Dear Scumbag Car Thief

Just wanted to say thanks. Thanks heaps.

In a week that's already been incredibly stressful, what with having a fire get within 1 freaking kilometre of our house and everything, you just had to do your bit, didn't you?

Thanks for stealing my car last night while I slept. It was actually the first good nights sleep I've had since Friday night. I woke up this morning, feeling refreshed, and not as stressed as I've been since Saturday.

When I went out to get in my car for work, however, all your handiwork hit me fair in the face as I realised that my freaking car had been stolen.

Thanks for making me miss another morning of work, while I rang the police and the insurance company and VicRoads. That's work that I can't afford to miss. I need that money.

Hope you enjoyed driving around in my car, listening to my CD's, using up the tank of petrol I just filled 2 days ago. That's $50 down the drain, so thanks you friggin dumbfuck.

I hope that your testicles turn green and fall the fuck off and I hope that you walk around with snot all over your face all day. I hope that you're found, and that you're charged. I hope that you realise the stress and the hurt and the cost that you've caused. I hope that someday you realise exactly what you did to me, and that you then have to deal with that shame for the rest of your life.

Snappz.