Jury Duty, Day One/Final Day ... And other random stuff.

Yup. Day one of jury duty was also my final day! :o) *lol* I was reading the info sheet that I got with my jury summons, and something occurred to me. I'd answered one of the questions, and realised I'd answered wrong. The right answer actually made me ineligible for jury service. So I trundled off to the court this morning, and my morning went something like this:

10:15 - Arrive at the court, wait on the steps with about 50 other people. It's raining and cold.

10:25 - The Jury Pool Supervisor comes to get us all, in a loooong line we climb three flights of stairs and get squashed into a room that would be better suited for about 30 people.

10:30 - Jury Pool Supervisor (JPS) reads out all our names to make sure we're all accounted for. Only one person (Arthur Feemble) has not arrived.

10:30 - 10:45 - JPS asks if anyone wishes to change their occupation on the official sheet, and has to ask all those retired people what their occupation was before they retired. While she is doing this, we hear what we assume is a car alarm going off.

10:45 - Alarm is still going. JPS goes to investigate. Comes back to tell us that it is in fact the courts fire alarm, and we all have to evacuate. So we all go back down three flights of stairs, into the cold and the rain, running into the firemen on our way down. I pull the JPS aside to ask if I can still serve - she isn't sure.

10:55 - Alarm is deemed to be false. Once again, it's back up the stairs.

11:00 - Everyone's back in the room. It's time to discuss travel allowence for those who live more than 8km from the court, as they get 30 cents for every kilometre they travel one way (or something ... ?!) JPS puts on a video for us to watch while she goes to talk to the judge.

11:35 - JPS comes back and (thank god!) turns off the video (which isn't finished, but I guess she'd figured they'd tortured us for long enough). Announces that we will be going into court shortly. JPS pulls me aside and tells me that I can go home - I am ineligible to serve on the jury. Woo hoo!

So that was my very exciting day in court ... *lol*

~*~*~

This afternoon when I got home, I made lunch and then decided to laze about on the couch for a while. I ended up falling asleep. I had a really weird dream - I dreamt about Mel. I dreamt of the last time I saw her - three days before she died. In real life, I was walking to work, and she drove past me. She stopped, and I told her I couldn't stop because I was on my way to work, I was in a hurry. I told her that I'd see her when she got back - not knowing that I would never get the chance. In my dream, I stopped. I told her not to go. I told her to take someone else with her. I begged her not to drive when she was tired. I told her not to be an idiot, not to hurry. It's weird. I used to dream of her often when she first died. I would have dreams when I would tell her not to take him, not to drive, or let him drive when she was tired. I would yell at her, telling her she had to be careful. But I haven't had a dream like that in ages.

About 30 minutes ago, I went and sat on my back step to have a smoke. I had my MP3 player going. One of the songs that was played at Mel's funeral was Uncle Krackers "Follow Me". About 3 months before Mel died, I was in Melbourne. I'd spent the week staying with my cousin. I got on the train on the Sunday night. School went back the next day. I was in year 12, and we had set texts for English. I'd taken one of the books that we were meant to read over the holidays with me to Melbourne, but I hadn't even looked at it. I got on the train with a plan - a plan to read the entire way from Melbourne to Kerang. The train was packed, so I found my seat and opened up the book (It was boring as all hell!). I barely noticed when someone sat across from me. As the train pulled away from the station, i looked up to see the city. It was then I noticed the girl who had sat across from me.
It was Mel.
I hadn't seen her in months, and there she was, sitting there grinning at me, like the bloody cheeky thing she was! When it finally clicked (I sat there staring for about 15 seconds) she cracked up laughing!
I turned off the CD walkman I was listening to, and Mel asked what CD was in there. It was Uncle Kracker. My cousin and I had spent literally all day Saturday trying to find the "Follow Me" single. We went to three different shopping centres, and well over a dozen music stores. Everyone had sold out. We'd finally managed to find two copies at Knox. We talked about that for a while, Mel saying she loved the song. Then we talked about everything else, somehow making the 3 and a half hour trip disappear. Needless to say, when we got to Kerang, I'd not read any of the book, my plan had somehow gotten lost.

Anyway, when I went out for my smoke before, just as I sat down, "Follow Me" started playing.

I don't know whether I believe in 'signs'. I know a lot of people do, they believe things they see, or things that happen to them, are because of people who they have loved and lost making their presence known. I guess it's always seemed to me like those people were so desparately clutching at anything, something, in their grief. Whatever helps, right? Whatever makes the grief easier to deal with? And who would judge? You may not believe, but you don't judge. You don't think it's stupid, or ridiculous, you just don't believe.


Now the whole dream & song playing just as I sit down doesn't bother me. Maybe it was a sign? I often hear that song, or one of the other songs played at Mel's funeral, on the radio, or on a CD. It will often make me smile. Once upon a time, when the grief was raw, when I tried to deny what happened, I could cry everytime I heard one of the songs. But now, I smile. Think of that wicked sense of humour, that infectious smile. I think of Mel. The gorgeous person she was.


It's been raining pretty much all day here. While I was having my smoke, I looked up. The sky had turned a reddy/pink colour, and the sun was peaking through. For some reason, something in my mind just *screamed* MEL! It was pretty bizzare.

Do you think it was a sign? Someone trying to make her presence felt? Or was it just a few coincidences, thrown together, that didn't mean anything?

~*~*~

Ok, I'm out ... Thanks for sticking with me while I rambled on! What a nice long entry that was.
Peace, love and laughter!

Rise and shine!

Rise and shine ... Rise and shine ... Rise and shine!
*lol* It's not that early, but I have been up since 6, so now I'm well and truly awake! :o) Rise and SHINE!
Did you know it's freeeezing at 6 am?! *lol* It all seems so weird to me now, I've gotten used to sleeping in, and getting up when it's slightly warmer, but I used to get up at 4 am, when it would be -3 or -4, to go to walk to work at Safeway *lol*. I don't know how I did that ... :-P I think I've gotten spoilt!
Not much news from here ... As usual :o)
La-de-da-de-da ... Postsecret is great this week, (as usual) and Kristie is back from vacation, and while she was away, she brought a house! Huh?! *lol* Lillie is improving every day, which is terrific! Hmm ... I think that's about it. I'm getting slack ... :-P *lol*
Anyway, I'm going to get going ... I better go do my hair ... Since it currently looks like utter crap! :o) Have a great day, guys! I'm out. Peace, love and laughter! :o)

Monday!

Hello and welcome to your Monday! (Which is nearly over, but ahh well!)

~*~*~

Rang the jury line before, and crap crap crap, I'm required to attend court tomorrow. I kinda figured I wouldn't get called (I'm not sure why, I just did) and I'd actually made plans to go out to lunch with a friend tomorrow ... Oops!

~*~*~

Ryan's Naming Day was on Saturday! Scroll down to check out some of the photos I took. It was a great day, it didn't rain, and everyone really enjoyed themselves! What more can you ask for?! The guest of honour got slightly grumpy during the actual naming ceremony, but that's because he hadn't slept well the night before. Overall, Ryan did so well, no nap all day until a bit after 4 p.m.! He fell asleep while Ang was opening his presents!! Not bad considering he'd been up since 6 a.m.! :o)

~*~*~

Christine ... You are in disgrace. Not only do you go to my place of worship WITHOUT me, you do it on my holy day AND you don't get me anything! Oh ... You in twouble!

~*~*~

Was in bed at 9 last night (yeah...seriously!) and slept right through until 5 this morning. Course, then I woke up and couldn't get back to sleep! Ha! Hopefully tonight's the same (although going to sleep & waking up a little later would be nice...!)

~*~*~

Yes, I know Collingwood lost. It hurts, it hurts ... It hurts. That's ok. There's always next week, and I have no doubt the boys will get up and kick some Bomber arse. God, I wish Mel was still here ... We'd be giving each other shit all week before the game. Mel ... No "heavenly help" for your team! Watch my boys open a can of whup-arse! ;o)

~*~*~

I sent in my tax form thingy today. I know you guys probably couldn't care less ... This is for me. I need to keep a note of the date, so I know when I sent it in/how long it's been. And since I'm too lazy and/or forgetful to write it down on a piece of paper (plus, who am I kidding? I'd lose the paper in about 3 seconds), I'll put it on here ... And hope that I remember putting it on here in a weeks time.

~*~*~

Barrie: Now, Teagan was there any reason you were not on time this morning? That is, is there any reason why you were not here at 9:30 as you should have been.
Tegan: Ummm ... I was .... Uhhh .... I was late?
Barrie: Yes ... But why? Is there a reason you were late?
Tegan: Oh. Nup.

