Devil dog.

I have the devil in my house.

He's disguised as a cute little puppy dog, going under the assumed name of "Jersey", so when you look at him you don't realise that he is, in fact, the devil.

This dog is seriously going to make me lose my mind. Seriously.

I feel like I'm doing something wrong, since all he does is destroy stuff, and eat stuff, and break stuff and get into trouble. He is always into something.

And you know what's nuts? He looks soooo sweet. So innocent. Especially when he's sleeping, or chewing on his bone. He just sits there, quietly, chewing away, looking like he's never done a thing wrong in his life.

Five minutes later, he's chewing a book, or eating my $30 tub of Body Butter, or destroying my sunglasses. The sunglasses that are only three weeks old. The sunglasses I got to replace the last pair that were destroyed by ... oh, that's right ... devil dog.

I actually borrowed a book about puppies from the library. Hoping to find some tips, or something. I was reading the book in bed yesterday morning. Left the book on the bed. Came back to find Jersey chewing the book. So, great. Now I have to go to the library tomorrow and pay for the puppy book because the puppy chewed the book. Uh-huh. Great.

I know he's only a puppy, and he's going to get into mischief, but surely at some point he has to learn? He doesn't seem to be learning at all. Even a tiny bit. I smack him for doing something wrong, and five minutes later I turn around to find him destroying something else. So I smack him again. And the cycle repeats. And, as soon as you smack him, he's over it. "Oh well, she smacked me, I'll go back to being happy, destructive puppy now! Let's forget what just happened!"

I have also been putting him in the laundry to punish him. The problem there is that he whines. He whines like he's been in there for days, all alone, deprived of food and water and love, even though he starts whining about thirty seconds after I close the door. The other problem? He's started attacking my laundry walls, scratching on them. He's gouged two chunks of wall out. This is a rental property. How the hell am I going to explain that to the landlord?

The other thing is, he is so sneaky. And so fast. I try to watch him all the time, but he only needs 5 minutes (sometimes not even that) to find something and destroy it. If it's something that he knows he shouldn't be doing, then he'll do it quietly and sneakily. And speedily.

Crap. He was sitting on the bed, and he just took off. I have to go. I'll update again when I'm not so close to the brink of insanity ...

Lest We Forget.

April 25. Anzac Day.

The day Australia stops to say thank you to those who fought for our country.
Thank you to those who went, even though they were so young, often teenagers, when they went to war, for Australia.
Thank you to those who are currently fighting for our country.
Thank you to those who left their families to look out for Australia.
Thank you to those who made the ultimate sacrifice, and died fighting for the freedom that we often take for granted.

Whether or not you agree with war (any in particular, or in general), or with the invasion of certain countries, you can't deny that the reason you have that freedom to have and voice your opinion is because of the people who protect, and fight for, this great country. We're so lucky that we are able to voice an opinion, and know that we won't get executed, or put in prision, just for having an opinion. We're lucky to live in a democracy, where we can speak up if something isn't right. We might not be able to change it, but we can try. And it won't cost lives to try.

I know a lot of older people say that younger people have no respect. For them, for what they fought for, for what they did. But more and more of the younger generation are going to Anzac Day services, more and more are marching with pride in place of grandparents who have passed on, more and more are keeping the Anzac tradition alive. My generation is the future of the Anzac tradition. Personally, I never really "got it" - until the last few years, when I realised all that has been sacrificed. I believe that the younger generation who are going to Gallipoli, who are taking part in marches, who are carrying on the Anzac tradition, will make sure it never dies out.

To me, Anzac Day has always been largely about the football. Collingwood v. Essendon. MCG. Sell out crowd. The Last Post played before the bounce. National anthem sung. It's always a ripper of a game.

Today, was no different. It was a great game. Essendon supporters probably wouldn't say that, though :-) The first quarter was close, made it look like we were in for a good game, but then the Pies ran away with it :-) Anyway, I'll do a post on the footy a little later.

