Here we go again ...

Last year, this happened.

Won't go into any more detail ... Suffice to say, it was one of the hardest things we've gone through as a family.

Since then, my brother and his girlfriend have broken up, got back together, moved back in together (regardless of the Protection Order DHS took out for Jordyn stating that Darren wasn't allowed to live with Jordyn). I've now lost all respect I had for my brothers girlfriend. She put Jordyn back in a shitty situation, and why? So she could be with Darren.

There's been a few incidents that have left niggling doubts in my mind about whether Darren should be around Jordyn. Jordyn broke his collarbone. Darren claimed it was because he'd thrown himself on the ground during a temper tantrum. There were some bruises on Jordyn in some photos they sent mum. Just normal kid stuff?

Anyway. Last week, when I was home at mum and dads, my brother rang. At 3 a.m. Drunk. He'd just kicked in a door and smashed a window.

Yeah. That's the kind of environment you want a three year old kid in.

Friday, when I got back to Bendigo. What was the very first thing I did?

Went online, looking for the number of FACS (Family and Childrens Services, as DHS is called in the NT). Once I'd found the number, I rang.

I rang knowing that this would probably tear my family apart again.

I rang knowing that Darren would think I was only doing this to hurt him.

I rang knowing that I'd just dumped my brother in so much deep shit that it was likely that not only would he lose Jordyn, but Lorri would probably lose Jordyn as well.

I rang knowing that the details that I'd given would soon give me away. It won't take them long to realise who has dobbed them in.

But when it comes down to it? I don't really care.

I know my family will get through this. We're strong. My mum can do anything, can hold it together through everything. We'll do what has to be done.

I know that it will be my fault. But I can live with that.

Because, really? All I care about is Jordyn. I want that kid to be happy. I want him to be allowed to play. I want him to be allowed to be a little bit naughty sometimes. All kids are. He should be able to laugh and do something he knows he's not meant to do, without being scared that dad will beat him for it. I want him to grow up in a home that doesn't have a drunk father. I want him to grow up in a house where the number one priority is JORDYN.

Anyway. I guess only time will tell what happens.

Hypothetically ...

If you are a male, visiting the house of a female, for more than 6 hours at a time, in a house filled with females, is it so damn unreasonable to expect that you will PUT THE DAMN TOILET SEAT DOWN AFTER YOU FINISH?!?!?!?!

I'm sorry, but I find it really, really rude and it's PISSING ME OFF. How hard is it to put the damn seat down?!

Rants ... And talking Smurfese.

There are a couple of things on my mind tonight. There's going to be a few *rants*, then a normal entry. If you don't want to read my rage, skip to the last part.

****

Firstly ... This person that I know. This person is not a friend, not a relative, not someone I particularly like, but this person was at my house the other night.

Then, the TAC ad came on tv. The one that always makes me tear up.

This person watched for a few seconds, turned to me and said, "You know, when I watch this ad, I want to kill all those people. Seriously."

WTF???

I don't even know where to start. Even though I was in MY HOUSE, I walked out.

How fucked in the head do you have to be to even think something like that? Never mind actually saying it out loud to another person. What kind of freak is he?

I was literally stunned. This wasn't said as a joke (even though it's OBVIOUSLY a hilarious joke, or at least he would think so), or by someone who was trying to be sarcastic. He was serious, and it is psychopathic. I'm kicking myself now for not calling him on it and telling him to get the hell out of my house.

*****

I worked on Saturday. I worked with someone who ignored me for half the time, then spoke to me like I was a piece of dog shit on her shoe the rest of the time.

It was not pleasant, and by the time she left work, I was very upset.

I kept my temper though. I figured I'd wait until my boss came in later that day, talk calmly to her about it and figure something out. So I did.

Only to be told that yes, the person has an attitude problem. But no, my boss isn't going to do a damn thing about it.

Why? Because in five (yes, 5) weeks, my boss is going to Malaysia with her family and will need the person to work during that time.

In five (5) weeks.

In FIVE (5) WEEKS you could easily fire this person, hire and train someone new to do the job, and go enjoy your Malaysian holiday.

The job is not that difficult. I've picked up almost everything I need to know by doing TWO shifts a week for the last TWO weeks. In FOUR shifts, there's not much that I haven't learnt.

