off. Everything is a mess inside my head. Heather and I had another chat before I left, and by that stage I was just so confused, and I had gone really quiet. I was just trying to get things straight in my head, I guess. She asked if I was ok, (for about the thirtieth time today :-)) and I had to say "I really don't know. I don't know what to think".

I don't think this will resolve quickly. Today, I honestly thought that Saturday would be my last shift at work. But now, I don't know what's going to happen next week.

Anyway, I have to be up for work in 5 hours, so I better try to get some sleep. Peace out, guys.

The one where I make a list and pretend like I'm organised

Firstly, the picture in the post below is actually animated. Click on it, and it'll take you to another page where the picture will move and words will appear.

Now, onto other things ...

Today's blog topics:

(This list is for me, because I've got a feeling this is gonna be a long one, and I don't wanna forget anything)

1. Some people just seem to be shit-magnets, don't they?
2. Let's talk about the musical stylings of the Snappz.
3. Work. And unemployment.
4. Health. And English x-ray techs who make me miss the cricket.
5. Open letter to Joey Johns.

Ok, let's get into it ...

1. Yesterday, Christine and I both had the day off work. We had a pretty cool day, relaxing, catching up with Ang, yada yada yada. Yesterday afternoon it warmed up, and we decided it was ice-cream weather. So we headed to the MarketPlace, where we ran into a girl that we actually went to school with. Her name is S.
S is a beautiful person, she really is. She's about the same age as my sister - almost 27. She had her gorgeous 11 week old son with her.
S (and her mum) have not had things easy. S has one older sister. When S and her sister were little, their dad died suddenly. When I was 12, S's older sister heard a noise from the backyard one night and went to investigate. She was bashed, and spent a week in Melbourne on life-support before S and her mum made the heart-breaking decision to turn off the machines.
So at 16, after losing her dad, she also loses her sister. She has only her mum left.
A few years ago, I saw S. Things were going ok for her. Her and her boyfriend, J, had had their first child - a boy. She was happy. Her mum loved being a grandma.
Sadly, less than a year later, they lost their little boy. They sat by and watched as he died from a very rare form of cancer. There was nothing that the doctors could do for him.
However, when I last saw S - a couple of months ago while I was at work - things seemed to be looking up for her. She was pregnant - her and J were expecting their third child. Their second is a little under two years old. J, who had been very sick for a while, was out of hospital and doing well.
Yesterday, S told us that her mum has been diagnosed with cancer. Things don't look good.

Some people seem to have more than their fair share of shit to deal with in life.

Here's a girl in her 20's. She's lost her dad, and her sister. She watched her son die. She's been by her partners side as he dealt with some pretty serious health issues. And now she's watching her mum go through chemo, which will only buy her mum an extra couple of months.

How is that fair?

And what amazes me is that S is such a beautiful, positive person. I don't know how the hell she does it, but she picks herself up, dusts herself off each time, and keeps moving.

*****

2. Perhaps a more appropriate title would have been ... What musical stylings?!
I brought ... And I don't know why, or what the hell I was thinking ... But I know own a flute ...

Let me tell you what happened. A couple of weeks ago, I was on ebay. I haven't been on ebay in maybe 10-11 months. I was looking around, not planning on buying anything ... And yet, somehow I found a flute, at a great price, and I bid ... And I won.

Now, I have played the flute. A couple of years ago ... Ok, about 5 years ago ... Wow, has it been 8 years since I've played a flute?!

It arrived yesterday. I also purchased a how to play the flute book, which arrived at the end of last week. It was fantastically helpful for those few days before the flute arrived ... *lol* So last night, I put the flute together, and played around a bit. I was tooting away last night, and looked at the clock, only to realise it was 11:45 p.m. Yup, bet the bloke next door is THRILLED that I now own a flute!

Anyway. I've figured out how to play B, C, G, and I'm working on D. A hates me. I cannot get A. Today, I managed to get out an A note, and then I went to turn a page of my book and ... I lost it.
Oops.

I was playing before, and so unimpressed by my wonderful musical talents was my rabbit, who when I looked over at him, was fast asleep. Great. Thanks for being such an attentive audience, Buckley!