Ok, I'm going to leave you with The Ode, that's always read out before the Last Post is played.

I'm out :-)

They shall grow not old, as we that are left grow old;

Age shall not weary them, nor the years condemn.

At the going down of the sun and in the morning

We will remember them.

AFL, Round 6.

Boys: Good win today. Bloody good win today. Play like that for the rest of the season, and we won't have any more losses like last week (and the week before), will we?

Mick: Glad to see that you went the game plan that we worked out together. Good move there, buddy. Good move.

GO PIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jersey (A.K.A. Destructo)

So. Long story short - Christine's away for a couple of weeks, so I'm baby sitting her eight month old puppy, Jersey.


Now, let's recap.


The last time Jersey stayed with me, this happened:


In three nights he managed to pee on my vacuum cleaner, destroy my sunglasses, rip a hole in my doona cover, eat a Tupperware container, and rip apart a book. Good work, Destructo!


Christine left for Kerang on last Wednesday. On Wednesday night, I picked the pup up and we headed to my place. Since then, he has managed to:

- knock over the birds cage
- freak out the rabbit by trying to stick his nose in the cage
- get into my bin and my recycling container and spread whatever he can find all over my lounge room floor numerous times
- find a tube of lip gloss, and destroy it ... All over my new sheets, effectively wrecking them by staining them (that happened Monday night. I got so upset I actually cried. Yup. Pathetic, huh?!) - pee right outside my toilet door so I STOOD in it when I got up the other morning
- chew up two socks, a pair of thongs, and a book.

He has also given me several near-strokes, by running off when I let him outside to do his business. He's always got a leash on, because my street is usually a little busy (even at night) but I let him walk around as he wants when I let him out. He's currently in the laundry, being punished because he took off when I let him outside a few minutes ago. He ran across the road, and kept dodging away from me, like it was some fun, awesome game. Meanwhile, I'm nearly having a FIT, because I can see him getting run over or disappearing into the darkness.

I'm not quite sure when Christine is returning ... But my god, as much as I love that dog (and I do, he is gorgeous, and will always cheer me up after work. Plus, when he's in a mental mood, he's FREAKING HILARIOUS!) I hope that it's soon ... ! :-)

Edited: 9:15 p.m.

I just found Jersey, under my bed, CHEWING ON MY WATCH. He's obviously been there a while, because it's destroyed. You know what? I'm not even upset. It's more like ... "Eh. Oh well."

"The best things in life are unseen. That's why we close our eyes when we kiss, cry and dream!"

Please?

Tomorrow, I have a job interview. It's a business traineeship, something I'd love to do.

So ... I could use some good vibes, thoughts, prayers, juju ... Whatever it is that works you ...

If you could fling 'em my way about 3 o'clock, that'd be great! :-)

Maybe One Day ...

Maybe One Day

Maybe one day a child diagnosed with cancer will know they will be cured

Maybe one day when a child is diagnosed with cancer, her father will not have to break down and cry his heart out

Maybe one day when a child is diagnosed with cancer, her mother will not feel the need to bargain with God so her child will live

Maybe one day a child diagnosed with cancer will not lose years of childhood battling for survival

Maybe one day parents of a child diagnosed with cancer will not have to hold their child down during painful procedures and listen to her screams

Maybe one day a child diagnosed with cancer will not have to ask "Why do they have to hurt me to help me?"

Maybe one day a child diagnosed with cancer can go to school without hair and not worry that classmates will tease her

Maybe one day a child diagnosed with cancer will not have to take medication that causes her coordination to leave her and to trip and fall hurting her self esteem

Maybe one day cancer therapy will not have to jepordize the lives of our children

Maybe one day a parent will not have to wonder what their child's potential might have been

Maybe one day we will never have to listen to another eulogy for a child who dies from cancer

Maybe one day, there will be no more cancer... maybe one day.