Bottom line is, I don't get paid enough to deal with this shit. I don't need it, and I don't want it. Dealt with it at Safeway and at KFMC, and I'm not doin it again. The boss doesn't want to say anything? Fine. I will.

****

(**Warning: Trashy tv talk ahead**)

Nobbi. How in the hell is he still on Big Brother? He's a bully. What he did to Travis was cruel, malicious and totally unnecessary. He knew exactly what he was doing. It wasn't "in-your-face" "tough" bullying, but it was bullying all the same.

****

So called "friends". Here's a tip for you. If you choose when you feel like being my friend, you're not a friend. I don't ask a lot from friends, but I will not be ignored and made to feel like nothing because you're busy jerking off or something. Grow the hell up. What is wrong with you? You have no other friends, (and you know that's the truth) and you're alienating the ONE friend you do have?

It's no skin off my nose if you want to do this. I have other friends around me, other people I care about, and laugh with. You? You're going to end up alone, and you'll wonder why. Maybe it's time to make a change ...

****

Ok. Rant time is over. I'm turning from a bitter, twisted individual back into me ... *lol*

I got to see Baby Smurf and Bug Eyes earlier this week. It was awesome. Bug Eyes (who's three in two weeks time) has turned into one very stubborn, very determined and very bossy child. All normal ... And hilarious. Some of the things she comes out with literally make me cry with laughter.

And Baby Smurf? Two words ...

Friggin. Gorgeous.

:-) *lol* She's a smiler. She smiles from the minute she wakes up until the minute she goes back to bed. She's "talking" to herself in Smurfese, and she's got the cutest little grunts and sounds. She thinks her Aunty Snappz is hilarious - what a coincidence! I think that too! - and I loved every second of making her laugh.

Anyway. Haven't done a footy update in a while - I'll get caught up in the next couple of days, I promise. Have to go now because it's time for STATE OF ORIGIN! Game two is on tonight ... GO BLUES! It's 7:30 and it's just about to start.

Peace out!

Sorry about the language ...

Hi.

What's up?

I don't really have much to say.

I'm in a foul mood. I'm not really sure why.

Partly because I feel like crap. I've got the headache from hell. And I spent most of last night struggling to breathe. Don't know what's going on there.

I was almost late to work this morning. I was still awake at 5 a.m., so I got up and put my heater on, figuring that by the time I got up for work at 8, the house would be nice and toasty. I remember looking at the clock at 7:30 ... and THEN I must have fallen asleep. (I had all freaking night to sleep. I couldn't do it then?) I woke up and it was 9:10. I had to be at work at 10. It's been taking me like 25 - 30 minutes to drive to work, because all of a sudden they want to fix every freaking road in Bendigo, and there are three lots of roadworks on my way to work. But anyway, I made it.

Work was ok. I got home at 3:30, and pretty much went straight to bed. Got woken at 7 by my phone ringing. Took me a while to wake up and realise what it was. It was my sister, ringing to say hi. I think she guessed that I wasn't in the best mood, as we only spoke for about 15 minutes. Usually my sister will crap on for an hour or more. I would say talk, but she doesn't really talk. I love her, but she just craps on about not much at all. An average conversation with my sister lasts about 60 - 80 minutes. That's why I never ring unless I know I have at least an hour spare. Usually she'll tell me the same story at least three times in any conversation. She figured out that I'd just woken up, because I couldn't really think clearly enough to form words, so I didn't have much to say.

Anyway. I'm still pretty fucked, I don't know if I'm coming down with something or what, but I'm exhausted, so I think I might head back to bed. I was going to get something to eat, but I ate half a chocolate bunny before, so fuck it, I'm going to call that dinner and be done with it.

Open letter to Mr. Blogger

Dear Mr. Blogger,

You, my friend, are a fucker.

And I hate you.

Now, I realise that this is a big claim, so I have some evidence to back myself up and explain just why you are a fucker.

Tonight, I decided to change the layout, and font/colours of my blog.

I went into 'Templates' and selected the new template for my blog.

No worries there.

Then I went into 'Fonts and Colours' to personalise my page.

FIVE TIMES I went into fonts and colours.

FIVE TIMES your stupid piece of crap blogger froze on me.

FIVE TIMES I had to press control+alt+delete to start all over again.

What the hell, Mr. Blogger?

