Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Helpful advice, my arse.

So, today (well, yesterday actually. Yesterday morning), Christine and I took a trip to Bunnings. Now, having a dad who's more than willing to do all that stuff that needs doing around my house means that I've never really needed Bunnings (or any hardware store) for any reason at all. But yesterday morning, Christine got up to discover that Jersey, her 8 month old puppy, who has, for the last 6 months been digging holes all over her back yard, had finally managed to dig his way under the fence, into the neighbours yard. Hahahaha! What a little bugger.

So we went to Bunnings, to get some wood, or some wire mesh, or something that would stop this from happening again.

It was interesting. And hilarious.

Me: Ooh, I'll ask that guy there for advice.
Christine: It does say on their ads they have lots of helpful advice!
Me: Excuse me. I was wondering if you could help us. We've got a problem with a dog, who's digging underneath a fence, getting out, and we need to put something there to stop him. What would be the best way to go about it?
Sales guy: I don't know anything about dogs. (Turns back to his work)
Me: Oook. Thanks anyway.
(As we're walking off)
Sales guy: Oh wait. I did hear of a friend. You probably won't like it, but he put barbed wire in the dirt all around the fence. The mutt shredded his feet when he tried to dig.
Me: Uh ... Thanks! We'll give that some thought.

(As soon as we walk away)
Christine: I wonder if his "friend" is now in jail.
Me: Helpful advice, my arse.

About 20 minutes later, we'd decided on a two-stage attack plan. A long plank of wood to put in front of the fence, and some square iron thingies (is it obvious I don't know how the hell to describe them?!) to put in front of the fence where the wood wouldn't reach. So, we decide that as soon as we get a shovel, we'll be out of there. Turns out the shovels are in the same isle as the mailboxes (some of which are FREAKING MASSIVE!), which leads to this brainwave from yours truly.

Me: (Laughing hysterically) Why not just buy a mailbox and stick him in there when you're not at home?
Christine: What is WRONG with you?!
Me: Problem solved (still laughing at my brilliance).
Christine: Oh ... My ... God ...
Me: You know, I think I may have been dropped on my head as a baby.
Christine: We could put barbed wire on the outside of the mailbox, he'd never get out!
(Then we both start laughing because we have the same dorky sense of humour and find each other hilarious!)

So, all in all ... A productive trip to Bunnings :-)

I cannot believe it's 3:15 a.m. and I'm awake. I am soooo tired. I haven't slept a lot the last couple of nights. I died about 11:30 tonight, then woke up an hour ago, having big trouble breathing. As soon as I'd been sitting upright for a few minutes, it got a lot easier to breathe, so I don't know what's going on there. You know, this breathing thing aint as easy as it looks ... :-)

Anyway, I might try and get some sleep. If this doesn't stop I'll have to go to the doctors AGAIN. Grr. Ok, I'm out :-)

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