With or without you - U2

See the stone set in your eyes
See the thorn twist in your side
I wait for you
Sleight of hand and twist of fate
On a bed of nails she makes me wait
And I wait without you

With or without you
With or without you

Through the storm we reach the shore
You give it all but I want more
And I'm waiting for you

With or without you
With or without you
I can't live
With or without you

And you give yourself away
And you give yourself away
And you give
And you give
And you give yourself away

My hands are tied
My body bruised, she's got me with
Nothing to win and
Nothing left to lose

And you give yourself away
And you give yourself away
And you give
And you give
And you give yourself away
With or without you
With or without you

I can't live
With or without you
With or without you
With or without you

I can't live
With or without you
With or without you

AFL Round 5

21 points up in the last quarter ...

AND WE LOST??!

How is that even possible? I still can't believe it! WE HAD A 21 POINT LEAD!

Oh. Dear.

Cool quote :-)

“If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude. - Don't complain.”

- Maya Angelou

So, it's almost 4 a.m., and I'm up because I can't sleep. Because I can't breathe.

You know, this is becoming a pattern.

A pattern that I don't like. At all.

Helpful advice, my arse.

So, today (well, yesterday actually. Yesterday morning), Christine and I took a trip to Bunnings. Now, having a dad who's more than willing to do all that stuff that needs doing around my house means that I've never really needed Bunnings (or any hardware store) for any reason at all. But yesterday morning, Christine got up to discover that Jersey, her 8 month old puppy, who has, for the last 6 months been digging holes all over her back yard, had finally managed to dig his way under the fence, into the neighbours yard. Hahahaha! What a little bugger.

So we went to Bunnings, to get some wood, or some wire mesh, or something that would stop this from happening again.

It was interesting. And hilarious.


Me: Ooh, I'll ask that guy there for advice.
Christine: It does say on their ads they have lots of helpful advice!
Me: Excuse me. I was wondering if you could help us. We've got a problem with a dog, who's digging underneath a fence, getting out, and we need to put something there to stop him. What would be the best way to go about it?
Sales guy: I don't know anything about dogs. (Turns back to his work)
Me: Oook. Thanks anyway.
(As we're walking off)
Sales guy: Oh wait. I did hear of a friend. You probably won't like it, but he put barbed wire in the dirt all around the fence. The mutt shredded his feet when he tried to dig.
Me: Uh ... Thanks! We'll give that some thought.

(As soon as we walk away)
Christine: I wonder if his "friend" is now in jail.
Me: Helpful advice, my arse.

About 20 minutes later, we'd decided on a two-stage attack plan. A long plank of wood to put in front of the fence, and some square iron thingies (is it obvious I don't know how the hell to describe them?!) to put in front of the fence where the wood wouldn't reach. So, we decide that as soon as we get a shovel, we'll be out of there. Turns out the shovels are in the same isle as the mailboxes (some of which are FREAKING MASSIVE!), which leads to this brainwave from yours truly.

Me: (Laughing hysterically) Why not just buy a mailbox and stick him in there when you're not at home?
Christine: What is WRONG with you?!
Me: Problem solved (still laughing at my brilliance).
Christine: Oh ... My ... God ...
Me: You know, I think I may have been dropped on my head as a baby.
Christine: We could put barbed wire on the outside of the mailbox, he'd never get out!
(Then we both start laughing because we have the same dorky sense of humour and find each other hilarious!)

So, all in all ... A productive trip to Bunnings :-)

I cannot believe it's 3:15 a.m. and I'm awake. I am soooo tired. I haven't slept a lot the last couple of nights. I died about 11:30 tonight, then woke up an hour ago, having big trouble breathing. As soon as I'd been sitting upright for a few minutes, it got a lot easier to breathe, so I don't know what's going on there. You know, this breathing thing aint as easy as it looks ... :-)

Anyway, I might try and get some sleep. If this doesn't stop I'll have to go to the doctors AGAIN. Grr. Ok, I'm out :-)

Life's not about what's better than ...

