So.

A couple of weeks back, I went to a free legal centre to get some advice on reopening my case, and getting the police to review their decision. The lawyer I spoke to was awesome. She was really helpful, and even though I felt a little like she tried to talk me out of asking them to review the case, I think she was just trying to ensure I really understood what I would be in for if we were successful in getting the police to press charges.

Anyway. Since then, it's been a rough couple of weeks. We lost one of our people at work, unexpectedly. She passed away in her sleep, at only 43 years old. She is - was - one of the most beautiful people I know. She was so content with her life, even though it wasn't perfect. She was quiet, but always quick to laugh and have a joke. She had OCD, and led a very regimented life, but she was so happy within herself. She didn't give a damn what anyone thought of her. The same day, one of our guys was taken away in an ambulance with a suspected heart attack. He spent some time in hospital, and although they couldn't figure out what was wrong, he has been released and they're sure it was something other than a heart attack.

In the middle of all that, I missed a call from the lawyer. She was ringing to tell me that she'd spoken to the police, and they strongly advised against reviewing the case because they didn't think there was much point. She didn't give the reasons why - I had to ring to make an appointment for tomorrow (Friday 14th) to find out why.

I always said that I didn't care if the review went nowhere. At least I'd tried, right? No stone unturned. I didn't want to have any regrets. I could deal with the answer either way, and I'd be okay.

But I won't lie ... When I heard the voicemail from the lawyer, saying that there didn't seem to much point in pursuing it, I wanted to cry. The disappointment was crushing. Again. Been there, done that, didn't expect to do it again. Sometimes I hate being an optimist. It friggin stinks.

So I guess I'll head to this appointment tomorrow, and see what the lawyer has to say. I'm sure you'll hear from me again tomorrow night ... One way or the other :)