Yes, JST is going well ... 2 new people started today. Tegan was one of them ... Not a very nice girl ... I felt like calling her a skank :o) *lol* Yeah, seriously. She was rude, ignorant, and racist. What a charming combination, huh?! And dog-girl showed up again! Without the dog though, and she didn't end up staying because she had a disagreement with Barrie, who then refused to work with her, so she took off. Ahh, it was funny! :o)

~*~*~

The latest Harry Potter movie? Crap. Went to see it on Friday night with Steen. I prefer the books. Too much missed out in the movies, too much changed. Bloody crap! :o) Can't wait for the last book to come out ... Have already pre-ordered my copy :o) Will be there bright and early Saturday morning to pick it up ... Nobody will hear from me this weekend!

~*~*~

Ok, I think that's about it. Hope you all had a great day.
I'm out! Peace, love and laughter! :o)

Ryan's Naming Day!

Ryan's Thomas the Tank birthday cake!

Ryan with one of his (many!) presents. He scored some great pressies!

Ang and Ryan, getting ready to cut the cake.

Ryan ... Getting tired at the end of the day.

The reason we were all invited to a party today: Ryan!

L-R: Sue (Civil Celebrant), Vince (holding Ryan), Rob (Ryan's Godfather) and Ang.

L - R: Vince (holding Ryan), Ang, Rach, Rob.

The Godparents! Rob and I with Ryan.

Ang and Rob with Ryan (who looks like he's spotted mum's earrings ... Look out Ang!)

Ryan's Naming Day Speech

I'm so happy to be here today, celebrating Ryan's naming day with him, and all of you.

I know many of you have been asked to write wishes for Ryan, and I thought I'd share with you a few of my wishes for Ryan.

My wish for Ryan is that he has many more days like this - days where he is surrounded by love, laughter, fun, good food and good times.

My wish for Ryan is that he lives a full life, learning a little from every person here today, and a little from the mistakes he makes as he chooses his own path in life.

My wish for Ryan is that he grows up to have the strength and humour of his mum, and the quiet determination and peaceful nature of his dad.

My wish for Ryan is that he looks back at this day, and realizes he is blessed to have so many people surrounding him who love him.

To Ang and Vince, I say thankyou for allowing me the honour of being Ryan's Godmother. I feel so lucky to have such a gorgeous and special little boy as my godson. I will always be there for Ryan, no matter what he may need, or what the situation may be. I will always be the best Godmother I can be, and I will stand by this promise to Ryan.

Filling in time! :o)

Well, I have 15-20 minutes before I have to leave for JST, so I figured I'd do a quick entry since my hair is all pretty and I have clothes on :-P *lol*
The news on Lillie isn't great, unfortunately. At the moment (nearly 48 hours out from surgery), she is only responsive to painful stimuli. The doctors know there is some neurological damage, the only question is how much. My heart breaks for this gorgeous little girl and her amazing family. How can life be so unfair??
In other CB news ... Hunter is out of hospital! Yay! I haven't been checking on as many of the kids as I usually do, so I won't do a full update here. If you want to know how they're doing, look to the right of the page and follow the links :o)
Not much news from here ... Rang my sister yesterday ... And almost hung up on her :o) *lol* She was in a foul mood, and swearing all over the place ... Ahh, nice! I'll give her a week then see if she's still grumpy.
JST is going well. Still hoping that jury duty doesn't take too long so I can get it knocked over next week ... I really don't want it to drag on. Today will be Matt's last day, which is a pity, I really like Matt. He's fairly quiet, and I always think he'd scream if he saw his own shadow! :o) But he's friendly, and it'll be sad to see him go. We had a "dog-girl" show up on ... Tuesday? I think it was (she actually also turned up one day last week as well). She was this hippy kind of chick, who came in with a bag over her shoulder (containing a dog - one of those little rat things - a Paris Hilton kind of dog), a bag over her arm, a violin case on her back, and the whole beanie/funny hat thing going on. Barrie, who's usually easy going, immediately raised his voice and told her the dog wasn't appropriate, and to get it out! So she and her her dog disappeared, and haven't been seen since. She was meant to attend yesterday, so I don't know what's going on there. It will be interesting to see if she shows up today.
Craig is still there, and still sitting next to me. Every. Single. Freakin. Day! Grr. Yesterday I heard his theories about how the crops are all good, so the price of food isn't because of inflation or bad crops, it's Howard's fault ... Eh? I also heard his theory on how there will be another "Tampa" Crisis (The refugee/boat crisis that happened before the last Federal Election) so the country sees what happens ... EH??! And he shared with me that we should "send them all back to their own countries". I'm not sure who "they" are, I think he meant everyone in Australia that was not born here? It's very ... Interesting!

Anyway, I gotta take off. Peace, love and laughter.

Random Mutterings ... #6

1) I have an itchy foot.

2) No news on Lillie so far - The outpouring of support for the Boyte Family has been pretty amazing though! Want to get in on the act? Go visit Lillie and her family at www.caringbridge.org/visit/lillieboyte and say Hi! I'm sure they would really appreciate it.

3) After a *great* nights sleep last night (I was in bed at 10:30 and slept through until 7 this morning! :o)) I'm back to the "I'm-so-freaking-tired-but-I-can-not-get-to-sleep" thing. Which is really annoying. I have to be up at 7 again tomorrow morning and I can't see myself going to sleep anytime soon. I was so tired I went to bed at 10, and have been staring at the ceiling ever since. So finally I gave up and got up to check on Lillie, and to do an entry.

4) Yes, I know I've not done an entry since Saturday and now I've done two in the one day. Deal with it :o) The truth? I'm a very boring person! There's really not that much to blog about.

5) Ryan's Naming Day ... Yes, it's this Saturday. THIS Saturday! And I still haven't written my speech. What am I meant to say??! Went to visit Ang yesterday afternoon and she said I also have to read a poem ... Oh dear god, they are trying to kill me ... Argh!

6) JST is still going. Still boring. Missed most of this morning (only went for the first hour as I wasn't feeling well) so I'll have to make up that time somewhere. Jury duty is next week. Ohh, how exciting! *lol* I'm hoping that I (a) either don't get selected to sit on a jury, or (b) get selected and the trial only goes for a couple of days. I'm really anxious to get it over and done with so that I can start my new job.

7) No news on the name of my niece, who will be making her arrival into this world in November. For certain people who have asked, the due date is the 18th November.

8) Have you checked out PostSecret this week? There were no new secrets posted last week, but Frank (the founder of PostSecret) is back, better than ever this week.

9) A quick wrap up of a few other CaringBridge kids, should you want to check on them ... Hunter is in-patient at the moment, and doesn't look like getting out anytime soon! Anna-Jane is doing ok, but it doesn't seem like she has a lot of time left with her family. Kaitlyn finds out tomorrow the extent of her relapse, and I'm sure her mum would appreciate knowing that people are thinking of her at this tough time. Dylan had a great day out the other day, and is looking foward to his dad and brother joining he and his mum full time in the US! Finally the family can be together again. Matty's mum is missing her boy. Hannah's mum is also missing her little princess, and finding memories in the little things :o) Elizabeth is finally out of hospital! Woo hoo! Let's hope the Westberry tribe can avoid all hospitals for a while. Kayla has taken off on a vacation, which is well-deserved! Jake's family put on one heck of a fundraiser in memory of their little man, and raised a heap of money to help other kids with cancer. How awesome is that!

10) Ok, I think I might take off, and try to get some sleep.

Peace, love and laughter. I'm out :o)

Lillie

Got 5 minutes?
Go say Hi to Lillie and her family: www.caringbridge.org/visit/lillieboyte.
Lillie is a gorgeous little girl. She is 3 years old and she has neuroblastoma. Lillie was rushed into surgery this morning (Australian time) after doctors found 2 tumors at the base of her skull.
The next 24 hours for Lillie will be crucial. Doctors aren't sure what kind of neurological damage has been done.
Lillie has two sisters - a younger baby sister (2 weeks old) named Eva and an older sister Hannah (who's 5).
I'm sure Lillie's mum and dad would appreciate prayers, good thoughts, positive vibes into the universe, sacrificial chickens or whatever floats your boat as they deal with this latest setback. The family are not in their home town at the moment, as Lillie gets chemo and treatment in New York at Sloan Kettering, which can't make the situation any easier for the Boyte family.
So go say Hi to Lillie and her family. Don't know what to say? Just let them know you're thinking of them. I'm sure they'd appreciate it more than you realise.