Waiting ...

Tonight, I am tired, but I cannot sleep.

I am waiting.

On my bed, with my phone clutched in my hand.

I am waiting.

Every sound, every movement in the night, every creak, makes my eyes fly open and my heart stop for a second.

I am waiting.

Waiting ...

AFL, Round 4.

When things like this happen ...

It breaks your heart a little.
It makes you wonder why? Why? WHY??

It's just so unfair. So unfair ...

How could Collingwood lose to Carlton? CARLTON??

Stupid technology

Man, I'm tired.

Yesterday, I worked. Woo hoo, give me a medal. *lol* Sorry, I'm just amusing myself.

Anyway, mum and dad came down to Bendigo for the day, to look at doors, and go car browsing. They ended up buying mum a new computer. Not because there's anything really wrong with hers, but she just thought it was time for a new computer.

So, last night after work I headed up to mum and dads. I spent hours last night setting up the computer, and transferring all her photos and family history stuff onto the new computer. Surely there's a quicker, easier way to do it ... Too bad I don't know it.

So, as my piece-of-crap-i-think-it-is-possessed-and-it-hates-me-laptop has been playing up lately, I inherited mums old computer. I've just spent ages getting the broadband connection sorted out ... Man, was that confusing. I had to dig out the CD I got when I first connected to Telstra. And then my modem - which has obviously been chewed by A RABBIT, who shall remain nameless, thank you very much BUCKLEY B. BUNNY - decided it didn't want to work. And, as it turns out, you can't connect to the internet without a modem. Who knew?

So, now I've got to move all my photos and stuff onto this computer, as well as install iTunes. Because there's no way in hell I'm goin without my podcasts and music! :-)

Anyway. I've got to go do some stuff, and then I'm going to have a very quiet night on the couch. I'm freaking exhausted.

Peace out.

AFL, Round 3.

Two Words:


GO PIES!!!!!!

The girl who cried 'Unemployment'

So, I feel a little like the girl who cried wolf.

I think I've said about three times that I'm unemployed. In my defence, I did honestly believe that I was going to be unemployed. I'm still working at the cafe, but ... We're out at the end of the month.

I've actually known this for about a week. I just didn't say anything, because hello, look at my record! But it seems this time it's actually going to happen. Come May 1st, I will be unemployed.

Last week, my boss made the decision that she didn't want to move the kiosk into the new shop. The kiosk which no longer exists. It's actually been pulled to bits, and has been sitting in the closed shop, just waiting to be re-assembled and put to work again. We were going to move out of the cafe, and merge the kiosk and the cafe into a new shop.

However, because of all the trouble Nick (the owner of the centre) has caused, and the fact that my boss is in so much debt, and lets not forget that she is miserable out at the Market Centre, she has decided not to re-open.

I still thought that she might have changed her mind, so still I said nothing. But on Saturday, they started moving the kiosk stuff out of the new shop. Most of the stuff from our storeroom has been moved. All of the things (cups, saucers, utensils, cooking stuff etc.) we took into the cafe when we took it over are now gone.

Damn. This might actually be happening.

To be honest, I'm not that upset. I'm not really that happy out there either. I like the people I'm working with. I'm getting along with my boss ok. But the whole place is not doing very well, and it's pretty damn depressing. I hate going to work. We have about 5 empty shops out there, which doesn't seem like a lot, but it's not a big centre and that's about a third of the shops out there. Later this month, another shop is closing, and one of the shops there is cutting in half.

My boss has said she wants to re-open the business. She just doesn't know where and when.

So I'm applying for jobs.

I would love to stay with the business, but I can't sit around and wait indefinitely for her to re-open.

I've actually been applying for jobs here and there the whole time. Just trying to keep my options open. But now, it steps up a notch. I have done the unemployed thing. Don't really want to go there again.

