Monday, June 16, 2008

Here we go again ...

Last year, this happened.

Won't go into any more detail ... Suffice to say, it was one of the hardest things we've gone through as a family.

Since then, my brother and his girlfriend have broken up, got back together, moved back in together (regardless of the Protection Order DHS took out for Jordyn stating that Darren wasn't allowed to live with Jordyn). I've now lost all respect I had for my brothers girlfriend. She put Jordyn back in a shitty situation, and why? So she could be with Darren.

There's been a few incidents that have left niggling doubts in my mind about whether Darren should be around Jordyn. Jordyn broke his collarbone. Darren claimed it was because he'd thrown himself on the ground during a temper tantrum. There were some bruises on Jordyn in some photos they sent mum. Just normal kid stuff?

Anyway. Last week, when I was home at mum and dads, my brother rang. At 3 a.m. Drunk. He'd just kicked in a door and smashed a window.

Yeah. That's the kind of environment you want a three year old kid in.

Friday, when I got back to Bendigo. What was the very first thing I did?

Went online, looking for the number of FACS (Family and Childrens Services, as DHS is called in the NT). Once I'd found the number, I rang.

I rang knowing that this would probably tear my family apart again.

I rang knowing that Darren would think I was only doing this to hurt him.

I rang knowing that I'd just dumped my brother in so much deep shit that it was likely that not only would he lose Jordyn, but Lorri would probably lose Jordyn as well.

I rang knowing that the details that I'd given would soon give me away. It won't take them long to realise who has dobbed them in.

But when it comes down to it? I don't really care.

I know my family will get through this. We're strong. My mum can do anything, can hold it together through everything. We'll do what has to be done.

I know that it will be my fault. But I can live with that.

Because, really? All I care about is Jordyn. I want that kid to be happy. I want him to be allowed to play. I want him to be allowed to be a little bit naughty sometimes. All kids are. He should be able to laugh and do something he knows he's not meant to do, without being scared that dad will beat him for it. I want him to grow up in a home that doesn't have a drunk father. I want him to grow up in a house where the number one priority is JORDYN.

Anyway. I guess only time will tell what happens.


GMan said...

I read the old post and then this one. You are doing the right thing. there is no reason that anyone should blame you for anything. you aren't tearing your family apart, you are keeping it together. take a second and be proud that you are a strong enough person to stand up and do what is right!!

Matt said...

I think you are doing the right thing as well!

In time your brother will get over it. Especially if he cleans up his act and realises that you were doing this for the kids safety.

anyway. Good luck. I hope everything works out well, in that, everyone is ok.

~*~Snappz~*~ said...

You know, I have been really confused about whether or not I was doing the right thing.

But at the end of the day, all I want is what's best for Jordyn. It doesn't matter about what anyone else says or thinks of me. I just want to give that kid the great life he deserves. I don't want him to end up on the news, like those twins from Qld. I don't want him to be some statistic of child abuse.

Thanks for the comments :-) Wasn't really the easiest post I've ever written, that's for sure.