Do you not want people to have individualised blogs? Do you want little blogger clones running all over the place? Do you want people having the exactly the same blog as 500,000 other people? Well, that is not cool, Mr. Blogger.

Not cool at all.

Now, I am going to try once more, and if it doesn't work, someone may have to call me an ambulance, as I'm sure my blood pressure will be rising to stroke level.

Mr. Blogger, fucker, please address this problem at once.

Thankyou.

Yours sincerely,
A very pissed blogger user.

P.S. You stressed me out soooo much that I had to go and have a smoke, and THEN, I had to have a caffeine hit via a can of Coke. I expect to be reimbursed for that one cigarette and one can of Coke.

P.P.S. (35 minutes later...): I have managed to make a few changes. Very slow process, and I'll do the rest tomorrow. Ok, I'm going to bed now. 4 hours sleep Monday night + 4 hours last night = a very tired little me.

Peace, I'm out.

(Not peace to you though, Mr Fucker. I'm still mad at you.)

Life keeps on dropping bombs and I keep score

I don't know. Slightly upset ...
Lorri rang tonight. Wanted to know if she can come stay at the end of May, going home after my birthday. Of course I said that's fine. I've always said she's welcome here, even if she wasn't the mother of my nephew, she would still be a part of our family, even though her and the f***wit are no longer together.
(By the way, from now on, I will no longer be mentioning my brother by his name. Henceforth, he will be known as the f***wit. Just so there's no confusion.)
Anyway, Lorri was upset, because the f***wit had told her she wasn't welcome at my house, and she wasn't *allowed* to visit me.
Yeah. Not *allowed* to visit me.
God, I don't even know. What the ...???
So, while I was on the phone to Lorri, just as we said goodbye actually, the call waiting beeped. So I hung up and dialed *10# and my sister's number came up. So I rang, and the f***wit answered, so I asked what he wanted. He wanted to know if I'd been talking to Lorri. I said yes, then told him he had no right to tell her that she wasn't welcome at my house.
Then I hung up. No goodbye. Just the spurt of anger, then ... just ... I don't know.
So now, I'm just ... really down.
I don't know how things got so stuffed up, I really don't.
And it really gets to me that my mother keeps saying "you need to get over it. Just forget it. Don't worry about it."
Well, excuse me, but fuck that for a joke.
My whole life, I have just cruised along. Taking whatever got dished out, never causing any problems, not making waves, watching as Amanda and the f***wit caused dramas and problems.
And I've had enough.
What he (the f***wit) did was unforgivable. He abused a child. He hit a child. His OWN child. His SON. He was an abusive bastard. And instead of taking responsibility for his actions, instead of trying to change, he's still manipulating, lying, causing trouble, drinking, and being a bastard.
I'm not "letting it go". I'm not going to "get over that". Because to me, the most important thing, the most important person in this whole mess, is Jordyn. I want the BEST for that kid. I love him so much, and HE is my number ONE priority. And I won't have anything to do with the f***wit until he is a DECENT, caring, normal father to that gorgeous little man. I will not speak to him until he has changed, until he has shown that he DESERVES to be a part of Jordyn's life. He DESERVES a father who won't hit him, who won't abuse him, who won't swear at him. He DESERVES to be a kid.
And if it doesn't happen? If the f***wit doesn't change? Then I will ring Human Services. I will ring the police. I will do whatever I can to keep him away from my gorgeous little nephew. I will do what I have to.
Pretty simple, really.
And in the meantime? I won't back down. I will talk to my mother. I will talk to my father. I will talk to my sister. But I will NOT talk to the f***wit. And I will not "let it go".

F***ING harvey norman ... coarse language ahead! be warned.

so today, i got my computer back, after harvey norman fucked me around like you wouldnt believe.
and guess what?
tomorrow my computer will go back to goddamn h.n. because half they keys on my keyboard are NOT WORKING! im typing this with the stupid on screen keyboard. AND THE KEYBOARD WAS FINE BEFORE IT WAS SENT FOR REPAIRS!
and it's also come back with MARKS ON THE SCREEN!
un-fucking-believable!
so now im going to lose my computer for ANOTHER 4 WEEKS! while THEIR fuckups get fixed!
un-fucking-believble!
and this is taking way too long so i give up.
GRR!!