Anyway. I'm gonna head to bed. It's late, and I worked today, so I'm tired.

Peace out.

Blood tests and whatnot.

I never know how to start these entries ...

Anyway. How are we all? Good? Good.

My attack of the grumps seems to have been cured. Actually, it turns out it wasn't so much grumps as it was ... Pneumonia.

I ended up at the doctors the other day (after a few nights and days of struggling to breathe, headaches, tiredness and crankiness). I have PERFECT blood pressure, thank you very much! I am so proud of that! And maybe I need to get a life, but hey! I have PERFECT blood pressure.

What's not so great is my lungs, my rapid pulse and the whole infection thing I've got going on.

But, HELLO? PERFECT blood pressure!

Anyway, my doctor ordered a blood test, just to make sure that there was nothing else going on.

I think I may have written a sentence or two before about how much I freaking hate needles and whatnot before.

In case I haven't, or in case you haven't read those entries, let me make it very, very clear:

I HATE needles.

They FREAK me out.

Just the THOUGHT of having to get a needle will make me panic.

Actually, I had pneumonia a couple of years ago. I was gently persuaded (they say they pretty much dragged me ... Eh. Whatever. Potato/Puhtato ...) to go to the hospital one night. The nurse hooked me up to the little heartrate monitor thingy (yes, that's the technical term for it) and told me that she was going to give me a needle for somethingorother. My heartrate went up so high she actually got the doctor because she was worried. I then had to explain that there wasn't anything wrong with my heart, I was just shit-scared because she'd mentioned the "N" word.

Um ... Where was I? Oh. Needles. Hate them.

(Yes, I am a wuss. A chicken. A scaredy-cat. Deal with it. I have.)

Anyway, so as soon as the doctor said "blood test", I started freaking. I should have done it first thing this morning, but I just couldn't bring myself to get in the car and go to the pathology place. Then, when I finally got there, I found that they were closed for lunch. For two hours.

So I went back home, freaked out for another couple of hours. Finally went back, and wow, what luck! They could fit me in right away! How lucky am I! I was just sooooo pleased!

Then, the fun began. Apparently, I might have PERFECT blood pressure (hehehe), but I have TERRIBLE veins. The poor nurse spent almost 10 minutes trying to find a vein. Found one, stuck the needle in ...

Oops, blew it.

Nurse: "Bugger! I was just a bees-sting away from where I needed to be then!"
Me: Quietly hyper-ventiliating.

So, she tried again.

This time, even the vein she had had disappeared, and none of my veins wanted to come out. I'm clenching my fist, shaking my arm, putting my hands in warm water ... Everything.

Finally, she finds one! Woo hoo! Let's go and get this over with!

Oops ... Blew it.

What are you kidding me??!

So, we try again. My veins are, if possible, even MORE reluctant to show themselves, and again, it takes some time for the nurse to find one.

I cannot even tell you the REFLIEF that I feel when I hear her say "Got ya! Ha! It's ok, this time we're in business".

For something that should have taken 10, 15 minutes tops, it was 45 minutes after I walked in that I finally RAN out!

So help me god, if that test shows NOTHING, I will be choking my doctor! Now won't that be fun!

Bizarre. Freaky. Weird. Disturbing.

What people have typed into search engines ... And then ended up at this blog:

- what would cause you to pee when you vomit - Um ... what the? Weird.

- spot on my stomach - Could you be any vaguer?

- doctors appointment coldplay fix you blog - I swear to god. that's exactly what someone typed into a search engine to end up here. No words taken out or added.

- how to make yourself vomit everything - Well, that's just disturbing. And really sad.

- scrubs doctor cox and jordyn lose baby - Doctor Cox and Jordyn lose a baby on Scrubs? Are you kidding me?

- wangaratta safeway murder - There was a murder at Safeway in Wangaratta? Maybe I should look it up on the internet and find out what happened.

- why are parts of the ocean bluer than others - Well I have no freaking idea what that answer is.