Anyway. We'll see how it goes. Maybe one day I'll actually be able to play music on it. At the moment I'm just playing individual notes, occasionally putting them together. It's a lot of fun :-)

*****

3. Work. Well.
It's not going great.
Not so much personally. I'm actually enjoying it at the moment - I'm talking to my boss about stuff more - like when I'm not feeling great, etc. I'm not taking it personally when she has a go at me about something stupid. I know I haven't done anything wrong and she's just stressed. It doesn't matter to me anymore.
But on Monday my boss told me that she wants to sell the business, or just close it down if she can't sell it. It's not likely that she will be able to sell it because it's not making any money. We're very, very quiet, and my boss is losing more and more money. And it doesn't look like things are going to get any better, so I guess it's makes sense that she wants to get out.
Heather and I have already talked about my job - which will no longer exist if there's no kiosk. She's willing to put me in the cafe or in their other business (which is in the middle of Bendigo), which is amazing of her and I do appreciate it. I was thinking of maybe looking for something else though, and maybe staying at the cafe part-time. The reality is, my back is fucked. I can barely work a full day, and I only get through an 8 hour shift by taking 2 very strong painkillers. I'm working on doing something about my back (more about that next) but I think that by changing jobs to something a little less physically demanding - where I'm not on my feet 8 hours a day, and not lifting/bending all day - would help a lot. However, I love the environment of the cafe/kiosk, and I have fun out there. I love going to work because I know I'm going to have a laugh with the girls, and I'm going to have some fun during the day. We make a great team, and I would miss that.
At the moment though, it's just a waiting game. Waiting to see if the business sells/gets closed down, waiting to see what happens with my back, waiting to see what happens with the cafe, waiting, waiting, waiting ...

*****

4. Yesterday, I got a lot done. Some housework. Went to visit Ang. Got to hang out with my gorgeous godson for a while. Picked up my flute from the Post Office. Paid some bills.
Finally got around to having my x-ray.
Last week, when I went to the doctor, she gave me a referral for an x-ray. She wants to find out exactly what's going on with my back. Since then, I haven't had a chance to get it done.
But yesterday, Chrissie and I headed up to Medical Imaging at the BHCG to get it done. Thankfully, you can just walk in to get x-rays done here. You don't have to make an appointment, which is great. Usually there's a wait, but it's not normally too long.
Yesterday, they had the cricket on in the waiting room! Score!
Sadly, Australia wasn't playing, which was a bummer, but there is no such thing as bad cricket, so I settled myself in for the wait, and glued my eyes to the screen.
Christine, who has no interest in cricket, started reading Beauty And The Beast, out loud, until I moved three seats down and she begged me to come back.
I got to see maybe twenty minutes of cricket before the x-ray tech/nurse chick (who had the most hilarious English accent ever!), called my name.
The x-ray took a little longer than I thought.
Three times the tech told me she was done. Three times I got up and got dressed, only to be told that she just had to take another couple. Three times I got undressed and back into the little gown.
Apparently, I have a "deceivingly long spine". Huh. Didn't know that, thanks for letting me know.
And of course, the problem is actually at the bottom of my back/lower back, so she kind of needed those x-rays!
Anyway, I go to the doctor on Friday for my results, so hopefully the x-ray will show something that easy enough to fix.
I have actually started to organise physio, because that should help - I have made an appointment with a guy in Echuca who's meant to be a miracle worker. He's so good, I can't get an appointment until the 26th! I'm working on something before then, there's apparently a clinic in Bendigo that's also great, but I need a referral from my doctor to go there, so I'll get one on Friday. I'm still in pain daily, tired all the time, with a constant headache, but I'm trying to fix things, and I have hope that something has to work soon, right?! :-)

*****
5.
Dear Joey.

Hey.

I know we've never met, but I feel like I can call you Joey. Hope that's cool.

Firstly, I want to say Congrats. Read your book, and It. Was. Awesome.

I didn't think that it would be as good as it was. With all the press surrounding it, and everything that came out when the book was released, I'm not sure what I thought it would be, but I wasn't expecting something that honest, and open.

So, Kudos to you.

Anyway. I wanted to say thanks. Thanks ever-so-much for the embarrassing moment I had earlier that I'm blaming on you.

Tonight, I went for a walk. I had my ipod with me, and I'd just started listening to the Meshel, Ash and Kip - with Luttsy - Podcast. You would know of Meshel, Ash and Kip with Luttsy, wouldn't you Joey? Considering you talked to them on air this morning? Remember that?

Remember the fucking hilarious story you told?

And the one liner about your mum having a hand in your grand final win? (Which, by the way, is totally making me crack up again right now!)

So, I'm walking along, just about pissing myself laughing. Which should be embarrassing, but I do that on a daily basis, so whatever.

I start laughing so hard, I lose track of where I am.