Ok, I'm out. Peace, love and laughter.

Today was "U-Day" - Ultrasound Day, that is. (For my sister, not me ...! *lol*)
And about 1:30 I had a phonecall to say ... "You're getting a new ...



... ... ... Niece!"


Yay! I'm so happy! Of course, I'd be equally as thrilled if it was a boy. As long as the baby is healthy, that's all that matters :o)
So now I've started a campaign to get my name somewhere in there ... And my sister told me they were considering Jade Rachel, which of course thrilled me no end! *lol* But, my sister was convinced she was having a boy, so they hadn't really given any thought to girls names at all, so I have no doubt the end name for the baby will probably be totally different :o)

Not much other news from here. As my (brief) post said yesterday, I did get the job! I don't start for another 2 weeks though. Heather didn't see the point in doing a shift or two this week, then having a week off for (freakin) jury duty, so I won't be starting until that's all over.
My sister has decided not to visit this week, both her and Amber (my niece) have the flu at the moment, so they're staying home :o)
That's about it for now.

Cheers!
Make sure you laugh today! :o)


What the?! I just tried to type in a title for this entry and it won't let me??! *lol*

I

GOT

THE

JOB!

Random Mutterings ... #5

So, the other day, Christine was telling me about Jason, who said he was going to call on a certain day, then didn't call. However, when he did call, he made up an excuse, which was clearly a lie, about why he hadn't called.
This is something I cannot stand. And last night, something similar happened to me. Someone has lied to me, and I cannot understand why.
Now, this won't be a rant, I promise. Or, if it is a rant, I will make it a little one :o) I just can't understand why people who say they'll call/talk/visit/do something on a certain day or at a certain time, then feel that they have to lie if they don't follow through.
Now, fair enough if something comes up, and you genuinely can't follow through on your promise. Things happen, right? Sometimes things come up or something happens unexpectedly, and it changes things. And that's cool. If it's genuine, then of course you get that, you'll understand things, and there's no problem.
But when someone tells you what is obviously a lie ... Well ... I just do not get that! Why not just be honest? "Ok, I didn't call/visit last night because I was busy/didn't feel like talking/went out with friends". How hard is that? I'm not going to hate you. I'm not going to yell, or get angry. I am going to respect you however, if you tell the truth. If you're honest. How hard is it?

*~*~*

It is freezing here today. It's been raining fairly steadily all morning. When I came home after JST at 12:30, I looked at the temp/time thing they have over the Bendigo Bank, and it was 6 degrees! 6! *lol* It was freaking freezing, and I was walking into the wind and rain, which wasn't fun! :o)

*~*~*

Anyone have any ideas on my speech for Ryan's naming day?. I've got nothin'! Anyone? Please? ... Help ...! *lmao* ... I have nothing but the first line. I 'googled' and ask.com'd "baby naming day speeches" ... And I got ... Nothin'! Someone help me! If you have any ideas, leave me a comment, or email me :o)

*~*~*

Tomorrow ... Trial shift at the cafe, which means no JST, which means *Sleep In*! Trial isn't starting til 12, so I don't have to get out til 9:30 or 10. Woo hoo! :o)

*~*~*

NSW won Origin 3 last night. Of course, it didn't matter, since the series had already been decided after Game 2, but it was nice that the series wasn't a whitewash. It was a close game for about 70 minutes, but in the 71st and 78th minutes, NSW scored tries, which blew the score out to 18-4. A lot of controversy today about whether Dallas Johnstone (Johnson?) from QLD should have been allowed back on the ground after he was knocked out in the first minute. He went in for a tackle, and ended up flat on his back. When he finally got up, you could tell he barely knew where he was. He ended up getting back into the game, which has a lot of people asking "What the hell, Queensland team doctors?!" The QLD team doctors say he was cleared to go back onto the ground, and passed all their tests, but Melbourne coach Craig Bellamy (who's Dallas's normal coach) raised an interesting point when he asked if the QLD team doctors would have put him back on the field if he was their son. I thought that was a good point to make. Hopefully Dallas can back up for the Storm's game this weekend without any ill effects.

*~*~*

Personally, today is a pretty crappy day for me. It was 5 years ago today that I lost two mates in a car accident. They were coming home from Uni together on a Friday night, when they hit an oil spill on the road as it started raining. It was no one's fault, there was no stupidity or reckless driving involved, it was truly an accident. Doesn't make it any easier to deal with though, and doesn't make it hurt any less. I will never forget the day I attended two funerals in the one day. I will never forget all the tears cried for the 2 18 year olds who were just really starting their lives. Who were both beautiful, amazing people. Who will never, ever be forgotten.

*~*~*

Ok, I'm out. Peace, love, and laughter.

JST - Day 3 Highlights!

Barrie: Now, Rachel has raised a very interesting point ... Jury duty, and what happens if you get called up. You don't mind me discussing this with the group, do you Rachel?
Me: (busy day-dreaming about jumping suit boys bones [suit boy is HOT!]) Eh?
Barrie: Ok then ... Now, I myself have been called up for jury duty 6 times. Only 3 times was I selected to sit on the jury ... Once was a culpable driving case ... ... (Etc, etc, etc ... For 20 minutes. 20. Minutes.)

Long story short - No one knows whether I have to put jury duty or JST first. Or whether I can put jury duty down as some kind of work.

****

Craig: (who *always* sits next to me! damnit!) You know, it's fuckin John Howards fault that we're here. Him and that boat. If it hadn't been for the boat, he'd be gone. And did ya see the handshake? Ha! There's no unions anymore, all his fucking fault.
Me: Eh?

****

Geoff: Political correctness is bullshit (sticks middle finger up in the air, to prove the point)

****

Barrie: Now, I recall a young lady, who was paid to dress in a lycra suit and go around promoting PADMAN ... You have to be careful with lycra. There's not much that you can't see. I have a suspicion that she may have been an exhibitionist.
Me: {thinking} How the hell did we get onto this topic? And how exactly is this going to get me a job? Maybe I should stop tuning about. This is probably *really* important.
Craig: Wonder if the chick had big tits.


Ok, gotta go, Origin 3 is about to kick off. GO BLUES! Let's hope NSW win, that way it won't be a series whitewash.

So tonight I'm feeling winded ... Long-winded that it, so it might be a long entry :o) *lol*
Started Job Seeker Training yesterday (JST), which is a Centrelink requirement when you are receiving Newstart allowence. You have to do 100 hours of JST, about 50 hours with your employment agency, and 50 hours at home/off site. Yesterday was ok, kind of boring. It's all things I already know. The JST trainer, Barrie, is a nice guy, but my god can he talk! Today he got so far off topic, we ended up talking about baby names. Yup, seriously. Odd! And it had nothing to do with getting employment! I have tomorrow and Thursday at JST, then on Friday I get to miss a day (woo hoo!!) because ... I have another trial shift at the cafe.
Yeah! :o)
Got the message on my phone this morning from Heather, asking me to give her a call back, which I did in a break, thinking that she was ringing to tell me I didn't get the job. She'd said she'd call on Saturday or Sunday, so when I hadn't heard anything I assumed I'd missed out. But no, she wants me to go in for another trial on Friday, and then ... assuming it all goes well ... sign an employment agreement! :o) Woo hoo! So it sounds to me like she's already made up her mind to offer me a job, and now I'm hoping that I don't do anything on Friday to totally stuff that right up! :o)
There was a slight hitch though ... Got home to find a letter saying that I've been summonsed for jury duty.
Are you freaking kidding me??!! I finally get a (good) chance at getting an actual paying job, and now I have to ring the manager and say, "By the way, if you hire me, I'm going to be unavailable for the entire second week of my employment with you." What the??!! *lol* You should have heard me, swearing at the letter, carrying on when I read it! :o)
So I figured, what the hell, I need to at least let Heather (the manager of the cafe) know A.S.A.P. because she'd probably want to at least know that, and if I'm not upfront it might piss her off to find out later, knowing that I knew all along.
So I went for a wander into the cafe, and spoke to her.
And she was totally fine with it.
No problems at all.
Woo hoo!!!! :o) *lol* She said the first couple of weeks I probably won't have that many hours anyway, so it shouldn't be a problem. Hopefully I won't even get selected for a jury, or if I do, hopefully it's not a long trial.

I gotta say, tonight I feel ... a lot less stressed. The thought of getting a job, being able to afford to pay all my bills, rent, food .... God, it sounds so good. I didn't realise how much it was stressing me out, but I've never really had to think about it before. I was always working, you know? I always had money to pay bills and rent, and buy groceries. I never realised how stressful it was, not being able to do that. Newstart allowence barely covers rent and bills. Rent alone for 2 weeks is 2/3 of my Newstart. It doesn't leave much for bills, which is why all my bills are currently overdue!!!

