Wednesday, April 02, 2008

Blood tests and whatnot.

I never know how to start these entries ...

Anyway. How are we all? Good? Good.

My attack of the grumps seems to have been cured. Actually, it turns out it wasn't so much grumps as it was ... Pneumonia.

I ended up at the doctors the other day (after a few nights and days of struggling to breathe, headaches, tiredness and crankiness). I have PERFECT blood pressure, thank you very much! I am so proud of that! And maybe I need to get a life, but hey! I have PERFECT blood pressure.

What's not so great is my lungs, my rapid pulse and the whole infection thing I've got going on.

But, HELLO? PERFECT blood pressure!

Anyway, my doctor ordered a blood test, just to make sure that there was nothing else going on.

I think I may have written a sentence or two before about how much I freaking hate needles and whatnot before.

In case I haven't, or in case you haven't read those entries, let me make it very, very clear:

I HATE needles.

They FREAK me out.

Just the THOUGHT of having to get a needle will make me panic.

Actually, I had pneumonia a couple of years ago. I was gently persuaded (they say they pretty much dragged me ... Eh. Whatever. Potato/Puhtato ...) to go to the hospital one night. The nurse hooked me up to the little heartrate monitor thingy (yes, that's the technical term for it) and told me that she was going to give me a needle for somethingorother. My heartrate went up so high she actually got the doctor because she was worried. I then had to explain that there wasn't anything wrong with my heart, I was just shit-scared because she'd mentioned the "N" word.

Um ... Where was I? Oh. Needles. Hate them.

(Yes, I am a wuss. A chicken. A scaredy-cat. Deal with it. I have.)

Anyway, so as soon as the doctor said "blood test", I started freaking. I should have done it first thing this morning, but I just couldn't bring myself to get in the car and go to the pathology place. Then, when I finally got there, I found that they were closed for lunch. For two hours.

So I went back home, freaked out for another couple of hours. Finally went back, and wow, what luck! They could fit me in right away! How lucky am I! I was just sooooo pleased!

Then, the fun began. Apparently, I might have PERFECT blood pressure (hehehe), but I have TERRIBLE veins. The poor nurse spent almost 10 minutes trying to find a vein. Found one, stuck the needle in ...

Oops, blew it.

Nurse: "Bugger! I was just a bees-sting away from where I needed to be then!"
Me: Quietly hyper-ventiliating.

So, she tried again.

This time, even the vein she had had disappeared, and none of my veins wanted to come out. I'm clenching my fist, shaking my arm, putting my hands in warm water ... Everything.

Finally, she finds one! Woo hoo! Let's go and get this over with!

Oops ... Blew it.

What are you kidding me??!

So, we try again. My veins are, if possible, even MORE reluctant to show themselves, and again, it takes some time for the nurse to find one.

I cannot even tell you the REFLIEF that I feel when I hear her say "Got ya! Ha! It's ok, this time we're in business".

For something that should have taken 10, 15 minutes tops, it was 45 minutes after I walked in that I finally RAN out!

So help me god, if that test shows NOTHING, I will be choking my doctor! Now won't that be fun!

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