Buckley

Firstly, before I get into my usual, silly, light-hearted post - Some sad news: Anna-Jane, who endured 2 years and 9 months of chemo and hospitals and needles and operations and blood tests and experimental treatments trying to bravely fight cancer, lost her battle on the 25th November. Anna-Jane was only 5 and a half. Half her life had been spent trying to beat cancer.

Rest in Peace, Anna-Jane. You fought so hard, you've earnt it.

******

I know ... I'm a terrible blogger ...

:-(

*lol* I know I'm waaay behind on my 30 secrets. I know I haven't updated in any way, shape or form since last week. I know I'm a terrrrible person :-)

BUT ... In my defence ...

Work was crazy busy last week/weekend. Sunday I finished work, rushed home to grab my stuff and was on the way to Melbourne an hour later, and I've only just gotten home late this afternoon. My sister does have the internet, but her computer is soooooo slow I didn't even bother trying to use it.

So here I am. I have stacks of cute niece stories, lots of funny quotes, and SO MANY gorgeous photos to show you ... but not yet. I'm exhausted. I haven't slept properly in three nights - partly because my sister ran out of beds and I was sleeping on the lounge room floor, partly because my 2 and a half year old niece believes she has to invade the lounge room at 5 a.m. EVERY morning or the world will end, and partly because there was a baby with a terrific set of lungs in the house who demanded to be fed every three hours, otherwise the whole NEIGHBOURHOOD would be alerted to the fact that she was hungry.

Damn, I had a great time.

Anyway. Here's a couple of photos just til I update properly sometime in the next couple of days ... :-)

Ok, Photos went to the top of the entry ... And I'm waaay to tired to figure out how to fix it. I'm now going to sleep in my own bed, in my own quiet house ... :-) Ahh, it's good to be home.

Secret #9

When I'm hanging out with my kids,

When I make them smile,

When we're mucking around,

When I'm reading to them,

When I'm giving them a bath,

When I'm chasing them around and around,

When we're having tickle fights,

Nothing else matters.

The world disappears. Problems don't exist.

I love that feeling. They are my world.

Secret #8

I don't like people who judge others.


Honestly? I think people who are racist are kind of disgusting.


No one should be bashed because of their sexual orientation.


People are different. Like crayons in a box ... We all gotta live together. ( ... That's that stupid saying, right?!)


Racism makes me sad. Homophobia makes me sad.
How do people get like that?

Secret #7

Every time I go home, I go and talk to Mel.
Sometimes I just sit there for a while.
It doesn't matter that she doesn't talk back. I don't care.
I just like still being able to talk to her.

Update on the Smurf

Yes, I have re-named Amy. From here on out, she will be known as Smurf ... Because she was born blue. Smart, huh? :-)

Seriously though, I didn't sleep much last night. I just had this feeling that if I fell asleep, something would happen. I don't know why. And I kept freaking out about the whole ICU thing, that's never a good thing when they send someone to the ICU. And she's only a little baby, so little and not strong and oh-my-god, what if the labor had gone on a bit longer, she could have died, and is she really going to be okay and I want to be there with Amanda, and ... what if this, what if that .... The thoughts just wouldn't stop! :-)

I did hear from my sister late this afternoon. Amy was moved from the neo-natal ICU this afternoon, and was in the room on the maternity ward with Amanda when she rang. My little smurf got her first bottle from mum today, and also had her first bath. She's got a fiesty temper, but is actually fairly quiet. She doesn't cry much. I found out she has blue eyes, just like her big sister. She's doing great, and the doctors are talking about mum and smurf going home tomorrow sometime, so that's great news :-)

I had today off work, and did bugger all :-) I went out for a while this morning to do some jobs, and driving home I went past the Bendigo Bank clock and the temprature on that was already at 35 degrees at 11 a.m. It got hot fast. I think we ended up getting to about 39. I spent the afternoon on the couch, just watching cricket, reading and sleeping. The phone woke me up a few times (I swear Telstra has made a fortune off my family in the last day and a half! Everyone's been calling mum & I to find out what's going on - not that we knew a whole lot!) but I had no trouble getting back to napland! I go back to work tomorrow, work Thursday as well, have Friday off, work Saturday and Sunday, then after work on Sunday mum and I are heading to Melbourne to see Amanda and Paul and their two gorgeous girls - Bug Eyes and Smurf. Ahh, my nieces are so going to hate me when they get older ... !!!!!!!!