You know, my sister rang last night, to tell me the birthday present I sent my niece arrived, and also that she was thinking of coming to visit me next week. My immediate thought? God, how am I going to afford enough food for two extra people?! *lol* How sad is that?!! It would be so nice not to have to worry about things like that.

Anyway, my dinner is ready, so I might take off. Hope you're all good.

Go hug a tree! :o)

Australian CaringBridge Kids.

The following kids are "Little Aussie Battlers" fighting cancer/life threatening illnesses. Drop by their websites and say g'day :o)

Fraser - http://www.caringbridge.org/az/fraser/

Kaitlyn - Her mum has just been given the devastating news that Kaitlyn has relapsed, the neuroblastoma is back - www.caringbridge.org/ne/kaitlyn

Jay - http://www.jaysjourney.org/

Dylan - Dylan was featured on Australian Stories, and Today Tonight. He has neuroblastoma and has travelled to the US (New York) for treatment. He and his mum have been living in NY for 2 years, and the family have just sold their house in Australia so Dylan's dad and brother can join them in NY. http://www.dylanhartung.net/

Sarah Jane - http://www.caringbridge.org/oceania/sarahjane

Kaitlyn - http://www.caringbridge.org/oceania/curlykaitlyn

Will add more (and update the links again) a little later.
Hope you're all having a good day. Go hug a tree ... :o)

** Megs, what the hell are you doing home on a Saturday night?! Is the world ending ...?! Thanks for the comment though :o) **

Another Meme:

Choose a band and answer only in song titles by that band:
P!nk

Are you male or female? Split Personality.
Describe yourself: Don't Let Me Get Me.
How do some people feel about you? Try Too Hard
How do you feel about yourself? I'm Not Dead.
Describe your ex-boyfriend/ex-husband: Can't Take Me Home
Describe your current boyfriend/husband: Who Knew?
Describe what you want to be: Feel Good Time
Describe your current mood: Leave me alone (I'm lonely)
Describe your friends: Respect
Share a few words of wisdom: God Is A DJ

Long way to happiness ...

Eh.
That about sums everything up at the moment.
Eh.
Not happy, not sad. Just ... Eh.
Had an ok day, I guess. Had a job interview this morning. It was at a cafe. So, naturally, I thought it was for the cafe. (Because I'd sent the application to the cafe) Uhhh ... No. The couple interviewing were looking for people to become personal assistants for wealthy families ... Eh?? What the?? Sort of a nanny thing? A cleaner for said wealthy families? Buggered if I know.
The interview was three pages of questions, which were often the same questions asked in slightly different ways ... So I simply repeated my answers in slightly different ways.
I don't know what it was, but there was something ... Weird? Off? Odd? Downright creepy? about the couple doing the interviewing. The whole thing was just ... bizzare, really.
I havent yet heard anything about the other job (the trial at the actual cafe). I hope I get it and I never have to see creepy people again ...
Spent the rest of the morning tidying the house ... Did some grocery shopping ... Came home and made lasange ... yum ... and now I'm just bummin :o)
For some reason, several of my fave sites are down tonight, which is a pain in the ass. I have nothing to do! *lmao*
I know, I know, I still havent updated the links ... Sorry, Meg. Might go do that after I finish this entry ... Actually, I might do that now. Peace out.


Edit @ 7:43 p.m: Links have been updated. Blogs that I like, such as Dan/My Crazy Roommate/Kristie/Post secret etc are under Random Links (along with some other stuff!). Want something added? Email me. Caringbridge Kids have also been updated, The kids at the top of the list are now angels, the ** shows that (e.g. *Catie*, *Hannah*, *Blair*, *Matty* etc.).

Movie/TV monologues ... Just cause.

Erin Brockovich

(Loud motorcycle noises cause Erin to leave her house, shouting)
Erin: Hey! Hey! HEY!
George: Hello.
Erin: What are you doing making all that goddamn noise?
George: Well, uh, I don't know. We were just introducing ourselves to the neighborhood, I guess.
Erin: Well, I'm the neighbors. There, we're introduced, so shut the fuck up. (walks away)
George: (chuckling) Hey, hey. Well, hold on there. Let's start over, okay? My name's George. What's yours?
Erin: Just think of me as the person next door who likes it quiet.
George: Hey, come on. Don't be like that. Hell, we live next door to each other. I feel bad. I feel terrible. I'm sorry. Will you accept my apology? I mean, hell, we're living right next door to each other. If you need a cup of sugar --
Erin: I don't need sugar.
George: You don't need any sugar. Well, why don't I take you out to dinner to apologize for my rudeness? Huh? You give me your number. I mean, I already got your address so you can't get away. Huh? I'll call you up proper and I'll ask you out and everything.
Erin:(scoffs) You want my number?
George: I do. I do want your number.
Erin: Which number do you want -- George?
George: George. Now I like the way you say that, "George." Uh, well, how many numbers you got?
Erin: Oh, I've got numbers coming out of my ears. For instance, ten.
George: Ten?
Erin: Yeah. That's how many months old my baby girl is.
George: You've got a little girl?
Erin: Yeah. Sexy, huh? How about this for a number: six. That's how old my other daughter is. Eight is the age of my son. Two is how many times I've been married and divorced. Sixteen is the number of dollars I have in my bank account. 850-3943. That's my phone number, and with all the numbers I gave you, I'm guessing zero is the number of times you're going to call it. (turns and goes back into the house)
George: Hey, how the hell do you remember your bank balance off the top of your head like that? Y'see, that impresses me.
(she slams the door behind her)
George: You're dead wrong about that zero thing, baby.
(George walks a few steps, kneels and falls forward onto his face onto the grass lawn, clearly impressed.)


**


Good Will Hunting
written by Matt Damon & Ben Affleck

Will: Yeah, I went on a date last week.
Sean: How'd it go?Will: It was good.
Sean: Going out again?
Will: I don't know.
Sean: Why not?
Will: Haven't called her.
Sean: Christ, you're an amateur.
Will: I know what I'm doing.
Sean: Yeah.
Will: Yeah. Don't worry about me. I know what I'm doin'. Yeah, but this girl is like, you know, beautiful. She's smart. She's funny. She's different from most of the other girls I've been with.
Sean: So, call her up, Romeo.
Will: Why? So I can realize she's not that smart, that she's fuckin' boring? Y'know--I mean...this girl is like fuckin' perfect right now, I don't wanna ruin that.
Sean: Maybe you're perfect right now. Maybe you don't want to ruin that. I think that's a super philosophy, Will. That way you can go through your entire life without ever having to really know anybody. My wife used to fart when she was nervous. She had all sorts of wonderful idiosyncrasies. You know what? She used to fart in her sleep. Sorry I shared that with you. One night it was so loud it woke the dog up. She woke up and gone like "oh was that you?" I'd say yeah...I didn't have the heart to tell her...Oh God...[laughing]
Will: She woke herself up?
Sean: Yesssss. Oh Christ....aahhh, but, Will, she's been dead two years and that's the shit I remember. Wonderful stuff, you know, little things like that. Ah, but, those are the things I miss the most. The little idiosyncrasies that only I knew about. That's what made her my wife. Oh, and she had the goods on me, too, she knew all my little peccadillos. People call these things imperfections, but they're not, aw, that's the good stuff. And then we get to choose who we let in to our weird little worlds. You're not perfect, sport. And let me save you the suspense. This girl you met, she isn't perfect either. But the question is: whether or not you're perfect for each other. That's the whole deal. That's what intimacy is all about. Now you can know everything in the world, sport, but the only way you're findin' out that one is by givin' it a shot. You certainly won't learn from an old fucker like me. Even if I did know, I wouldn't tell a piss ant like you.
[Will smiles]
Will: Why not? You told me every other fuckin' thing. Jesus Christ. You talk more than any shrink I ever met.
[Sean laughs]
Sean: I teach this shit, I didn't say I knew how to do it.
[pause]
Will: Yeah......you ever think about gettin' remarried?
Sean: My wife's dead.
Will: Hence, the word remarried.
Sean: My wife's dead.
[pause]
Will: Yeah.. Well, I think that's a super philosophy, Sean. I mean that way you could actually go through the rest of your life without ever really knowing anybody.
[A pause. Sean smiles ironically.]
Sean: Time's up.


