So I've been in a serious funk.
And I just can't shake it.
I don't know what the hell is wrong with me.
I even got as close as I've ever been on Sunday night to doing something very, very stupid. And I knew it was stupid, but I just can't keep going going like this. Only the thought of not seeing my Little Man, Bug Eyes and Baby Smurf again made me stop.
I've had enough of everything. Of the family shit, which a year later, thanks to my brother, is still going on. I'm tired of being exhausted all the time, and not knowing why. I'm sick of coming home at night and just crying for no reason, or no reason that I can explain.
Yesterday, I slept until 12. Lunch time. I got up, and I was still so, so tired. And I know it's partly because of my back. Nothing seems to be helping it. I've been to the doctor, many times, and I can't get anything that will help. There's always pain. But it shouldn't make me this tired.
So today ... I made a sort-of plan ... Lose some weight, go back to the doctor and the chiropractor, and go from there. Start something long-term, make a plan, follow it through. Start saying to my doctor, "This isn't right. Help me, or I'll go somewhere else."
And ... Hello Zoloft. I'm going back on the Zoloft. It helped last time, and I think it's a good idea.
Anyway ... I'm sick of thinking about myself, so ...
Corey Delaney. Is there anyone who hasn't heard of this 16 year old fuckwit? I hope, that in 10 years time when this kid grows up, when his parents drag out the photos, and the newspaper articles, that this dickhead is humiliated by what he's done, and by how he looks. I think he's an idiot. And oh my god, what's with the way kids dress these days? What is with the big plastic sunglasses and the stupid hats? Am I old for saying this? Oh, how depressing. I'm only 24!
I have found some great new blogs ... Adventures of GuitarGirl RN. Way funny chicky. Ten out of Ten - the writings of a ER Doc. Musings of a Highly Trained Monkey - very cool blog, and very honest ... Definitely someone who calls a spade a spade. There's also Dr Smak, ER RN, Life in the Emergency Department. There are more, but I'll share them later ... I have to say, reading all these blogs has given me a new respect for nurses and doctors. Even though my best friend is a nurse, I've never really thought about her work. Nurses especially put up with a lot of crap, it seems. And who knew that Emergency could be funny as well as dramatic?!
The Pickup Line Encyclopedia ... Ha! Organised by category. Pretty cool website.
This is a rabbit site ... Pretty cool and informative at the same time.
PostSecret has some great secrets up this week ... Go check them out.
It's January, what does that mean? The Australian Open is back again. Tennis will be constantly on my tv for the next couple of weeks, I'll only changing the chanel for the cricket. The next test match (Australia v. India) starts tomorrow, I think.
What else ...
Oh. I met someone. He's a little older than me ... I don't know what it is about me and older guys ... Is it going to go somewhere? I don't know. He's funny, and relaxed, and also kind of frustrates me at times ... *lol* I don't know.
Anyway. That's about it. Sorry for the lack of updates. Maybe that's why I've been in such a bad funk, because I haven't been getting stuff out on here like I usually do. Anyway, I'm gonna work on it. And I'll try to update more often.
Peace out :-)