Anyway, I better head to bed. Thanks for all the calls, emails and text messages yesterday and today. It was really appreciated.

Ok, I'm out! :-)

Secret #6

One of the (few) things I really like about myself is my smile.

I use it often :-)

Welcome to the world, Amy Lee! What a dramatic entrance!

Have just heard from my sister, who sounds like the drama of the day is starting to hit her.

Amy is still in the ICU, and is still blue. They are having a little trouble getting enough oxygen into her. Other than that though, she is doing ok. She hasn't yet opened her eyes, so they're unsure what colour her eyes are, but she has a full head of beautiful dark hair. She weighs 3.4 kilos, but hasn't been measured yet. She has a fiesty temper - every time the nurses go to do something to her, she screams and kicks up a fuss! What a great sign! :-)

Amanda's pretty upset, she hasn't been able to hold Amy yet. She's feeling fine, apart from being exhausted. She will be spending the night in the ICU beside Amy.

Will update more tomorrow ... :-)

UPDATE - 6:30 P.M.

Amy Lee Higgins entered the world at 2:27 p.m. today!

I guess my sister really was in labor this time!

Haven't got any more details, other than the time of birth. She was born blue, with the umbilical cord wrapped around her neck, so she was immediately taken the neo-natal ICU, where they were going to give her oxygen and make sure everything was ok. I'm still waiting to hear what's going on. Will update again later.




It's 8:50 a.m. and I'm dozing on and off. I don't start work til 11, why get out of bed when I don't have to?

The phone rings. This was pretty much the conversation.

"Hello?"
"Hello, it's me ... I think I'm in labor. Contractions are 5 minutes apart."
"Ok then ... You'd probably better get yourself to a hospital."
"Yes, I've already called everyone, got my bag ready and I'm good to go."
"Cool. Good luck then!"


So, not sure if it is labor or not ... Will let you know :-)

Secret #5.

The scar on my thigh?

That long, thin, white line?

September 14th, 2001.

The pain inside was so bad.

Most of the scars have faded.

The ones that remain make me so ashamed.

Secret #4

I scoffed when my mum and my sister told me that my niece looked like me when she was a baby ...

But ...

I loved that my niece looked like me when she was born. I don't know why, but ... It made me happy.

This photo always makes me smile. Damn, I love that kid.

Pete ... I love you.

Dude.

What can I say?

I love you.

I know that you're happily married.

I know you're wife is a hot blonde and I'm a chubby whatever-colour-I've-dyed-my-hair-this-week average looking chick.

I know that you've got two gorgeous kids.

I know that you're at least 10 years older than me.

But ask me if I care.

... Nup. Couldn't give a shit.

I friggin love you, man!

Anyone who installs two flat-panel tvs in their shop, so that anyone walking by, or working in a shop nearby, can see them, is going to get my love.

Especially when it's summer.

And ESPECIALLY when CRICKET IS ON.

Dude.

I love you.

The 2nd test started yesterday. Whilst I haven't been watching every single ball - because I've had to, you know, work - I've been able to get a score update WHENEVER I WANT, and on my lunch break, I could SIT, RELAX AND WATCH CRICKET.

Pete. Mate. You fuckin' rock. You ever wanna leave your wife? My door is always open for you, baby.


P.S. Rang my sister this afternoon after work ... No baby yet. No sign of the baby yet. She has been kickin up a storm though! :-)

Secret #3

Sometimes ... I get sick of catching everyone.

Sometimes ... I just want someone to catch me.

Secret #2

For 5 nights after I left Safeway, I cried all night. I barely slept, I didn't eat ... I felt as if I'd truly fucked up.

Secret #1

Despite what I've always said ... I really do want kids. And I do think that I would make a great mum.

Not much going on here ... Aside from the "false start" last night :-) I called my sister this morning, and she said everything's fine. The baby has moved down, and is "getting ready" - that made me laugh, picturing the baby packing a little suitcase and preparing for her "trip" - and they don't think it'll be much longer - maybe a couple of days. Who knows though! Amanda said she had a dream that Amy arrived on the 15th, which is tomorrow. I told Amanda that I'd be home all day tomorrow (not working) so if anything happens, ring me straight away! :-)

Like I said, not a real lot happening here ... Last Saturday was a friggin massive day at work. It was the first birthday of the Kangaroo Flat Market Centre, so all the shops in the centre had specials. We had a jumping castle and a merry-go-round thing in the car park for the kids. I started work at 8:30, and finished at 6. I can't remember being that tired in a long time :-) Pretty much died when I went to bed, and slept for like 10 hours :-) Before I got up and went to work and did it all over again ... !