**

Good Will Hunting

Will: Well, I can't go to California with you.
Skylar: Why not?
Will: Well, one, because I--I got a job here, and two, because I live here.
Skylar: Look, um..If you don't love me, you should tell me because it's such a--
Will: I'm not saying I don't love you.
Skylar: Then why? Why won't you come? What are you so scared of?
Will: What am I so scared of?
Skylar: Well, what aren't you scared of? You live in this safe little world where no one challenges you and you're scared shitless to do anything else but defend yourself because that would mean you'd hafta' change.
Will: Oh no. Don't, don't, don't tell me about my world. Don't tell me about my world! I mean you just wanna have you fling with like the guy from the other side of town. Then you're going to go off to Stanford, you're going to marry some rich prick who your parents will approve of and just sit around with the other trust fund babies and talk about how you went slumming too, once.
Skylar: Why are you saying this? What is your obsession with this money? My father died when I was 13 and I inherited this money. Nearly every day I wake up, and I wish that I could give it back, that I would give it back in a second if it meant I could have one more day with him, but I can't and that's my life and I deal with it. So don't put your shit on me, when you're the one that's afraid.
Will: I'm afraid? Wh--wh--what am I afraid of, huh? What the fuck am I afraid of?
Skylar: You're afraid of me. You're afraid that I won't love you back. And you know what? I'm afraid too. Fuck it. I want to give it a shot and at least I'm honest with you.


**


The Wedding Singer
written by Tim Herlihy

Robbie Hart: You guys are off to a great start, don't you think? I mean, Cindy showed up, so right away, Scott, you gotta be pretty psyched, right? (a man interupts and Robbie glares ferociously at him) Well, I have a microphone, and you don't. SO YOU WILL LISTEN TO EVERY DAMN WORD I HAVE TO SAY!... You know, some of us will never, ever find true love, like, take for instance... me. And I'm pretty sure that guy right over there. And the lady with the sideburns. And basically every at table nine. But the worst part of all is that me, fatty, sideburns lady, and the mutants over at table nine will never, ever find a way to better the situation, because... apparently we have nothing to offer the opposite sex. (the man interupts again and Robbie again turns on him) Sir, one more outburst, I will strangle you with my microphone wire, do you understand me? Now let's cut the stupid cake 'cause I know the fat guy's gonna have a heart attack if we don't eat again soon. And while we're doing that, here's a little mood music for you.


**

While You Were Sleeping
written by Fred Lebow & Daniel Sullivan

Lucy: Okay, there are two things that I remember about my childhood. I just don't remember it being this orange. First, I remember being with my dad. He would get these far off looks in his eyes and he would say, 'life doesn't always turn out the way you planned." I just wish I had realized he was talking about my life. But that never stopped us from taking our adventures together. He would pack up our sometimes working car and tell me amazing stories about strange and exotic lands as we headed off to exciting destinations like Milwaukee. It's amazing how exotic Wisconsin.....isn't But my favorite memories are the stories that he'd tell me about my mom. He would take me to the church where they got married and I'd beg him to tell me more about the ceremony and about my crazy uncle Irwin who fell asleep in the macaroni and cheese, and I'd ask my dad when he knew he truly loved my mom and he'd say, "Lucy, your mother gave me a special gift. She gave me the world." Actually, it was a globe with a light in it but for the romantic that he was, he might have been the world. Well, the first time that I saw him he didn't exactly give me the world. It was a dollar fifty for a train token. I looked forward to it every single day. He started coming to my booth between 8:01 and 8:15 every morning, Monday through Friday. And he was perfect.....my prince charming. We've never actually spoken, but I know someday that we will. I know it. I know that someday I will find a way to introduce myself and that's going to be perfect, just like my prince.


Lucy: I bet you were wondering what I'm doing here in the middle of the night. Well, I thought I should introduce myself. My name is Lucy. Lucy Elenore Moderatz. Umm......I think you should know that your family thinks we're engaged. I've never been engaged before. This is very sudden for me. Umm, what I really came here to tell was that I didn't mean for this to happen. I don't know what to do. If you were awake, I wouldn't be in this mess. Oh God, not that I'm blaming you. I'm sorry. It's just that when I was a kid, I always imagined what I would be like or what I would have when I got older. And you know, it was normal stuff. I'd have a house and a family and things like that. It's not that I'm complaining or anything, because I do have a cat. I have an apartment. I have a sole possession of a remote control. That's very important. It's just that I've never met anybody that I could laugh with. Do you believe in love at first site? I bet you don't. You're probably too sensible for that. Or have you ever seen somebody and you know, that if that person really knew you, they'd dump the perfect model that they were with and realize that you were the one that they wanted to grow old with? Have you ever fallen in love with somebody that you haven't even talked to? Have you ever been so alone that you spend the night confusing a man in a coma?


**

Dawsons Creek
from the TV series created by Kevin Williamson

[Pacey stands up and walks towards Mr. Peterson, an unfair and abusive English teacher]
Mr. Peterson: Mr. Witter, I suggest you sit down.
Pacey: No.
Mr. Peterson: SIT DOWN!
Pacey: You want somebody to read the poem. I'll read it. "Today"......"Today was a day the world got smaller. Darker. I grew more afraid. Not of what I am but of what I could be.
Mr.Peterson: I SAID STOP!!!!
[He grabs the paper away from Pacey.]
Mr. Peterson: You will listen to me when I talk to you, young man.
Pacey: Why should I?
Mr. Peterson: Well, that's it. I am writing you a pass and you can report immediately to Principal Markom's office.
Pacey: What part of you is it that gets off on torturing students? Everyone in this class may be afraid of you, but I'm not! I see your miserable scare tactics for exactly what they are, the misguided lassions of a bitter, lonely old man who only feels good when somebody in the class feels worse.
Mr. Peterson: Thank you for the analysis, Mr. Witter. I'll send a check along with the 'F' you'll get on your report card.
Pacey: You can't fail me! I've gotten a 'B' or better on every test we've had in this class.
Mr. Peterson: Well, I can. I've been waiting to fail you all quarter.
Pacey: You disgust me.
Mr. Peterson: And you, Mr. Witter, are a failure. Destined to always be a failure. Trying to teach people like you is like spitting in the face of the entire educational system.
[Pacey spits in Mr.Peterson's face.]
Pacey: No, sir. That is spitting in the face of the entire educational system.

AND THE CONSEQUENCES OF HIS ACTIONS, LATER (in front of the teacher, his adviser and the principal)......
Pacey: I should start my saying that I'm more ashamed for what I did in that classroom yesterday than anything I have done in my life. It was dead wrong and I have no case here and I'm sorry. However, I am not now, nor will I ever be, apolegetic for it's intention. Everyday we, the students of Capeside, come to a place where you guys are in charge. You tell us when to arrive, and when to leave, and when to move rooms, and when to eat. You tell us when we're doing well and when we need to be doing better and we never, ever question it because we're afraid to. To question it is to go against the belief that the entire system is built upon. The belief that you guys know what's right. And I'm not afraid to tell you that what happened in that classroom was not right. To make a student cry, to embarrass him, to strip him of his dignity in front of his classmates, is not right. And while I do respect the system, I do NOT respect men like you, Mr. Peterson, I don't. I can't. And I never will. Not after what you did. You have a good afternoon.


**

Dawson's Creek
from the TV series created by Kevin Williamson

Jen: When you see Belinda and her clique in the hallway, you're desperately wishing that you were walking with them, aren't you? And thinking that maybe if you were wearing the right shoes, sporting the latest hairstyle, and using the hottest shade of lip gloss, then maybe they would toss a glance in your direction.
Ever wonder why they force their narrow-minded opinions down our throats?
Perhaps it's because they have an inkling of what the future has in store for them beyond graduation.
Cut to 25 years from now, Belinda McGovern wakes up one morning feeling empty. Maybe it's because her Dartmouth-educated lawyer husband Tad has run off to Tijuana with her daughter's roommate from boarding school. Or maybe it's because the twins, Timmy and Tommy, call her by her first name and their live-in housekeeper "Mom." Or maybe it's Belinda's daily 2:00, 5:00, 7:00, and 9:15 showdown with her bottle of Prozac. Her life has become a domestic wasteland. Avoid this fate.
Don't let yourself become another cookie-cutter blonde, size 4, rah-rah-sis-bam-boom, mindless, soulless, spineless wench. Screw these auditions, screw cheerleading, and screw Belinda McGovern.


