So, I went to visit my mum and dad yesterday. My sister, her boyfriend and my nieces were also at mum and dads, visiting. This is how my night went last night ...
11:45 p.m. Hit the sack. I'm sleeping in the spare room with my nieces. Bug Eyes is on the futon with me, and Baby Smurf is on the floor on a kids fold-out couch. Spend a few minutes trying to move Bug Eyes to one side of the futon so I can squeeze on there somewhere. She may be small, but the kid has got arms and legs everywhere.
12:15 a.m. Still awake as Bug Eyes has limbs everywhere, and hits me with a knee or an elbow approximately every 45 seconds. Finally manage to drift off sometime after 12:45 a.m.
1:30 a.m. Wake to the sound of Baby Smurf talking to herself. She's not upset or anything ... Just talkin Smurfese.
2:15 a.m. Still awake. So, incidentally, is Baby Smurf, who continues to have a great old conversation with herself. Have now got a headache the size of the Grand Canyon.
2:50 a.m. Baby Smurf is now thumping her legs on the ground. I'm guessing by the sound that she's motored herself off the little kiddy couch and is on the floor, kicking away. I get up to investigate, and nearly stand on her. She has not only moved herself off the couch, she's gotten all the way to the door.
3:00 a.m. The house phone rings. I put Baby Smurf back on her couch, and run out to the loungeroom, thinking that a middle of the night phonecall can't be a good thing. Dad answers, and who ever was on the other end hangs up. He decides to go outside for a smoke, and hands the phone to me.
3:05 a.m. Phone rings again. Answer it to hear my drunk brother saying "I lost my temper and kicked in a door and smashed a window". Hand the phone to mum.
3:20 a.m. Mum, dad, my sister, my sisters boyfriend and I are now all sitting in the lounge. Baby Smurf is still in the spare room, yapping merrily away to herself. Try to figure out what to do with fuckwit brother, who obviously needs some kind of help. What the hell is wrong with him??
3:40 a.m. Mum, dad and sisters boyfriend all head back to bed. Amanda and I get Baby Smurf up and bring her into the lounge room, where she starts to giggle at the fact that she's now got an audience. I tell Amanda to go back to bed, I'll feed the Smurf and put her into bed.
4:00 a.m. Baby Smurf drinks half her bottle, then starts giggling and talking again. Which is friggin cute ... But not at 4 a.m., when all I want to do is sleeeeeep.
4:30 a.m. Baby Smurf is obviously not going back to sleep anytime soon, as evidenced by her talking and her bright eyes. So I put on The Golden Girls, and set her on the floor to kick until her heart is content.
5:00 a.m. I try giving the Smurf the rest of her bottle, hoping that maybe that will make her sleepy. She drinks about half, then settles on my chest while I watch The Golden Girls. If I can just stay here, nice and quiet, she might maybe fall asleep ...
5:25 a.m. Make the mistake of trying to put Baby Smurf into bed. Her eyes immediately fly open and she gets very outraged, and spends the next 15 minutes telling me (loudly) of her disgust in me.
5:50 a.m. We're settled onto the couch again. Baby Smurf is talking quietly to herself, and I'm fighting to keep my eyes open. Finally, finally, she falls asleep, and I spend 15 minutes trying not to move a muscle to make sure she stays asleep.
6:30 a.m. At last! The Smurf goes back to bed. I go to the loungeroom, intending to sleep on the couch. I don't think I even lasted 5 minutes before I was out like a light.
7:05 a.m. Bug Eyes is up! And she can't understand why Aunty Snappz doesn't want to get up and play ...