I worked Monday as well, then had yesterday off, as well as today. Score! Today was Bendigo Cup day. I went out to work for a while, to check on Bec and Bree to see how they were doing. They said it had been dead all morning, at then everyone came at once so they were all flustered! I ended up staying for almost 2 hours, helping pack up. I hope I remembered to do everything ... ! And guess what ... I also have tomorrow off. THREE days in a row off! I haven't had that since I started!

Hey, has anyone read Andrew Johns' book, The Two of Me? I got it today for a couple of reasons - 1, I actually like Joey. From what I've seen on the Footy Show, I think that he seems like a pretty cool guy, and I cried for him when all that stuff came to light after the London thing. Who knew? and, 2, I want to know how much of the book is him, and how much is the ghostwriter. I know a lot of things will be exaggerated and played on, but it'll be interesting when reading it to see if you can pick what's real. Where have they taken 'creative license' with the book (if they have at all)? I just find something strange in the fact that this book came out so quickly after Joeys admissions of depression and bi-polar disorder ... Am I being too cynical?! I'm planning on starting it tonight or tomorrow.

I'm going to try to do something on here in the next few weeks - it's called 30 secrets in 30 days. The idea is to post 30 secrets - in photos - about myself, writing a few paragraphs with every photo. I've seen it done on other blogs, and I wanted to give it a go. Think I'll be able to do it?

Anyway, I might take off. I'm dog-sitting tonight - Christine's gone to the Killers concert in Melbourne - and I better go feed Jersey and let him have a run around outside. Check back tomorrow, I'll try to post the first of the 30 secrets :-) I'm out. Peace, love and laughter guys!

P.S. It appears I was a few days off with the baby ticker/counter thingy at the bottom of the page. I think she still has about 3 days to go before her actual due date. Not that most people will care ... But my nutty sister is a stickler for correct dates and getting facts right ... We are so not related!

Edit @ 2:40 a.m. - Joey's book? A hell of a lot better than I thought it would be. Seems to be pretty damn honest, and you can actually see that he's had a lot to do with the writing of the book - he hasn't just told some bloke a few stories and had most of it made up or exaggerated. I'm actually a little surprised at how good it is. Now, I gotta go get some sleep. I'm stuffed!

Update: 11:15 p.m. Amanda isn't in labor. My new little niece won't be arriving into the world tonight. They're not quite sure what the pains are, the symptoms are a little different to Braxton Hicks (?) - the false labor symptoms. They're keeping her in hospital for the night.


8:45 P.M.
My brother just rang to tell me my sister has gone to the hospital. She was having contractions that were 3 minutes apart when they left, but they have now gone out to 10 minutes apart, so they're not sure whether it's labor, or a false labour/Braxton Hicks thing she's got going on.

No more.

I thought of you yesterday.

I was driving home from work yesterday, and I went past a sports ground. There was a group of guys there, cricket training. I thought of you. And then I realised that you don't have cricket training on Wednesday, only on Tuesdays and Thursdays.

And then I talked to you last night.

At first, I was happy. It was cool, just chatting, about nothing, everything. For the first time all week, I felt relaxed. I smiled. I made you smile.

But then I realised I'm only making it hard on myself. I don't know that you care. Not the way I do, anyway. So you can make your own rules, and talk whenever you like, because it doesn't matter to you. It's nothing to you.

But it's something to me. And it means I'm always, always thinking, searching, trying to figure out what this means, or what you meant when you said that. When, in reality, it probably meant nothing to you. It was just ... Words.

So I'm stepping away, saying goodbye. Because I gotta. Before I drive myself nuts, and cause more tears.

No more.

Vent time ...

It really pisses me off when people make up their own rules, as they go along, with no regard to the thoughts or feelings of anyone else.

It is a selfish, inconsiderate and often hurtful thing to do. You mess with peoples feelings and emotions, all because you just want to do what you want.

Why don't you stop and think? Why don't you realise what a manipulative arse you're being?

I'm out.