**


Dawson's Creek

Joey: [voice over] And now that this scared little girl no longer follows me wherever I go, I miss her. I do.
'Cause there are things I wanna tell her-- to relax, to lighten up, that it is all going to be ok. I want her to know that meeting people who like you, who understand you, who actually accept you for who you are, will become an increasingly rare occurrence. Jen, Jack, Audrey, Andie, Pacey, and Dawson. These people who contributed to who I am, they are with me wherever I go, and as history gets rewritten in small ways with each passing day, my love for them only grows. Because the truth is... it was the best of times.
Mistakes were made, hearts were broken, harsh lessons learned, but all of that has receded into fond memory now.
How does it happen? Why are we so quick to forget the bad and romanticize the good?
Maybe it's because we need to believe that the time we spent together actually meant something, that we were there for each other in a time in our lives that defined us all, a time in our lives that we will never forget. I can't swear this is exactly how it happened.
But this is how it felt.


**


Scrubs
from the TV show created by Bill Lawrence

Dr. Cox (John C. McGinley): Relationships don't work the way they do on television and in the movies: Will they, won't they, and then they finally do and they're happy forever -- gimme a break.
Nine out of ten of them end because they weren't right for each other to begin with, and half the ones that get married get divorced, anyway. And I'm telling you right now, through all this stuff, I have not become a cynic, I haven't.
Yes, I do happen to believe that love is mainly about pushing chocolate-covered candies and, you know, in some cultures, a chicken. You can call me a sucker, I don't care, 'cause I do...believe in it.
Bottom line...is the couples that are truly right for each other wade through the same crap as everybody else, but, the big difference is, they don't let it take 'em down.

Meme #3!

And here's another "Meme", the twist this time is that all questions have to be answered in one word ... Let's see how I go.

1. Where is your mobile phone? Desk.
2. Relationship? Nope.
3. Your hair? Straightened.
4. Work? Unemployed.
5. Your sister(s)? Crazy.
6. Your favourite thing? Laughter.
7. Your dream last night? Deep.
8. Your favourite drink? COKE!
9. Your dream car? Any.
10. The room you're in? Quiet.
11. Your shoes? Comfy.
12. Your fears? Valid.
13. What do you want to be in 10 years? Happy.
14. Who did you hang out with this weekend? Chrissie.
15. What are you not good at? Confrontation.
16. Muffin? Choc-chip.
17. Wish list item? ...
18. Where you grew up? Kerang.
19. The last thing you did? Ate.
20. What are you wearing? Clothes.
21. What are you not wearing? Fashion.
22. Your pet? Many.
23. Your computer? Laptop.
24. Your life? Re-starting.
25. Your mood? Content.
26. Missing? Coke.
27. What are you thinking about? Books.
28. Your car? Invisible
29. Your kitchen? Comfortable.
30. Your summer? Awesome.
31. Your favourite colour? Pink.
32. Last time you laughed? Loudly.
33. Last time you cried? Today.
34. School? Maybe.
35. Love? Fun.

Think it's easy? Give it a go :o)

I shoulda been a guy ...

Had a pretty good day. Lunch with Ang and Chrissie, and of course, gorgeous little Ryan. Who, I swear, has gotten about a thousand times more cute since we last saw him!
I'm not kidding, it took about 15 seconds for the talk to turn to sex after we sat down ... *lmao* We should have been guys, I reckon. Funny as. And it wasn't until the guys at the table next to us got up to leave that we realised they were even there ... And that they'd probably heard our entire conversation ... Which was definitely X-rated! Phone sex, faking it, sex toys, thoughts during sex ... There wasn't much we didn't talk about! :-P
Then Ang had to head home to meet with the celebrant to discuss Ryan's naming ceremony, so Chrissie and I headed out to Lansell Plaza because she decided she wanted foils put in her hair. They turned out really nice too, which was great.
After that we came back here and decided to go see a movie, so we went and watched Shrek the Third. Who said it wasn't as good as the first two?! Lots of one-liners, heaps of funny stuff in there. Every bit as good as the first two.
But can I just say, what happened to people laughing at movies? Most people were so timid, they'd give a little giggle, where as Chrissie and I laughed loudly, and a lot! Who cares what people think if you laugh loud?! You're there to enjoy yourself! I noticed it the other day at Oceans 13 as well. Bummer!
Anyway, that about wraps it up for tonight. To finish off I want to say a huge *CONGRATULATIONS!* to my cousin Sondrel, and her husband Dominic, who had their first child yesterday! A new baby girl entered the world, weighing 8lb 10 oz. They have named her Lily Lorna. I'm sure she's a cutie! Congrats guys! :o)
Ok, and I'm out. Night guys!

Random mutterings #2

Yada, yada ... It's late, can't sleep, am exhausted, eyes are barely open ... Yada, yada ... :o)
I don't know why, but the sleep thing hasn't been happening for me lately. Ahh well.
So I figured I'd blog, get some stuff out of my head and written down, see if that helps ... Here goes ...

1) Leanne's home! Arrived back in Australia yesterday morning. After a slight hiccup with customs, (thanks to my aunty having an "recycled elephant dung" (Leanne's exact words) photo frame in her bag) they were on the road from Melbourne by 11 yesterday morning. I missed her in Bendigo because I was at the cafe, doing a trial shift, but I got home to some nice presents :o) I scored a gorgeous dolphin bracelet, 2 photo frames, 2 magnets, a beautiful elephant letter holder (that I actually thought was just a wall hanging ...) and some Thai Bahts (the Thai currency). Didn't talk to mum last night, but she rang tonight and we had a good ol' chat, she said she had an awesome time, and would go back again. She rode an elephant, went to Dreamworld, got all "templed" out, ate lots of the local food, and got heaps of stuff for everyone.

2) The Cafe job: Don't know whether I've got it or not. Had the trial thing yesterday, and really enjoyed it. I guess all I can do now is think positive thoughts! :o) Probably won't hear anything until Saturday at the earliest. Fingers crossed ...!

3) Ryan's naming day. I have to make a speech. But here's the thing ... I don't do speeches. The thought of everyone looking at me, listening to what I have to say ... Makes my tummy go all "butterfly-ie" and my face goes all red. Just thinking about giving a speech makes those things happen! What am I meant to say?! Being godmother is a huge honour, and I'm touched that Ang and Vince asked me, so I don't want to let them down, but .... *arggggh* !!!! It's not the writing of the speech I'm worried about, I'm sure I can find the perfect words, it's the saying of those words in front of ... you know, people ... that worries me! Hmm ... How do I start? "I'm honoured to be here to celebrate Ryan's naming day with him, and you, today?" I'm happy to be here? I'm thrilled to be here? I'm glad I'm here because I'm really looking foward to the lunch afterwards? I also have to write a wish for Ryan, which I think will go something like: My wish for Ryan is that his life will be full of dreams, full of love, full of mistakes to learn from, full of laughter and full of happiness. Is that too cheesy? Should I just put "My wish for Ryan is that he's a cool dude"? I'm not sure. Might put some more thought into this tomorrow when I can think a little more clearly. Ang and Chrissie and I are meeting for lunch tomorrow (oops, today) so I'll see what Ang has to say about all this.

4) The Meme things: A few people have emailed privately, asking if they can "borrow" them - Of course!!! :o) I think that's the idea - to have people put them on their own blog/space/home page, so you get to know them a little better. If I find any more, I'll put them up here.

5) Yes, I will put My Crazy Roommate/Dan Renzi/Post Secret/Not quite what I had planned/Blogthings etc in a link list at the side of the page for you soon, Meg! :o) There are a heap more random sites I've found which are hilarious, as well as blogs I visit daily. I'm getting around to it, I promise. Also, I'll be updating the CaringBridge links soon, and will ** the kids who are no longer with us, so you don't get an unexpected (and sad) suprise when you go visit them (Ooops ... Sorry, B!) And yeah, if you email me with a question, check on here for a response, I'm sucky at replying to emails, so I do it all on here :o)

6) I think I'm outta things to say ... It's nearly 1 am, and I have to be up at 7, so I think I might see if I can sleep now.

7) * G * O * O * D * N * I * G * H * T * ! *

*Meme* #2 :o)

I AM: Often what people think I'm not. Calm, happy, quiet, panicked, easy going, sad, angry, loud, relaxed ...

I WANT: Happiness. And lots more laughter in my life :o) You can never have too much.

I WISH: That there could be no pain in the world. And that I could sleep properly :o)

I HATE: People who judge others. Tom Cruise. People who lie. People who have no compassion. People who don't stop and think before they speak. Door-to-door religious people - I have no problems with people having a religion, but please don't come to my door and shove it down my throat. And I hate that I can't say go away to them! People who hurt others. Anger. Telstra. Vegetables. People who don't leave voicemail messages! When you lose something really important and you need it *right now*. When you run out of hot water half way through conditioning your hair. This could go forever ...