And I don't hear the guy on a bike, right behind me on the footpath, ringing his bell to warn me he's RIGHT BEHIND ME!

In a tangle of arms, legs and wheels, I get taken down.

So, thanks Joey. Really appreciate it!

Yours sincerely,

The World's Biggest Idiot.

Love ya, Dad.

So, I love my dad, I really do.

I am just so, so thankful that I did not inherit his patience and temper.

Because if I had, I would not have been able to sit here today, for THREE HOURS, teaching my dad how to work the new DVD recorder he and mum purchased yesterday.

If I had inherited dad's temper, I would have gotten frustrated and started yelling about 15 minutes in.

I would have gotten seriously annoyed when he asked me questions such as "But how does the DVD player know when to record if the tv is off? Do we have to leave the tv on all the time now?" and "What happens if I change tv channels when the DVD player is recording?" "How does the DVD always know exactly when to stop recording?"

Dad, I've already told you the answers to those questions at least thirty times.

If I had my dads patience, I would not have written out, step-by-step, how to record a tv prgram, then shown him, step-by-step, then watched as he did it himself.

You know what? After three hours though, I was nearly laughing.

And I have no doubt, that sometime this week I will get a phonecall from either my mother or my father, asking ... "How do I use that stupid DVD thing?"

I guess as well as being blessed with patience ... I also got insanity.

Buckley ... Again

Baby Smurf!

Don't be deceived ... This photo is not from 2004! This is Baby Smurf, who is now 2 and a half months old ... Guess who's started to smile! :-)

The best laid plans ...

So, I had a plan for tonight.

This week, I have been doing long days at work, working alone in the kiosk. We are down two staff members - one quit unexpectedly last weekend, and one is off sick. And considering that we were short-staffed to begin with, that makes things even more difficult.

But today was going to be my "short" day at work. I was going to work from 10 until 4:30. Only 6 and a half hours of being rushed off my feet, dealing with everything on my own. I had thought that my afternoon would go something like this:

4:30 - Leave work
4:45 - Get home, sit down, relax and chill out
6:00 - Go get a pizza for dinner
6:45 - Have a nice, long, relaxing bath
7:30 - Park arse on couch and watch Twenty20 game live from MCG
10:30 - Head to bed, relaxed and refreshed, ready for another 10 hour day tomorrow.

Ok, now lets look at how my afternoon/night actually went ...

5:15 - Finally leave work
5:30 - Am almost home when I look at my petrol gauge and realise I should probably fill up sometime soon if I want my car to keep working. Pull into petrol station to realise that even though I have my bag, I didn't put my wallet in my bag before leaving home this morning. Brilliant.
5:40 - Get home, get wallet, turn around and go back out to get petrol.
6:15 - Return home again to discover psycho rabbit has thrown his water bowl, and turned it upside down, soaking the newspaper at the bottom of his cage. He has then shredded the newspaper, making a massive mess.
6:20 - Swear at rabbit as I realise I'm going to have to clean out the cage.
6:30 - Have no newspaper to put on the bottom of rabbits cage. Head out again, buy 4 newspapers and return home ... Again.
6:50 - Finish cleaning out rabbits cage, put rabbit back in his cage in disgrace. Realise I am starving.
7:00 - Head into bedroom to change out of work clothes. Have a drink on the way to bedroom, and then chuck my bottle of coke from work on my bed. Get changed, then look at bed to notice coke bottle has leaked. All over the middle of my bed.
7:15 - Put work clothes in wash. Strip bed, chuck sheets on the laundry floor.
7:20 - Head out (again) to get pizza.
7:50 - Get home, watch cricket for a few minutes.
8:00 - Hang out work clothes. Put sheets on to wash.
8:15 - Get out clean sheets and remake bed.
8:25 - Let rabbit out for a quick run around loungeroom.
8:45 - Rabbit runs straight into birds cage. Birds go nuts, seed and feathers flying everywhere.
8:50 - Catch rabbit, gets put back into cage in MAJOR disgrace. Start swearing under my breath, wondering what the hell happened to my perfect, relaxing night as I drag out the vacuum cleaner.
9:05 - Finish vacuuming the lounge, put vacuum cleaner away.
9:15 - Run bath.
9:25 - Sit in bath for 15 minutes, unable to relax because I can't stop thinking about my plan, and what the hell happened??? I had a plan!!
9:40 - Get out, get into pjs and sit down to blog.

Yeah ... Things didn't go exactly the way I planned ...