I MISS: When things were simpler, easier. When people meant what they said, and said what they meant.

I HEAR: A banging sound. I think it's because of the wind. And 'Long Way', by Pink because I'm currently listening to it on my MP3 player.

I WONDER: Where I'll be in 10 years? 15 years? The unknown is pretty damn scary, but also pretty damn awesome.

I REGRET: Not taking more chances. Not being honest with those who I care most about because I was so worried what they might-maybe-possibly think about me. Who cares? They love me. They wouldn't care!

I AM NOT: Warm, right now. Actually, I'm freezing!

I DANCE: Constantly. I live alone, who's going to see me?!

I SING: Constantly. Again, I live alone. Who's going to see me?! What do I care if the neighbours hear me?!

I CRY: Occasionally. Only when I'm alone though. Or when I'm really, really tired I get waaay to emotional and will cry at anything!

I AM NOT ALWAYS: A morning person. Sometimes it takes me an hour or two to talk in the morning!

I MAKE WITH MY HANDS: Food. (what the ... ?? what kind of question is that?)

I WRITE: Lots. Poems, general crap, letters to friends lost, my blog. I write a lot, actually.

I CONFUSE: everyone :o)

I NEED: Not much actually. There's a lot I want, but everything I *need* I have. I do kinda need a job, though :o)

I SHOULD: Start paying my bills on time. Have more sex.

I START: Housework every couple of days, then get bored and give up.

I FINISH:95% of books I start. Usually within a couple of days.

P.S. Check out this post on Dan's site - http://danrenzi.typepad.com/stuff/2006/01/what_straight_m.html ... Pretty funny! :o) And ... true!

Meme

So, I'm reading back through Dan Renzi's blog - How was your day, Dan? and there's a "Meme" that's he's completed, so because I'm totally unoriginal tonight, and without any interesting thoughts, I thought I'd complete this. So here goes:



1. Flip to page 18, paragraph 4 - in the book closest to you right now, what does it say?
It's talking about one of the brothers in an accused gang rape case ... The book is 'Girls like you', and it's about 6 brothers, who raped 4 teenage girls, and the resulting court case. Heavy reading, but a good book.


2. If you stretch out your left arm - as far as possible, what are you touching?
My bed. A pile of bills and letters on my bed. I can also almost touch my printer.


3. What's the last program you watched on tv?
The news. How exciting, huh?


4. Without looking, guess what time it is.
About ... 7:20. (so close ... 7:24)


5. Except the computer, what can you hear right now?
My mobile phone, telling me I have a message. The birds, talking to each other. The tv, which is on A Current Affair at the moment.


6. When was the last time you were outside and what did you do?
This afternoon ... Walked to Coles, to get some groceries.


(You know, this is more boring than I thought it would be ...)


7. What are you wearing?
Pink and white stripey socks. Jeans. Black t-shirt. Pink and white zip up hoody.


8. Did you dream last night? If you did, what about?
Yes. Two seperate dreams actually. One was me and Christine in hospital, we'd had a car accident. My arm was broken. Chrissie had a cut toe. (Don't ask me how she cut her toe in a car accident...) Dream two was a little ... erotic, so I won't share the details :o)



9. When was the last time you laughed?
About 10 minutes ago. B and I were talking about what a tool Paris Hilton is.


10. What's on the walls, in the room you're in right now?
Photos of Jordyn and Amber. And post-it notes, all of which have *very important* things written on them ... Like phone numbers, appointments, random quotes and crap :o)



11. Have you seen anything strange lately?
Nope ... Don't think so.


12. What do you think about this meme?
It's more boring than I thought it would be ... Maybe it was just Dan who made it seem fun?!



13. What's the last film you saw?
Oceans Thirteen ... Just got back from it like, 30 minutes ago.



14. If you became a multimillionaire, what would you do with the money?
Take care of those I love. Donate some to Caringbridge, cancer research, and the Royal Childrens Hospital. Do something with it that makes a difference.



15. Tell us something about yourself that most people don't know.
I sometimes have panic attacks, late at night when I can't sleep.



16. If you could change ONE THING in this world, without regarding politics or bad guilt - what would it be?
Get rid of disease - childhood cancer, AIDS, Cystic Fibrosis, kidney disease, liver disease, heart disease. Causes too much hurt and anguish.



17. Do you like dancing?
When I'm at home alone. I really do that whole "Dance like nobody is watching" thing. Mostly in my kitchen, or my lounge. Or when I'm going from my bedroom to my kitchen. I know I look like a dickhead. I know it's dorky, and ridiculous. But I don't care.


18. George Bush?
How did he get into office? So many people in America claim to hate him, and his policies, and yet, he won power. How? If Americans care, would they not vote? I don't understand.


19. What do you want your children's names to be, girl/boy?
I'd like a girl named Jennah ... For reasons known only to me :o) And a boy named ... Matt. Everyone loves Matt!


20. Would you ever consider living abroad?
Nup. Too far from my friends, family, and *home*!



21. What do you want God to tell you, when you come to heaven?
"Do you believe now?"

Chicken.

Blah.
Just got back from a 2 hour walk. Am (for some reason :-P) exhausted :o) *lol*
Thinking about making something for lunch, because I just realised I skipped breakfast and didn't eat much of my dinner last night, unfortunately. I made honey-soy chicken with rice, and sat down to enjoy it, had about 4 bites ... And promptly sent the plate flying (I was sitting on the couch, with the plate on my legs). Viola ... Honey-soy chicken and rice all over the couch, my pj pants, the floor, the newspaper, and I even managed to get some on my MP3 player. Well, if you're going to do something, do it properly ... :-P
Might have to get my carpets steam cleaned sometime soon ...! :o) Ahh well.
Rang Ang this morning, had a good chat before she had to take off because her dad rocked up. When she hung up, Ryan was trying to eat the phone cord *lol* :o)
It's nice outside today, but freezing inside.
Rang mum this morning, and they will arrive home tomorrow morning at 9. They'll be in Bendigo about lunch time, and my aunty and uncle want to go see my cousin, so mum's going to come around here for a while. It'll be good to see her. She said they've had an awesome time, but they are ready to come home.
Not much other news from here ... Have to ring Amber tomorrow, as she turns the BIG 2! *lol* Amanda had a little party for her yesterday, not sure how it went, but I'm sure they all had fun. Would have been nice to go down for it, but alas, I am an unemployed bum, so I currently don't have the funds :o) Also, my brother would have been there, and I don't really want to see him, or have anything to do with him.
Anyway. Might take off. Even though I didn't eat my dinner from last night, I still have to do the dishes I dirtied while making it ... Grr :o)

Have a great day, guys!

"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover."

-Mark Twain

Ok, *this* is the last one ...

You Have a Phlegmatic Temperament

Mild mannered and laid back, you take life at a slow pace. You are very consistent - both in emotions and actions. You tend to absorb set backs easily. You are cool and collected. It is difficult to offend you. You can remain composed and unemotional. You are a great friend and lover. You don't demand much of others. While you are quiet, you have a subtle wit that your friends know well. At your worst, you are lazy and unwilling to work at anything. You often get stuck in a rut, without aspirations or dreams. You can get too dependent on others, setting yourself up for abandonment.

What Temperment Are You?

Tell me something I don't know ... :o)

You Are 20% Extrovert, 80% Introvert

You are quite reserved You aren't afraid of social situations... But you very much prefer to go it alone And why not? You're your own best friend!

Are You An Extrovert or An Introvert?

Another Blogspot Quiz!

You Are Boyish Sexy

You're the kind of girl who gets along with all the boys Whether it's holding your own in a game of touch football... Or kicking some major butt while playing Xbox. You hang with the guys easily, while still keeping your girly sexiness.

What Kind of Sexy Girl Are You?

The one where I really don't have much to say :o)

Ahh. Saturday night. Football night.
Collingwood are playing Sydney tonight, I can hear the tv, so I'm not missing anything by being in my bedroom, typing this :o)
Pies are winning ... Go Pies!
The interview went well. I have a trial shift on Tuesday, from 12 - 2, to see how I go, whether I like the job, whether the lady in charge likes me :o) Let's hope it goes well.
Not much news from here. I got home from the interview and fell asleep on the couch about 3, since I didn't sleep much last night (forgive me, Father, for I have sinned ... With a *gasp* Carlton fan! ;o) ...! (No, I'm not in any way religious ... The Carlton fan is the bit that gets me :-P)). Woke at 6, and I'm still pretty exhausted ... Think I'll watch the footy then have an early night.
Anyway. Have a great night guys!

Funk ... Be gone! (Maybe ...?!)

So, after a week filled with job rejections (including one via sms - cheapass employment agency, couldn't even spring for an envelope and a stamp and a piece of paper to tell me ...) it's all turned around, and I have received two phone calls tonight, asking me to attend interviews.
YES!
Woo Hoo!
TWO! In one night!
One, at a ice-creamery and cafe, is tomorrow at 12. The other is at a bar/cafe, next Saturday morning at 9:30.
I really, really, really, really hope that one of them turns into a job.
I'm sick of worrying about being behind on rent. I'm sick of worrying about bills that are overdue. I'm sick of having to stop and think if I can afford food before I go to Coles to do some grocery shopping.
I'm sick of unemployment!
Please, please, please let me get a job soon ...

Zen Sarcasm

1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me alone.

-

2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and leaky tire.

-

3. It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.

-

4. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.

-

5. Always remember that you're unique. Just like everyone else.

-

6. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

-

7. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

-

8. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

-

9. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

-

10. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

-

11. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.

-

12. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

-

13. Some days you're the bug; some days you're the windshield.

-

14. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

-

15. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.

-

16. A closed mouth gathers no foot.

-

17. Duct tape is like 'The Force'. It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.

-

18. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.

-

19. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving.

-

20. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

-

21. Never miss a good chance to shut up.

-

22. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night

-

Still a bit *funky*

No entry yesterday. That's because I went to pick up my copy of Lean Mean Thirteen (which, thank god, I had the sense to pre-order and pay for months ago) and spent the day with my head in a book :o) Janet Evanovich never disappoints! The Stephanie Plum novels get better as she goes along.
Spent today on the couch, watching Season 3 of NCIS. After that *strenuous* (:-P) work, I had to take a nap, and slept away the rest of the afternoon :o) Geez, I tell you what, being unemployed is haaard work :-P *lol*
Seriously though, I'm not sure why, I just felt like a "lazy" day today. As soon as I got up, I knew I wouldn't be going anywhere today, so I didn't even bother to do my hair! So tonight I've got a mess of curls on my head (yes, I have naturally curly hair - who woulda guessed it, huh?! That's why I invested in a hair straightner!)
Got two more rejection letters today, employers that didn't want me, jobs I applied unsuccessfully for. I applied for 16 jobs on Monday ... Makes me wonder how long I'll have to wait before they too reject me.
I'm just full of happy beans tonight, aren't I?!
Ahh well.
Rang mum in Thailand last night! It was great to hear her voice. Only spoke for a minute though, as I was worried about the phone bill (calling a *mobile* phone in *Thailand*?!?! *lol* That will *COST!*) She said yesterday wasn't much fun - she was sick all day. The local food is catching up with her, she thinks. She said it's been "bloody hot" - 36/37 degrees every day. They went on an elephant trek the other day, which she said was great. Today they were going on a 10 hour tour to "somewhere" (Good to know mum knows exactly where she'll be :-P) and on Thursday and Friday they were going to a zoo and Dreamworld. Sounds like she's having a terrific time, which she deserves.
Christine took me out for dinner last night ... She arrived about 20 minutes after I'd eaten a late lunch ( at 5 o'clock) to say she wanted to go to La Porchetta! So we went anyway, and she helped me eat the small pizza I'd ordered :o) Was nice to get out for a while. And make fun of all the other people in the restaurant ... :-P
Anyway, might take off. My laptop is in my bedroom at the moment, and it is *freezing* in here! Will take off, back to the couch to watch some more NCIS. Have a great night, guys!

The one with the *funk*

No entry for a couple of days. Have been in a bit of a *funk* ... Not sure why.

Ahh well. Get over it.

Have *finally* started (and almost finished) 'Rose by any other name' by Maureen McCarthy. I brought it months ago and never started it. It's actually pretty damn good. Another 50 or so pages and I'll be done. Hopefully I can finish it tonight. I also want to read a few of the other books I purchased while I was working, but never had time to read.

It's nice to have time to read, and chill out, and listen to music and watch dvds, etc., but I think the unemployed thing is *really* starting to get to me. It's actually friggin stressful to be unemployed! All I can think about is bills, and money, money and bills. I have a gas bill that's a week overdue. I have a phone bill that's almost 2 weeks overdue. I have an electricity bill that needs to be paid before I get an overdue notice for that. And I'm a week behind on my rent.

I feel like I'm paddling water, just keeping my head above the water line, but any second I'm going to slip under, and no one will even notice. I'm just staying afloat here, but how much longer can I do this for? Seriously?

I put in 16 job applications today. Would have been more, but I ran out of stamps, and envelopes. And I don't actually have *any* money to buy anymore, so that doesn't help my stress levels either! I need stamps and envelopes to apply for jobs, but I can't buy them because I have no money, which is a result of having no job, but to get a job I need the stamps and envelopes to apply, but I can't get a job because I don't have any money ... On and freakin on goes in my mind.

Ok, onto the up side ... Dad rang last night. Mum's having a great time in Thailand. She's going on an elephant ride/trek thing today! She said it's been humid as all hell over there *all* the time. It gets to about 36/37 degrees during the day, and doesn't cool down much at night - drops to 29/30. You don't really notice a huge difference though, because it's so humid all the time, and there's thunderstorms every night. But other than that, they are loving it. I'm so happy for mum! She deserves the best time ever!

My bedroom is about 30 degrees at the moment *lol* I think Doug (one of my hermit crabs) is molting at the moment - getting ready to change into a new shell. He's been very quiet and lethargic for the last couple of days, which isn't like him. He's also been digging and burrowing a lot. So I've moved the crabs into my room, and put the little heater on to keep the room warm (hermit crabs like a temprature of about 27/28 degrees). I figure I'll warm the room and turn the heater off when I go to bed, and leave the door closed so the heat stays in longer. Hopefully that will help Doug, make the molting process go a little easier for him. Usually I leave the crabs in the lounge room at night, but because it's a big, open room, it gets really, really cold. God, I hope he's just molting and not dying!

Not much other news from here. I don't know. Can't shake this funk, no matter how hard I try. I think it's just everything, getting to me. Am going to look into counselling again this week. Just don't know whether I can do it - admitting that I can't handle all this shit to *someone* - a real person - saying those words ... I don't know whether I can do it. Stupid, isn't it? Whatever. I don't know.

Have a great night, guys.

*** Edit at 11:30 p.m.: Have just replied to comments - In comments section of individual entries. Was going to do a new entry for them, but decided to just reply in comments section as it's easier (and I don't have to try to remember what everyone said and then forget half of

what people said ...!) ***

*** 12:15 am: If, sometime in the next few days, you are visitor #500 (counter to the right of screen, just underneath title of blog) please leave me a comment and let me know who you are :o) You can be anonymous if you wish, but just say hi! :o)

~

When you thought you had it all, that's when you lost it ...

If you want to hold onto everything, you will fall ...

A trip to Melbourne

So, we're back from Melbourne, which is a surprise to me :o) I honestly thought that we still be on our way home. I figured we'd be leaving Melbourne about 6 or so.
We had a good day, dad had an appointment in Melbourne. Thank god it was right in the city, it was in St Kilda Rd. Got to Melbourne at 1:30, and caught the train to Flinders Street. Then we ... erm ... weren't quite sure where to go, and got a taxi. It was only a 5 minute drive from Flinders Street, so we were at the 3 o'clock appointment at 2 o'clock!!

Dad: Hi, I'm Brian and I have an appointment.
Receptionist: Okay, there'll be quite a wait.
Dad: Oh *no*, really?
Receptionist: Well, yes, you're appointment isn't until 3. It's only 2 p.m.
Dad: Ohh ... Yeah. Ok.

*lol* !!!! Five minutes later the receptionist told dad she'd try to squeeze him in early ... And true to her word, dad was the next person called. He was in and out before 2:45! So we rushed back to Southern Cross Station, to catch the 3:15 p.m. train, and we were back in Bendigo at 5:15. *Awesome!* :o)
Dad dropped me off and had a coffee, then took off. It's 7:15 now, and he's just called to say that he made it home ok. Yay! :o)

It was frickin freezin in Melbourne today!
Anyway, I have to go to Coles and get something for dinner now.
Have a great night!

Origin, Game 2.

NSW lost.


Damn.


Double damn.


Final scrore: Queensland 10, New South Wales 6.


Lets hope game 3 is a contest, and NSW win. Don't want a series whitewash.